Monday, May 4, 2015

2 Ways Forward When You Feel Stuck "Trying"

Late last year, with the help of one of my coaches, I learned that I had a big problem taking and owning responsibility for stuff that was not mine to own. 9 months later, even with that awareness, I still find myself struggling to only own stuff that is mine. In my yoga practice lately, that has been my biggest "intention," let go of stuff that is not mine. This past weekend, a conversation with my 13 year old made it crystal clear why I've struggled and gave me a pathway for freedom. Her simple assessment of a situation gave me two clear paths forward for the next time I get stuck.

Recognize Your True Contribution

Often times we inflate our importance to a circumstance or situation. When we stop to look at our true placement in a particular situation, we can see that even when we are an integral part of something, we truly are only a part of it - not the whole. We can never be the whole when we are part and understanding that helps us set boundaries for what we can and cannot do. My daughter clearly articulated that seeing and understanding our place in a situation enables us to make a good call on how much energy we should invest in changing that situation.

Know When To Say When

As the consummate overachiever in all areas of life, giving up and knowing when to give up is one of my biggest blind spots. Having had the opportunity to grind out victory over victory for most of my life has skewed my judgement on "when to say when." As much as recognizing my true contribution to a circumstance is key, so is understanding when my efforts are having diminishing returns. People like me take hope from even the slightest progress and sometimes that is ok. But most often, it is not and my 13 year old clued me into that revelation. In some situations, you need big progress, not small progress. And the reality is sometimes we fool ourselves into seeing progress when there really is none and it's truly time to move on.

What an amazing burden lifted from me to learn these truths and even more rewarding to learn them from my offspring. I must be doing something right.

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