Email Keeps Me Close

Remember when we'd wait for the "phone call"?

You know the one -

Am I getting an interview?

Is he going to ask me out?

Did I land the account?

OMG - we went out - must. catch. up. girlfriend.

In my life that phone call has given way to the EMAIL.
Instead of the marathon phone call or even the quick chat to clarify - email has replaced this exchange in my life.

And I'm cool with that.

As a busy working mom and wife approaching 4-0 - I long to reach out and connect with friends that I used to have time to talk to regularly. And while there are times I intentionally make the marathon call and sacrifice sleep - I am so grateful for email as tool to say connected.

As an entrepreneur and veteran corporate marketer with close to 20 years experience and contacts - email has been the glue to keep me close to former colleagues and potential clients. How great is it that email enables me to follow-up in a meaningful way with a personal touch SUPER FAST. Earlier this year - I did some outreach to my network via email and made my first consulting engagement sale. Did it in my spare time on a day off from my day job.

The power of email is endless. And while texting has creeped it's way into my toolbox - nothing beats a late night email to update folks on all my happenings.

Nor the response that I get back, that enables me to stop what I am doing and virtually engage with my loved one.

I sent my dad a greeting card for Father's Day this weekend. But I think I'm going to send him an email, too.

My 74 year old - old fashioned - I'm not buying a microwave until 2000 - just got a DVD player because my VHS works fine - kind of dad LOVES email.

Late start appreciated.

Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Why We Must Join Billy Joel Go To Extremes

Triumphant. Victorious. High.

Devastated. Crushed. Low.

The plight of the super high energy person - Extremes.

After a particularly extreme week, I finally collapsed in exhaustion late last night. Unable to move, I slept for 5.5 hours straight and woke up like clockwork at my early morning quiet time.

But it was quite different today. I have finally accepted a deep loss. I mourned it. Prayed about it. Laughed about my obsessive compulsive behavior related to it over mango shakes with two wise women. And now I'm better.

I wish I could say something magical on how to deal and cope better with the extremes that we high energy folks go through but alas there is nothing. Really.

The best way to "deal" is to go there.

Go to your mountaintops - experience the joy. The victory of accomplishing something awesome. Savor it. Share it with those you love. Love it.

And at the same time I encourage you to embrace your pain. Wallow in your loss. Weep. Scream. Feel it. Share it with those who can handle you down. Love it.

Because the next day is a brand new slate. You owe it to yourself and your relationship with others to experience your extremes and then move on

This Billy Joel song was ringing in my head when I woke up. It helped.

Seasons of Relationships

With the arrival of June this week, it appears that Spring has finally come to Chicagoland. Growing up here, you are fully accustomed to a curtailed Spring or no Spring at all with Summer bearing down on you right away.

Either way - it got me thinking about seasons. Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall.

Just as the weather moves thru its course every year - so do our relationships. Some of the activity is in our control but most of it not. Any long term relationships are certain to have their seasons as they endure. When I look at it closely - here's how I see it.

Relationship seasons all begin with a Spring. You know it - the newness, blooming, flowering time when we are patient as the relationship grows and matures. It's discovery time and every moment is cherished and longed for. Everyone experiences Spring in relationships.

Summer is touch and go for relationships. Because like the weather,  some Summers are pleasant, relaxing and slightly off strict routine while other Summers are arduous and dry. Summer seasons in relationships really are the first test if they are like the latter description.  If they are pleasant and relaxing - no issue but if it is draught and scarce -not all relationships make it out of the summer mode.

Fall is transitional in both the weather sense and relationships. Its during this time that we return back to our  pre-Summer phase and start to build routines again.  Fall is also about preparing for harvest - some of the seeds planted early in our relationship have come full circle by now. We notice the subtle changes in our relationships and either accept them or reject them. Fall seasons are a good indicator for the long term prospects for our relationships.

Winter. Regardless of where you live - you look forward to winter's passing. The same holds true with winter time in relationships. These are the tough patches. Sometimes they are intense and have outside elements influencing how we see this season. Other times they are just void of growth and very stagnant. This is the season where most relationships die.

This reflection has caused me to revise my thoughts on my own relationships. Simply put.

Winter is not welcome in my relationships. At no time is it ok NOT to grow with people I do life with. It is never ok to "hunker down and just exist until the next season" as we often do during Chicago winters.

My relationship "tough patches" will be relegated to dry and arduous summers that may visit me. I will work through them and not linger long. I will work tirelessly and intentionally to skip "winter" in all the relationships in my life.

What about you?

What season best characterizes your relationships?

Do you allow winters? Why or why not?

A Connector in My Real Life Love Story: Email

Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.



agpgal@yahoo.com

israelbq@yahoo.com

Just random email addresses to you but those email addresses are so significant to me.

They are the first email addresses for both me and my husband of 10 years.

In fact, one of my most special memories about email is the day, Isael and I created his email address together in anticipation of my moving to Spain in August of 2000 only days after we met for the first time.

We met and knew we wanted to stay in contact even with the thousands of miles and Atlantic Ocean that was going to be between us shortly. Of course, I'd given him my apartment address in La Herradura, GRANADA, SPAIN. I'd promised to call within a week with my new cell phone number.

But the idea that we could use email to stay in touch, cheaper and faster is what motivated me to ask him for his email address. And much to my surprise - in 2000 - he did not have one.

One of the first things we did together as a couple was set up his Yahoo! email address. Then email, along with weekly written letters and almost daily calls, became the centerpiece of our relationship in the early days.

What a significant role email played for us in our early days as a couple.

Almost 11 years (and 10 years married) later,  email has emerged in a new way for us to communicate with one another.

I am the communicator. The wordsmith. Extroverted and quick with an answer.

Isael is the thinker. He ponders. Internalizes and more thoughtful in response.

We communicate pretty well with one another, most often. But when a volatile topic arises - email has become the best place to get the feelings on the table.

For me, I have to "slow my roll" and think a bit more than I'd think in a heated conversation. For him, it allows him the time to comfortably respond without pressure

This video perfectly illustrates what email has become in our union

Email has come full circle in our "couplehood" and I am grateful to have it in my arsenal of communication tools.

What about you? What role does email play with regards to staying connected with your significant other?

What's My One-Handed Dunk?

I went to bed DREAMING about this crazy put back dunk by a guy (I'm embarrassed to admit)  I barely recognized on my favorite NBA team, The Chicago Bulls.

Depending on the outcome of this series, we may or may not remember this at all come June.

One thing is clear - know him or not -  Taj Gibson is fearless.

He is intentional.

And he's playing to win, 100% all the way 'til the buzzer sounds.

He looked at the opponent, didn't worry about who they were, he played his heart out and made indelible statement with his put back dunk.

I woke up thinking - what will be my one-handed put back dunk this day?

Dandelions, Distractions: Our Yard & Life Deceivers

A few days ago, I noticed that our yard - front and back - was over taken by our friends to the right, dandelions. It was a sea of yellow, flowering dandelions. 

As the indoor person I am, I looked at them and was pleasantly reminded that Spring had finally sprung in Chicagoland. My husband, the "award-winning landscape architect,"saw them as a nuisance that had "invaded" our yard. He even went so far as to jokingly blame it on neighbors whose yards were equally yellow since he'd actually done lots of work to prevent them in our yard over the years.

Inside my head, I was slightly amused at the difference in perspective on them. I've loved dandelions my whole life and my dad despised them in our yard when I was a kid.  Now I'm married to a guy who feels the same. I used to rue the day my dad insisted we pull them up by the roots, by hand. Because I was the oldest, "we" always really meant me.

Why did we have to rid our yards of dandelions? Are they really that bad? I joked with my husband how they were so cute, yadda, yadda, yadda.

He finally said, "They may be cute but they kill your grass and plants. So they have to go."

As I drove to work one morning this week, I had an epiphany. 

Dandelions are like distractions in our lives.

Beautiful.

Tempting.

Contagious.

Plentiful. 

Deceptive

And if not eradicated or contained quickly - distractions can over take your life.

It's true. 

Each day I wake with my health and hearty list of things to do, I find myself fighting distractions. Constantly "weeding" out the activities that do not add value to my life, personally or professionally. Intentionally selecting "what stays" and "what goes" is a key part of my every day, every hour some days. Most often, I must take a hands on approach to removing distractions which is eerily like removing dandelions from your yard. 

You can't just mow them away.

You can't pluck them by the green alone.

You have to get on your hands and knees and dig your fingers beneath the surface of the ground and pull them out by their roots.

Then and only then can you be certain they are gone.

So I ask... what are the dandelions in your life? Do you even recognize them? 

And most importantly, are you prepared to weed them out and get on with doing what you need to do?

Small Victories




Smooth pebbles in a river


I recently came across a saying about water always "winning" against the pebbles in a river. Struck me as odd when I read it and I didn't even save it or bother to remember it in its entirety.

The last few weeks have really started to bear fruit for my Relationships Matter Now work that was started last fall. It is as exciting and exhilirating as it is exhausting. There are great days and low days. There are often lower days when I wonder if I'll EVER get to do my life's work full-time as I so desire vs. squeezing it in my every spare moment like I do now.

My relationship with my ultimate goal is stretched to it's limit in the tough moments.

Then it hit me.

The quote is about the water's determination to pass the pebble.

The water does not mind that the pebble is not moving or appears to block it's path.

The water keeps flowing.

The water is so determined to pass that it starts to erode the pebble. Shape it even.

The water keeps on task.

The water is not distracted by what it cannot control - it continues to push what it can.

That is what my small victories are.

In this continum of entrepreneurship and revolutionizing relationships - one at a time, I must remember to grasp each small victory. Bask in it. Learn from it. Use it to motivate the next 5 steps.

Small victories and your healthy relationship with them are the key to any goals you have.

Want a great marriage?

Small victories.

Losing a large amount of weight?

Small victories.

Changing careers or re-entering the job force?

Small victories.

Be alert and looking for the small victories on whatever journey you are on today!