The Magic In the Number 4

What other magic qualities can you think of for the number 4?

If I'm honest, I've always liked the number 4. It's easy and even. My mom died when I was four and my life change forever and is marked by all that happened my 4th year on this earth. Before I was married - 4 was one of the numbers of kids I wanted to have - 2 or 4. Four is the number of seasons we have in the calendar year if you are lucky enough to live in a place where you experience them all as we do in Chicago. 4 is the number of quarters in the fiscal business year that we build our activity around. It's the number of time zones to keep up with if you run a nationwide company in the United States. Four is the number of project types we specialize in at Relationships Matter Now. We recognize 4 directions on a map. There are so many significant milestones the number four illustrates. But last week, I got a whole new appreciation for the number as I approached my 44th birthday.

At my birthday massage, my masseuse casually mentioned that she missed her "4 year old" kids. She waxed on about why 4 is such a magical age and the more I listened, the more I agreed.

Four year olds dress the way they like and no one questions them.

Four year olds walk away in the middle of your sentence if they lose interest with no shame or obligation.

Four year olds question every "should."

Four year olds are invincible.

Four years still get amazed when they learn something new.

It got me thinking, with only a few days until I would be 44 - why can't I bring the magic of 4 to 44? Think about it, 44 should be 11 times the magic of 4!

44, a few years into the the decade where I fully accept and love the way I look.

44 was ushered in with amazing possibilities for my business that just completed it's 4th full year of operations.

44 will be the year I abolish "should" from my vocabulary completely.

44 feels invincible as it marks 20 more years I'm on the planet than my mom was when she passed.

44 will be the year I return to seeing the world in amazement. 

There is magic in the number 4 and it is multiplied at 44.

What other magic qualities does the number 4 bring to mind for you?

Wonder: Give In To It

Can you see the "wonder" in the Arbol de Tule in Oaxaca, MX? This is the oldest tree on Earth and we saw it last summer

When you hear the word "wonder," what comes to your mind?

Nature

Wonder Woman

Stevie Wonder

Wonder Bread

If I'm honest, all of the above were some of the first things I thought of when thinking about this post. But the true inspiration of the post is a series of things that have happened since September 25 that are nothing short of miracles to me.

Some work related, some service related and many personal related. All fitting the bill of wonder. Dictionary says wonder n. a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable or v.  to feel admiration and amazement; marvel.

How often do you allow your self to give in to wonder? If you are like the average person, I bet you find ways to explain it away, you ignore it or worse, you are frightened by it. It seems we have come to a place in history where we downplay wonder.

With all the "controls" we have of our time and space with technology these days, it seems that we as a society have lost our ability to stop and truly feel wonder.  Here are two ways to keep that from happening to you.

Let Go 

As simple as it sounds, it can be the hardest thing for most people, letting go. Let go of expectations of others. Let go of outcomes in your every day dealings. Tune in to actuality and let go of what you imagine things to be. As a type-A personality, this is something I have to be extremely intentional about. I often find myself coaching myself to let things go out loud- actually speaking "let go." This is not to say you don't plan or work toward goals or objectives. What this means is simply not being married to how things play out. Absolutely follow your dream and use your best talents daily but don't be set on the HOW it all works. A whole new area of my business was born this past summer by me being open to it, allowing the 'intrusion' in and seeing where it led. It was most definitely a goal of mine in 2013 to serve more Fortune 500 companies but man, am I grateful I was not hell bent on how I'd serve them.

Tune In

In order to genuinely feel wonder, you have to be paying attention. Tuned in. Since by its nature, wonder is unexpected, unfamiliar or inexplicable, you won't see it unless you are tuned in to it. Being buried in your email, you won't see it. Keeping your head lowered toward a device won't help you see it.  You have to be engaged. You have to fully listen to people around you. You have to look for ways to connect yourself to wonder by being open. My favorite thing that happened in the last 60 days was meeting a woman who went to high school with my mom. If you haven't followed me, you may not know that my mom departed this life at a very young age when I was 4 years old. With very few family members on her side and even few non-family connections, there has been a huge void of information about her that has nagged me all my life being the seeker I am. A few weeks back I was speaking at an event in Chicago and at the end, about 70 people rushed the stage to meet me. As people handed me their cards, I looked fully in their eyes and fully at their cards and made and intentional effort to connect with them. I do it every time I speak. Little did I know that a woman would look back at me as I quickly mentioned that she worked in the town my mom lived in as a child and tell me she grew up there to. We stopped in that frantic moment and realized we were connected through my mom who'd passed away 37 years ago. Wonder.

And I could share more than a dozen other similar instances that occurred in my life over the last few months. Today, I want to challenge you to stop and give in to wonder. I am certain it is all around you just as it is all around me.