Restoring Fatih When What You See Sucks

A new day sun means you have a chance to restore your faith

 

The last 4 weeks have challenged every positive mass I have in my body.

First, Prince died.

Then a few weeks later, my family moved. And while it was a planned and prepared for quick move across town, it about killed me both physically and emotionally. The grief it emoted about my pending divorce was debilitating.

Finally, I discovered this week that a super precious piece of jewelry is gone. Don't even remember the last time I saw it before the move. It was significant for many reasons among them, it was meaningful by who purchased it for me and the thoughtfully constructed additives each year since I got it for my birthday in 2014. 

I was at my end in puddle of tears, rage, anger, sadness and grief this week.

But I got up the next day and had to face my life all over again and here's what I did to make that happen:

Find Something Good

Gratitude is the cure for everything. In the midst of my worst day this week that really culminated a crappy string of days and weeks, I found something to be grateful for. It was small. But it was significant. It was a reminder that our lives are compiled of moments and while I am in the midst of a string of really crappy moments - I can find some good. You can, too. You must seek it. Look diligently for the one positive thing that occurs in the midst of turmoil. You can build from that.

Focus on Your Purpose

I have a purpose on earth. And I am living it. Even on the super hard days. When I feel sad, angry or despondent, I remember that I am here to drive better relationships. I am here to inspire others to be real - with themselves and those they do life with.  Even in my pain, there is purpose. When you find your purpose, be sure and use it as fuel. This week I was able to impact people with my talents in the midst of deep heartache. Last week was not different. Or the week before that. Focusing on my purpose makes this season less treacherous.

Know It's A Season

I've been saying that to myself for over a year now and I don't believe it any less. We cannot be down forever. I have no idea when my season will turn but I know it will. I have been on earth 44 years  and have seen my life in cycles and seasons since my mother's passing when I was 4 years old. I remember vividly great seasons and really desolate seasons throughout my life. This is no different. And while I have no idea when it will change and be a calm and peaceful season, I have faith that one day I will look back on this season and be better for it. Personally and professionally.


If you are like me, in the midst of a seemingly never ending tough season of life. Take heart.  Find something to be grateful for, focus on your purpose and be confident that it's a season that will indeed pass.

My Life As A Non-Conformist Began With A Prince Song

The immortal Prince in one of my favorite eras of his life.

Prince was the epitome of non-compliance and it was his music that inspired my non-compliant spirit starting at the age of 8. I used to sing "I Wanna Be Your Lover" at the top of lungs.  Most often signing with no recourse until my dad heard me one day and asked me if I knew what I was singing. At age 8, I clearly had no idea what "I wanna be the only one you come for, yeah" really meant.  My dad told me he did not want to hear me singing that "garbage" ever again, with little explanation why.  So I remember nodding and waiting until he went to work to scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dared our babysitter to stop me.  No matter what anyone said to me, I was listening to that song and all the others from that man with a one word name. And non-conformity has been a brand attribute of mine ever since. Here's the three reasons I will forever be grateful that Prince touched my life.

Rules As Suggestions

Prince was known to push the limits and saw rules and regulations as suggestions only. His life overall is a walking example of nonconformity but let's just focus on his music. Every time someone put a label on his music, he reinvented his sound. He even took the same music and made it cross every genre imaginable and some say he had his own genre altogether. Even the way he executed in the music business was unheard of. From being the youngest producer at Warner Bros at the age of 19 to changing his name to protect his copyrights to releasing music independently of a label long before the internet, Prince busted up every rule of the music industry and wrote his own. Clearly, there were some constraints thrust upon him throughout his music career but his ingenuity transcended each and every one.

His Own Brand Of Black

Prince is my perfect example of how to be Black. Stop for a minute and look at his style and the way he presented himself to the world. Seeing all the images of him the last 24 hours reminded me of how he literally lived his life as Black man like no other. At the time he entered the music scene, most Black artists had a look and sound that was familiar and  "trademarked Black." Enter this light skinned, petite bodied man from Minneapolis who busted the paradigm for what Black music was and what a Black artist could do. Then he elevated his story with his movie Purple Rain and told a different view of Black life that was not being told widely at that time. I cannot recall anyone ever questioning his Blackness. I mean, he began his 2007 Super Bowl performance in a do-rag.  But as a light skinned, gender bending, multiple genre rock star, he elevated what Black in America could be and pushed  and challenged traditional Black narratives daily. Until his death, he continued to drive issues that impacted Black lives all while living his own story of Blackness.

Clearly He Loved Himself

If there was ever a person who accepted himself fully, I have to believe it was Prince. The sheer courage to be who he was at all times was unprecedented. Again, the imagery we have witnessed across the almost 40 year career is a self-love display. Interview after interview, I've watched him talk about love as a centerpiece of life. His documented generosity to countless charities uplifting those without a voice. His political activism - both the subtle and outspoken - for decades against injustice. Love for others, especially marginalized people, only comes from a deep sense of acceptance and love of oneself. Prince lived his life fully and wholly accepting of who he was which made him a gracious and genuine lover of others.


As I reflect on my life- especially now during a particularly tough personal season - each and every one of those attributes of Prince have permeated my life as well. It only upon his passing that I realize how much he influenced those traits in me throughout my life. Prince lit the way for this non-compliant, fearless leader. Thank you. May you rest in Power.

I Got A Theme Song, But What About The Others?

Recently saw a post on Facebook about the following songs for your life: A Theme Song, A Strut Song and Your Entrance Song. Being a person extremely touched and moved by music on so many levels, of course, I have a Theme Song. Have had one for the last 22 years or so. What shocked me upon reading the post was my ignorance to the concept of the Strut and Entrance song.

Duh.

Why had I never given that any thought before now?

My theme song is Baby I'm A Star by Prince. Released in June 1984 with the Purple Rain album, this up tempo, mucho bravado and personal manifesto of a song became my theme song sometime during my sophomore year in college. Not sure exactly what the assignment was but I remember having to write about it and explain my choice.

Very simple. Have you ever listened to the words to that song? It starts with...

Hey. Look me over. Tell me do you like what you see. Hey, I ain't got no money, but honey, I'm rich on personality

And of course the chorus  - Baby I'm a (star). Might not know it now, but baby I are, I'm a (star).

For as long as I can remember, I saw those words as mine. Even now - when I play the song, my hearts perks up and my adrenaline starts flowing overtime. Prince wrote it as an ode to Pop Stardom that was finally setting in for him at his peak when Purple Rain, the album and movie were released. It has always been sort of an anthem to what was coming in my life as well. "Might not know it now, but baby... I'm a star!"

Now add the Strut song and Entrance song to the mix and I'm about stumped. I'm still thinking about the Strut song simply because - it seems more personal, less a song that others will hear, more of a song that plays in your mind as you strut. The Entrance song is a bit more doable at the moment simply because I do public speak. Many folks who speak have an entrance song, especially when they get to a certain level and their talks are held in certain types of venues. There are candidates for my Entrance song, oh are there candidates.

Being a political junkie and super fan of presidential politics - hearing the Entrance song concept reminds me of President Clinton's adoption of Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Believing" for his campaigns in 1992 and 1996. Every time I hear those songs, I think of him entering an arena.

So I was thinking my entrance song could be one of two U2 songs, one INXS B side and the Whitney Houston cover of Chaka Khan's 70s classic. 

Four songs - four very different meanings, lyrics, three different artists.

Desire - U2
Even Better Than The Real Thing - U2
Shining Star - INXS
I'm Every Woman - Whitney Houston

Still can't decide. The good thing is, I'm not packing stadiums or running for federal office just yet so I am under no pressure to pick now. I'll continue to deliberate and use my "Baby, I'm Star" in all capacities.

What about YOU?

Do you have a theme song?

What would your Strut Song or Entrance Song be?