3 Things Clients Say And What They REALLY Mean

Entrepreneurs are among the most optimistic people on the planet and with good reason. It takes tremendous courage and resilience to build something from nothing and to keep building year over year. Entering the 4th full year of business ownership, I've learned how to decipher what clients and potentials really mean when they say certain things. Regardless of where you are in your entrepreneurial journey, the sooner you understand these 3 things clients (and potentials) say and what they REALLY mean, the better off you will be.

1. You have one or two typos in your proposal, it's no big deal but you should be aware.

This is code for if I didn't know and trust you, I'd have judged you. There have been multiple times in my journey that I have heard this from someone who bought from me already. While I went back to look for the typos, I have to say it wasn't until late last year that I paid someone to review my writing, all the time.  And that is not cool. I am certain that my oversight has cost me business.  On one RFP we lost, the gentleman who gave me feedback told me that my "typos did not affect the vote" but the fact that he mentioned them tells me it's important. Your friend/colleague/potential is telling you to stop being sloppy and it is blessing that they are doing so. It is tough to pay for services at any stage of your business but especially in the early days. It is easy to review things yourself and hope for the best. The problem is you only have one shot with some folks, even people who know and trust you.  Don't do what I did and ignore suggestions for proofreading. Do something. Today.  It is worth it in the long run. Don't lose business or face over a typo.

2.  Our team is having some heartburn, I'm working on it. 

This is classic for one person has a major sticking point in something you said and I'm trying to clean it up.  While this one is not one you hear often, it is common when you present to groups and have to get many different people to buy into your idea/solution/service. Don't be afraid to ask your contact point blank what the issue is. I had several instances of this and in 2014, I mustered up the courage to ask my client directly. They were so relieved for several reasons. One, they did not want to "give up the information"without a direct inquiry. It was a very sensitive discussion and because I asked directly, I gave them an opportunity to tell me with a clean conscience. Two, they were genuinely in a tough spot of not knowing how to answer.  The people who know you and want to do business with you are putting themselves out to bring you in. When there is push-back, it is on you to make it easy for them to advocate without selling you. Asking directly what the issue is and for an opportunity to address it yourself. This not only makes life easier on your contact  but gives you another shot to demonstrate why you are the right person for the job. You take the burden of selling you off your pal and put it firmly where it belongs - in your own hands.

3.  We are having some challenges with the budget.

"Challenges with the budget" means you have not clearly articulated how you will add value to the organization with your project. This one is really cut and dry - it needs to be crystal clear how what you will do will  do one of the following: save the company money,  make the company money or solve a problem that has gone unsolved. Now, when consulting in the space that I am in organizational development, inclusion strategy or strategic planning, it is slightly tougher to articulate but must be done. The person on the other side of your proposal wants to work with you. People don't get to the proposal stage of potential projects without a clear budget expectation in mind. When you get to the final stages of the sale and money is the issue, you have not demonstrated value very well.  Ask the budget, whenever possible. You avoid putting yourself in a tough spot later by taking the risk to learn what the budget is as soon as you can. Another tactic we use is finding out the "pain", the thing that keeps them up at night.  When you can solve a problem that is eating away at someone, they always find the "budget." No joke.  My favorite example was last year when a potential and I went back and forth for a few months on a project that he could not get approved budget wise. Finally, I sent him a note that stated why we may not be a fit at this time and how I am ready when they are ready for my type of services. Within 2 weeks, he came back with his own discretionary budget. When you clearly show how what you can do, people find the funds.

Those are the most common things I've heard over the last 3 years and how we've solved for them. We rarely hear these anymore.  Take time to peek behind the words and understand what people are really saying, especially people who connect with you. Few people connect with the intention of wasting time.  Make it easy on all involved by anticipating needs and addressing them for smoother selling.

Stop Wishin' and Hopin' - Start Doin'

One of my favorite songs of all time has just taken on a new and different meaning. Seven years before I entered planet Earth, a relatively unknown English singer released what would go on to be one of her Top 10 international hit records. Written by American songwriter Burt Bachrach and recorded by many through the years, Dusty Springfield's version of Wishin and Hopin remains my favorite. Always my go-to on karaoke night  and  high on my list of Denise's all-time favorites, I listen to this song often. Recently, while preparing for a string of days jam packed with business meetings, the lyrics fell on me in a new and different way.

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms
That won't get you into his arms
So if you're lookin' to find love you can share
All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and love him
And show him that you care

Clearly, the song is about love and being intentional expressing your love for someone who may or may not know you are there. Well, the same could be said about entrepreneurship.

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' plannin' and and dreamin' each night... won't get you a successful business either.

This song speaks about specific action to make the man yours - "hold him and kiss him" "show him that you care just for him" "wear your hair just for him" because "you won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin' wishin' and a hopin." Dusty croons so eloquently that you must take action to make that romance happen.

Same goes with a dream. Entrepreneurs will tell you, you must act. Action trumps everything. Don't think of all the folks you know who may be able to help you, call them. And make sure when you call, you find a way to make them understand how you can help them or make their life easier.

Don't wait for the timing to be "just right" to start taking action, take action when it feels uncomfortable. Invest when it's a bit of a stretch, financially and otherwise. Calculate the risk and take it anyway.

Finally, believe when no one else does. Take action and believe you can make whatever you need to happen, happen. I was reminded last week of one of the first conversations I had about Relationships Matter Now over 5 years ago. My friend, who recently hired me to collaborate on a big brand marketing project,  reminded me how he believed I'd do this just by hearing my own belief in myself and my method of doing business in those early days. I had to chuckle at his memory because I was convincing myself at that time. Shortly after, I was solidly believing and there was no turning back.

Every time I hear that song and I think about this possibly shy woman in 1964 being told to "All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him,  yeah, just do it And after you do, you will be his." Essentially, those words are pushing this woman to believe and seize the man she wants guaranteeing her that sitting around thinking and wishing and hoping won't bring him to her.  That same sentiment goes for that book you need to write, that product you need to prototype or that service offering you need to polish.

Stop wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' and start doin'.

3 Benefits Of Relaxing Completely

Last week, I did something I have not done much since I ventured out on my own to run Relationships Matter Now, LLC. I completely relaxed on the island of Jamaica to end my favorite month of every year.

Like many other entrepreneurs, I am wound pretty tight and uber focused on my growing my business. Not many days go by that I am not thinking about, working on, networking for or otherwise moving my tiny but mighty business forward. It is a daunting task to completely relax for me.

As an entrepreneur, this is the toughest part of our jobs. Unplugging and spending focused time relaxing. While I have not done it much in the last 2 years my company has been my full-time gig, I can honestly say I relaxed and did it well last week

FreeDictionary.com defines relax this way:

1. To take one's ease; rest.

2. To become lax or loose.

3. To become less severe or strict.

4. To become less restrained or tense.

5. To reduce in intensity; slacken:

While it was very difficult to do, I recommend anyone do it from time to time and here's three reasons why...

Fresh Perspective

One can never have too much perspective in my humble opinion. Removing yourself completely from your environment is a great way to gain perspective you need on your own life and situation. Being on the island, with nowhere to be at no specific time was also a completely different perspective for me. It helped me to see just how much work I cram in daily and in every crevice of almost every day. I most certainly will find ways to steal away for rest thanks to the perspective I gained on this trip. I also found myself reflecting on different things while away from work. Reflecting on my life as a wife and mom more than I have in a long time. I also had time to devour the latest Malcolm Gladwell book which challenged me in a number of ways. My closest relationships will benefit tremendously from my newly gained perspective while in paradise.

True Rest

Our bodies and minds need rest. I am a stickler for getting 8-9 hours of sleep nightly but clearly I stink at resting myself well in other ways.  Nothing was more telling than my outright mind and body release the second day on the island. I could barely move. It was great to not have to. Rest or respite (my preferred word) is needed on a much more grander scale than my insistence on nightly sleep. We need to take a break from our regular routines. We need to sleep more than we normally do. We need to break away from our normal thought patterns. We need to disrupt our habits. We need to stop. Stop and just be. It is really tough to do but really rewarding when we do it.  

New Energy

What I'm feeling in the post vacation after glow is not an island hangover. I am feeling a burst of new energy. New energy around my life  and every role I have.  Ideas on how to apply some of the knowledge I gained from doing nothing for those few days are just one of the welcomed side effects of the full relaxation exercise. I have no tension at all in my body and so my sleep last night was amazing. It's like I got a new, clean slate to start with this day. As I was making my "To Do" list, there was an added sense of urgency for every item that made the list. I have no meetings on deck and I'm sure that is a God send since I am amped up full of ideas and energy for my work.

It's been some time since I completely relaxed like I did last week. I can't even remember the last time but I know it was well before I started my business or even the journey to my business over 5 years ago.  I was way overdue and will challenge myself to find mini-respites to experience the tremendous upsides of total relaxation more often. You'd be wise to join me.

Why Early Adopters Matter For Entrepreneurs

It's hard to believe that it was 6 years ago now that I was first looking at joining the Apple iPhone craze, a full 4 months later than the debut of the original in June 2007. I never considered myself an early adopter by definition but in reality I was when you consider how many more people joined the iPhone bandwagon since that time.

BusinessDictionary.com defines early adopter as follows:

Early adopter is the minority group (comprising about 14 percent) of population which, after innovators, is first to try new ideas, processes, goods and services. Early adopters generally rely on their on intuition and vision, choose carefully, and have above-average education levels.

Over the past few weeks, I have been blessed to speak to some of the very early adopters of my work with Relationships Matter Now, LLC. These are the people who in the very beginnings believed I was on to something with my mission to revolutionize relationships on planet Earth. Clearly, family and close friends count as early adopters but they are biased. So in my accounting of early adopters of Relationships Matter Now, I exclude those who were close to me before the time of launch. My early adopters are the tribe members that knew me but were not so personally invested and gave me the push I needed in ways they may never have even imagined. I'm gonna quickly highlight how each of them helped me when it mattered most and how my brushes with them lately seem to be of no coincidence.

Corporate C-Suite Executive

Early on, really before I started walking toward building Relationships Matter Now, I had a C-level HR executive in my network whom I connected with periodically regarding my corporate marketing career. This woman knew the ins and outs of how to maneuver in Corporate America and really was sharing with me lots of great insights on how to best manage my trajectory. When I decided that I may pursue something different, HR leader and professionals seems a likely target so I mustered up the courage to introduce some of my early ideas and concepts to this executive. Not only did she validate them as innovative and thought provoking, she assured me people would hire me - the marketing gal - for this type of work. She so quickly help me make the transition from marketing specialist to people specialist. During a recent lunch date, I was reminded of her push and validation of my early ideas as we are looking to collaborate on a project I'm pitching to big global company soon.


Non-profit Agency Leader

Stopped in the produce section of my local grocery store in front of me last Sunday was one of the early people who took meetings from me for potential work with Relationships Matter Now, a leader of a mid-sized non-profit from a neighboring community. Before I approached her to say hi, I was flashed back to the moment I first reached out to her and how she readily met with me as a fresh entrepreneur. I remember her willingness to meet with me several times and how she introduced me to who would become my business attorney. Then we spoke for what ended up being 30 full minutes right there over the granny smith apple cart. She said no less than 5 times how proud she was of me. She devoured my update stories of the clients I've secured as well as the ones on the hook that I'm pitching now. She once again, as she did so long ago, encouraged me with potential opportunities and thoughts of introductions. Funny, when we first met, I'd always hoped to have her agency as a client but in fact she has been so much more to me over the years as a early believer  and promoter of my work.


Tech Guru

Finally, I come to the tech powerhouse who was in my network as a loose connection only to convert into a close one when I asked for his support of the Pepsi Refresh Everything digital social good project.  He'd been a peripheral part of my tribe and supported me with votes over the many ups and downs of my participation in the program. When it all fell apart and I did not win the funding, this tech genius volunteered to do the work I was trying to win the money for... build my web presence. He came to the table in the early days matching his best talents to help me use mine. Today, he is one of my closest advisers and we talk and collaborate frequently. But it was his own putting his time and talent on the line to help me and mission that started it all.

You see the early adopters are what fuel the innovation for entrepreneurs. Those folks willing to "try" you out and notice, not one of my early adopters ever wrote me a check. Early adopters are critical to the success of any venture and understanding their value and what you gain from them fuels the future. It is no coincidence that I've been crossing paths again with all the people who were there initially to push me to start Relationships Matter Now. We are at a big crossroads for growth and seeing and interacting with each of those early adopters has given me the added boost I need to push through this new intersection.

2 Things Ben Affleck Said Directly to Entrepreneurs

Ben Affleck Receiving Best Picture Oscar for Argo - Mario Anzouri/REUTERS

Last night, a very unlikely hero emerged from the ashes.

Hot shot actor, overexposed for many years quietly comes back and triumphs big. His film nominated in many categories but he himself snubbed for Best Director, Ben Affleck had a message for everyone in Hollywood.

He is back. (after getting a 1998 Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Good Will Hunting with his best bud, Matt Damon) He is good enough. He is talented. And now, you all know it.

His speech was worth my two hours of lost sleep alone giving us entrepreneurs two great nuggets in his rushed, nervous and downright exhilarating speech.

"You can't hold grudges."

"Doesn't matter how you get knocked down in life, all that matters is you gotta get up."

Not all of us work in the chasm that is Hollywood but Affleck's advice is sound and solid for those of us who work for ourselves in any industry.

Like Affleck, we will be faced with doubters. People you think will be supportive of your endeavors will ignore your calls and not answer your emails. People who will tell you to get them "your stuff" and no matter how much you follow up - they don't do anything. You have to let those folks go. Why? Because then you'll meet the folks who will help.

Doubters and folks who reject us are often the targets of our grudges. Affleck mentioned a specific group of people in his speech, those "who extended themselves to me when they had nothing to benefit from it in Hollywood." Guys, if we are chasing the doubters trying to convince them - we miss the people Ben acknowledged - the people WILLING to extend themselves to us. When we hold grudges, the energy we give off repels the people we need to meet and work with.

My favorite line from Affleck's speech was this one, "And it doesn't matter how you get knocked down in life because that's going to happen. All that matters is you gotta get up." As an entrepreneur, this spoke to me, big time.  I'm particularly moved by his word choice of "how you get knocked down." Knocked down is knocked down, right? Wrong. Some blows are way more significant than others. The client who signs a contract and does not pay is much different from the person who begs for a proposal and doesn't agree to work with you.

Affleck's use of how you get knocked down was intentional. Look at his own fall from Hollywood graces. 15 years ago, Hollywood was making fun of Bennifer, Gigli and Daredevil. Ben Affleck was the butt of late night jokes and generally dismissed as a pretty face with little talent. Yet, he quietly settled down, built a family and got really selective on which projects he chose to lend himself to and little by little -  an amazing filmmaker has emerged from the ashes of a hot shot handsome actor who burned out quickly.

As entrepreneurs, we must get back up. Again. Again.  And again. Regardless of what struck us down. We need look no further than Ben Affleck who made history being only the fourth director to win Best Picture without a Best Director Nomination.

Thanks Ben - I'm fired up all over again for my work today. Even on a lot less sleep.