Tuesday, August 18, 2015
What do you do when you know change must occur in your life?
If you are like most people, you resist. You first deny and then vehemently fight and finally, reluctantly acquiesce.
I am one of those strange folks who run toward change. Leap on the transformation train. Drive others around me to look for opportunities to change.
Currently, me, my family and my business are in a huge season of change and I find myself resisting the personal change that is thrust upon me.
It is easy to see change that must happen in others. How quickly do we diagnose and "solve" for change opportunities in the lives of others? We dissect and analyze with few data points and feel extremely confident that our resulting "answer" is solid. Slam dunk.
However, when it comes to our own transformation, we are blinded by the data. We are impaired by the narratives we've built to survive and thrive until this point. I am facing huge personal change and find these three tips very helpful.
Get Outside Help
Yes. I said it. Enlist a counselor, therapist or coach to get you where you need to be. I am so excited right now. As I foresaw some of the change that was on the horizon and sensed my own resistance to it, I started asking around for resources. Last Spring, a therapist was recommended to me and I was excited to learn that she had an office very close to my intended new location. That was no coincidence. Further, we connected well and have begun to lay out a plan to get me where I need to be. Asking for help as a Type A - Enneagram 8 head strong Scorpio like myself is a tough, tough act. But it's also an amazingly freeing one. As the person who helps others both professionally and personally, it is imperative that I open myself up to outside help. How can you offer and deliver well what you yourself will not accept? So I have a B.E.S.T. coach for my whole self, a therapist for the emotional journey and some professionals contracted to help me with the business side of my current transformation. A dream team - unleashed to move me from here to there.
Make A Plan
Now this is not a concrete, set in stone plan but a framework for what it is you'd like to see through the change. In my case, some of the change was self-driven and some was thrust upon me. Either way, I need to start to crystallize in my mind's eye what the other side might look like. I am not committing to the outcome but merely imagining what could be. Not only is it fun and cleansing to do, you'd be surprised at how making a simple framework starts to unearth resources that you may have never recognized without some structure to realize them within. My family's move to Evanston is a classic case of this point. We landed on Evanston after extensive research. We started to walk toward it without a specific plan in place but with some framework - a few thoughts on location and budget but the rest was up to the universe. And boy, did the universe deliver. This is also playing out in a few other areas of life right now. Trust me. Put even a skeletal frame together and watch how it opens doors.
Open up. Share your story. Again, I cannot state enough how important it is to keep it real with as many people as possible. You have no idea who may be a resource in your transformation. Additionally, the ability to be vulnerable is without measure because it will cause you to rethink how you view yourself and the world around you. One of the things I've noticed is that my narratives, the ones I've built that have rocked and got me to this point are tired and no longer serving me. That is a very tender and raw space but again, I see the value. Busting my myths and replacing them with real truths about who I am, what I'm capable of and who deserves to be part of that journey is an unbelievably difficult task. And had I not enlisted help and made a plan, I'm pretty sure I'd have turned back as I face my own vulnerability.
Whatever you are facing that appears impossible or insurmountable most certainly is your chance to transform yourself to overcome. Whether its personal or professional, the first major transformation or one of many you've experience in your life, NOW is the time to run toward this next chapter with all you have.
Enlist support. Set some goals. Expose yourself.
You can do it.