Monday, April 20, 2015

Stop Telling Yourself That - It's a Lie!

Do you have a good grasp of the "facts" of your life versus the "myths?"
A recurring theme has risen in my interactions over the past few months. When I've been in both personal and professional discussions, the idea of knowing your story versus your circumstance has been popping up again and again. Whether it was directly pertaining to me or the person I was speaking with, it is clear that we all need to be reminded about the facts of who we are versus the things we tell ourselves.

During this current season of my life that has been both a mixture of deep despair and triumphant joy, I have had to re-examine the facts about myself versus my own or society adopted fiction. Knowing and fully embracing my true story is what propels me during the tough times. And of course, it's during tough times that we have fight off the myths that keep us from realizing who we truly are. Here are two pieces of advice to help you distinguish lies from truths.

Spot and Name the Pattern of Good in Your Life

What is the pattern of good that keeps surfacing in your life? Can you readily name it? If not, carve time out of your day TODAY to recall good in your life over the years. Was it your support of others? Was it your network's support of you? Do you bounce rather than splat under pressure? Are you the source of great ideas in a pinch? Would someone say your words are "lifesavers?" There are so many possibilities for this. Take some time to reflect on your life. If not your whole life - how about the last 5 years? 10 years? Look for and annotate times you were proud of yourself. Think about and record specific incidents where you felt good. What was happening? Who were you with? When you can spot and name the pattern of good in your life, you can summon it when circumstances tell you otherwise. Your consistent patterns of good are your true life story, not the situation you currently face. Knowing and recalling the good serves you when what's around you is not so good. Make it a habit to know and retell the good in your life.

Know the Difference Between Circumstantial Evidence and True Evidence

Wikipedia defines  Circumstantial evidence as  evidence that relies on an inference to connect it to a conclusion of fact—like a fingerprint at the scene of a crime. By contrast, direct evidence supports the truth of an assertion directly—i.e., without need for any additional evidence or inference. Clearly, this analogy applies to criminal or civil case law but look at how this applies to the topic we are unpacking. As you reflect on your life, you may see a pattern of circumstances that have led you to believe certain lies about yourself. And in the self-fulfilling prophecy, you have adopted the lies as truth when in fact, they are only true in certain contexts.  Take time to realize what circumstances are harmful and take steps to remove them. Remove yourself from the contexts that feed your lies and immerse yourself in contexts that feed your truths. This could be situations or even people patterns but you owe it to yourself to hold on to what is actually true versus things that occur in a certain set of circumstances.

Once you've reconnected with your true story and start to repel your myths, you will see an immediate difference in the results you get as you face your circumstances. No, your circumstances won't magically be more bearable. They may even get worse. But your ability to manage through those circumstances will soar and you will feel more peace and security. When grounded in our truths, there little that can shake us.


1 comment:

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