3 Ways To Get A Non-Compliant Onboard

This is me. Not literally but pretty close.

One of my blessings and curses in life is my spirit of non-compliance. Some people call it stubborn. Other people call it determined. Yet others call in innovative. All my life, my non-compliant personality has been both the best and worst thing I have going for me.

On one hand, it has been an enormous tool to inspire me to solutions for many complex challenges I have faced in my life. Additionally, I've been able to channel my non-compliance for the good of many organizations that I have served over the years.

It has also resulted in tremendous frustration as I tried to solve issues that just weren't meant to be solved by me or just plain were not to be solved at all, by anyone. What's saved me is the discernment to know the difference. As I was reflecting recently, I realized that there are ways to move me as a non-compliant and I thought it would be good to share that for others who do life with non-compliant people.  First, let's look at a definition of non-compliant.  Freedictionary.com defines non-compliant this way:

1. n.        a person who refuses or fails to comply
2. adj.     boldly resisting authority or an opposing force

Now let's look at three tactics to help you sway the non-compliant in your life.

Surrender

The sooner you concede to a non-compliant the better. Surrender in this case is to surrender your need to convince the non-compliant in your life and acknowledge this verbally. Let your non-compliant know that you don't expect them to change their mind but that you will still offer your solution and/or path. First, you will have their attention by just your word choice. Most non-compliant people are deliberate in their language and they appreciate when deliberate language is reciprocated. Second, you've opened the door to choice. Non-compliant people do not like to be cornered and love options. Give them options but keep driving the point you want to make.

Data

When you are up against a non-compliant, most often, they are armed to the hilt with data supporting their stance. Nothing makes a non-compliant more confident that finding validating information to bolster his/her position. However, nothing moves a non-compliant like proof, even if it's proof in their opposition. While they are not likely to just roll over to your position, it is so much easier to have conversations with a non-compliant when you show that you've done your homework and are ready to have an intelligent discussion.  Non-compliant people are first and foremost learners and creators. Learners know that there is always information out there that they don't know. Use that information the next time you have to move a non-compliant in your life.

Collaborate

Bring a non-compliant in by baking ideas together. The whole reason a non-compliant refuses is tied to his/her ability to contribute and see their contribution. Non-compliant people do not just accept things as they are; often times, they like to create the scenario or picture how things could be.  When not given an opportunity to contribute, you can count on non-compliant folks to be disruptive and try to drive change other ways. Collaboration is key and lots of times non-compliant people drive it but they are big supporters when others drive collaboration, too. It gives them much need rest from the helm. It also gives them a chance to learn something new from a different perspective, which is a big value for non-compliant personalities.

Whether your non-compliant is a child in your class or a co-worker on your team, follow one or more of these tactics and you're sure to sway your favorite non-compliant person your way more often.

Our Fluid New World

Complex fluid/Complex flow

Years ago, someone told me  that my personality was more fluid than linear.

At the time, I have to admit I had little idea what it really meant but liked knowing it and kept the concept.

As I've grown older, I've learned quite a bit more about the concept and without question, I am much more fluid that linear in most instances while in other cases, I am extremely linear. It really all depends what the challenge is. This is especially true for me now as a business owner.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the two as I am utilizing them below:

Fluid:   subject to change or movement

Linear: of, relating to, or based or depending on sequential development 


That stated, one thing I know for sure - regardless of where you are on this axiom - the world is more fluid than it has ever been. Concepts, ideas and actions move at a lightening fast pace versus 30 or 40 years ago. People have to adapt and then adapt again so much now that the only certainty is uncertainty itself. 

How do you react to this?

Does this freak you out?

Are you defiant in "sticking with what works"?

Do you just go with the flow?

Your quality of life depends on how you answer those questions.

This will seem trivial but should illustrate my point well. I have lived most of my life in the Chicago area. Before the last few years, it was pretty predictable how our seasons go. Winter was simple. Cold. Frigid. Colder. Fridger. We rarely had spring as it would often be very cold into April and early May and by June we'd all be complaining about the heat. Fall was always my favorite season because Chicago often had Indian Summers that one day in December (sometimes November) just give way to the aforementioned Winter pattern. 

Not so much anymore. 

It is January and yesterday it was hovering around freezing with sheets of ice covering my porch and sidewalk when I went out to walk my dog for the last time at 8 pm. This morning, on that same walk,  on that same walkway - it was a balmy 51 degrees. We had a weather prediction that we'd see 50s on Wed. I looked right before I slept only to look now and see that it has changed again and we can expect it be 18 degrees on Thursday.

Who knows what will actually happen, the point is this. We must be fluid in our responses to this fluid weather situation. We must bundle up when it is cold. We must lighten the layers when it is not. That can sometimes occur in the same 24 hours - no matter. In order to navigate Chicago, you have to adapt to our new fluid weather pattern.

Same goes with other areas of life. Our work. Our recreation. Our relationships.

We must come at them with an open mind for change. We must equip ourselves with tools to handle whatever comes our way. We must embrace the change with flexible arms to let it go, should it be necessary.

Think about all the "systems" you belong to... church, political, community, work, family etc etc. When was the last time things consistently stayed the same in those arenas? Of course, your answer was never. People change. Things change. Situations change. 

Whether you lean toward more linear thinking or are super fluid in your patterns - our fluid new world offers us the chance to practice moving through change frequently. Your quality of life depends on your adapting skills to all this change.

What are other thoughts on this topic? Let me hear yours!