Friday, June 3, 2011
With the arrival of June this week, it appears that Spring has finally come to Chicagoland. Growing up here, you are fully accustomed to a curtailed Spring or no Spring at all with Summer bearing down on you right away.
Either way - it got me thinking about seasons. Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall.
Just as the weather moves thru its course every year - so do our relationships. Some of the activity is in our control but most of it not. Any long term relationships are certain to have their seasons as they endure. When I look at it closely - here's how I see it.
Relationship seasons all begin with a Spring. You know it - the newness, blooming, flowering time when we are patient as the relationship grows and matures. It's discovery time and every moment is cherished and longed for. Everyone experiences Spring in relationships.
Summer is touch and go for relationships. Because like the weather, some Summers are pleasant, relaxing and slightly off strict routine while other Summers are arduous and dry. Summer seasons in relationships really are the first test if they are like the latter description. If they are pleasant and relaxing - no issue but if it is draught and scarce -not all relationships make it out of the summer mode.
Fall is transitional in both the weather sense and relationships. Its during this time that we return back to our pre-Summer phase and start to build routines again. Fall is also about preparing for harvest - some of the seeds planted early in our relationship have come full circle by now. We notice the subtle changes in our relationships and either accept them or reject them. Fall seasons are a good indicator for the long term prospects for our relationships.
Winter. Regardless of where you live - you look forward to winter's passing. The same holds true with winter time in relationships. These are the tough patches. Sometimes they are intense and have outside elements influencing how we see this season. Other times they are just void of growth and very stagnant. This is the season where most relationships die.
This reflection has caused me to revise my thoughts on my own relationships. Simply put.
Winter is not welcome in my relationships. At no time is it ok NOT to grow with people I do life with. It is never ok to "hunker down and just exist until the next season" as we often do during Chicago winters.
My relationship "tough patches" will be relegated to dry and arduous summers that may visit me. I will work through them and not linger long. I will work tirelessly and intentionally to skip "winter" in all the relationships in my life.
What about you?
What season best characterizes your relationships?
Do you allow winters? Why or why not?
Posted by M. Denise Wilmer Barreto at 10:03 PM