Do you bounce?
No, I am not referring to some hip new dance or referring to the slang term for leaving.
I am asking how you react when things don't go your way.
Do you bounce or do you splat?
Over the last 60 days, I've had the opportunity to bounce or splat many, many times. Some things in my control and many others outside my control. Yet every time I found myself bouncing back into life with more desire for success. I am wired to keep moving forward, to persevere - to bounce.
What if you don't have this in your DNA like me? What do you have to do to bounce the next time you get hit by a set back?
Try these three tactics:
Retreat from the circumstance that is causing your pain. I'm not saying avoid it - I am saying allow yourself the space to process and understand all that is going on before you make any moves. No quick responses by email, not lashing out over the phone in the moment - just back away from the situation. Give yourself and perhaps others the necessary space at the on set of trouble to properly deal with it. There is no set time. It could be 24 hours, it could be 48 - it all depends on the the situation. Can't get time space then get physical space - if it's at work, step outside. If it's at home - go for a quick walk or drive to get some space between you and the problem.
Work with facts and not emotions. When things go wrong, we all get defensive and emotional and it is the worst thing to do when trying to bounce. Remind yourself of the facts in the situation. State clearly what is fact and what is fiction. Write it down, if you must. Your hurt feelings are not invalid, they are just unwelcome in the quest for resolution. Find a personal confidant that is not involved in the situation to vent those feelings to so you free yourself to actually deal in facts with the pertinent parties. This is particularly important in business dealings. Our work is personal and when criticized is tough to accept, most often. Keep the discussions around the last set of facts that all parties agreed to and build restoration from there.
Most often even the greatest obstacles find resolution but in the moment of distress, how many of us seek alternatives? I always hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I find that when all is bad in one situation, thinking about and creating alternatives immediately soothes me. Putting my energy into unrelated projects and innovating in another area of my life almost always gives me new perspective on the situation that stumps me. It is also a way to soften the blow should the straineed issue not resolve. Recently, while figuring out an issue on one project - I injected new life and momentum in another project that sorely needed the boost.
While these actions won't necessarily solve the issue you face, they can certainly make it easier for you to bounce back when you fall next time.
What other suggestions would you give to someone who is looking to bounce in life?