Why Entrepreneurship Killed My March Madness

Without office mates - I'm.Left.Out

For the third consecutive year,  we have arrived at the NCAA Championship game and I barely know what's going on.

Now, it's not because of the classic reasons you might think.  I did not miss the hoops hoopla because I went to a loser university that does not make it to the tourney or because none of my favorite teams to cheer for fell short. Certainly, I could have found a team to root for without being an obnoxious bandwagoneer.

It's also not because I resent watching NCAA basketball now because of that unfortunate fact of my distance from that age and I think it's sort of creepy to say how cute the point guard from UConn is when you realize he really could be your kid. Nah. That's not why I'm clueless again - I look at young NBA players and feel the same.

And finally, it is not because I was insanely busy this March with my highest revenue month since I started my business. With games on in every airport I traveled in as well as our ability to get scores or stream games on every mobile device we carry, I COULD have tuned in.

The fact of the matter is... entrepreneurship has killed my March Madness.

Yeah, I said it. And yeah, I'm bitter.

Without an office pool to lose or co-workers to tease my bracket choices, March Madness is just no fun.

You see, the first year you leave - every one remembers to send you the bracket. You participate but not with the same level of enthusiasm. No one walks by your desk and teases your selection of that Big Ten team who is ranked #1 in their region to make the Final Four.

You miss the gathering by the microwave where you all make fun of the one gal who picks her teams based on her favorite jersey colors or vacation spots. You never have the chance to laugh in the face of the arrogant guy whose bracket is wrecked after the first weekend.  You never get the chance to live vicariously through the life of the friend whose alma mater makes it all the way to the Final Four, again - Duke, Kentucky Kansas or any of the other usual suspects.. You never have the chance to miss the cool parties all the single or radically committed folks go to over the course of the three tourney weekends.

Being an entrepreneur means you lose all true vested interest the annual March ritual. And while I love everything else that has come with my entrepreneurship the last three years....

Increased flexibility

Variety of work that I choose

Complete control of my income potential

Ability to use my best talents EVERY SINGLE DAY

I  DO miss the chance to play a bracket and have fun with a bunch of co-workers.

Do you guys miss me?

Stop Wishin' and Hopin' - Start Doin'

One of my favorite songs of all time has just taken on a new and different meaning. Seven years before I entered planet Earth, a relatively unknown English singer released what would go on to be one of her Top 10 international hit records. Written by American songwriter Burt Bachrach and recorded by many through the years, Dusty Springfield's version of Wishin and Hopin remains my favorite. Always my go-to on karaoke night  and  high on my list of Denise's all-time favorites, I listen to this song often. Recently, while preparing for a string of days jam packed with business meetings, the lyrics fell on me in a new and different way.

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms
That won't get you into his arms
So if you're lookin' to find love you can share
All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and love him
And show him that you care

Clearly, the song is about love and being intentional expressing your love for someone who may or may not know you are there. Well, the same could be said about entrepreneurship.

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' plannin' and and dreamin' each night... won't get you a successful business either.

This song speaks about specific action to make the man yours - "hold him and kiss him" "show him that you care just for him" "wear your hair just for him" because "you won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin' wishin' and a hopin." Dusty croons so eloquently that you must take action to make that romance happen.

Same goes with a dream. Entrepreneurs will tell you, you must act. Action trumps everything. Don't think of all the folks you know who may be able to help you, call them. And make sure when you call, you find a way to make them understand how you can help them or make their life easier.

Don't wait for the timing to be "just right" to start taking action, take action when it feels uncomfortable. Invest when it's a bit of a stretch, financially and otherwise. Calculate the risk and take it anyway.

Finally, believe when no one else does. Take action and believe you can make whatever you need to happen, happen. I was reminded last week of one of the first conversations I had about Relationships Matter Now over 5 years ago. My friend, who recently hired me to collaborate on a big brand marketing project,  reminded me how he believed I'd do this just by hearing my own belief in myself and my method of doing business in those early days. I had to chuckle at his memory because I was convincing myself at that time. Shortly after, I was solidly believing and there was no turning back.

Every time I hear that song and I think about this possibly shy woman in 1964 being told to "All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him,  yeah, just do it And after you do, you will be his." Essentially, those words are pushing this woman to believe and seize the man she wants guaranteeing her that sitting around thinking and wishing and hoping won't bring him to her.  That same sentiment goes for that book you need to write, that product you need to prototype or that service offering you need to polish.

Stop wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' and start doin'.

Get In The Arena

Upon doing something really extraordinary such as playing a championship game and coming up short, people often say, "I am just glad to compete," or "I'm so glad to be here." Until this week, I never understood that. Being the uber competitive and ambitious person I am, I could not understand how "just being there" was satisfying or fulfilling. 

Until now.

This week, my tiny company went to meet with a global multi-billion dollar corporation about partnering on a project. The meeting was the culmination of a few years of networking and building our reputation and was by no means a coincidence or luck. It was the result of a series of intentional actions and it felt amazing to be there. 

In the arena. Playing with the big dogs. And it was during my quick,  less than 24 hour trip to the headquarters of one of the most powerful companies on the planet that I finally understood the old, "I'm just glad to compete" saying.

There is a feeling of satisfaction being at the table sharing ideas with the best. There is a sense of accomplishment "just being there." Now, make no mistake. I want the business and intend to do everything in my power to secure it. But taking a moment to stop and reflect on being in the arena is important. 

The tiny "win" of being at the table for this enormous opportunity can challenge me in my thinking about this and other opportunities. Positive momentum of any kind can be converted into fuel. Parallel to that is the relationship building aspect of the meeting that is priceless.

For the first time in a very long time, I went into the arena without regard for the outcome but more open to what the arena experience was going to bring me. To have a company my size entertaining a partnership with one of the world's largest entities is beyond exciting. It is downright humbling and breath-taking. I want to soak it all up and not miss any lesson from the experience. And I need to do that before I shift my energy into moving this beast from a prospect to a partner.

Stop and give yourself credit for being in the arena. Absorb all the good you can from small wins in the journey. Marry yourself to the experience more than the result.

It makes the arena experience all the more rich when you give yourself space to learn from and enjoy it.

Go.

With less than 90 days left in 2013, I am feeling a lot of pressure, especially in my business. Every new project I do from now until the end of the year is pure profit so booking new business is a big priority. It is also a busy time for planning for 2014, so continuing to prospect, have conversations and send proposals for 2014 is also critical to end the year well and have a solid start to the new year that is quickly coming.

I don't know about you but it is often in times like this that I feel the most paralyzed. The ability to just... go, is often stifled. And while I've most spoken about this from a business standpoint so far,  by no means is this thought limited to work or career. Personal stuff needs our attention, too. The holidays are coming quickly and we all know that can be a landmine of opportunity relationally speaking.

So this post is not only an encouragement for you but a huge reminder for me. The following barrage of questions are to be answered by you (and me) as soon as humanly possible. The fate of our year depends on it.

What in your life needs some attention today?

Who needs to be followed up with immediately?

What celebrations have you been postponing?

How can you maximize the last few months of 2013 to ensure a strong finish?

Who in your life is desperately needs to hear from you?


What project is calling your name?

What can you do to get an even BIGGER jump on 2014?

How can you ignite yourself to just... GO?

Grow With Me At The Global Leadership Summit!

 Each August, I have an appointment with myself to recharge my batteries. Some years, there are multiple recharges but every August, since 2006, I have recharged my leadership batteries at the Willow Creek Association Global Leadership Summit.

As a leader, it is my obligation to grow- every day of every year. I take this obligation very personally and I intentionally set out each year to grow. Part of my process includes two days of focused learning from a cross-section of leaders from around the globe. I unplug from my normal daily duties to absorb nuggets of wisdom and I've always shared those with my tribe throughout the two days.

The Global Leadership Summit is hosted by Willow Creek Association and is crafted to to infuse vision, skill development and inspiration for the sake of local church transformation. That is the intent but the GLS is also an incredible catalyst for marketplace transformation as well. In fact, that is what first attracted me to the summit to begin with. In addition to pastors doing incredible feats around the world to further the gospel, key global leaders from government and the private sector have graced the stage to teach as well. I credit the GLS as being one of the many factors to convince me to venture out as an entrepreneur. Business leaders I'd admired and respected have come to share their journey as well as young entrepreneurs who are changing the world in their own way. There was even an international rock star on the roster back in 2007.

This year will be no exception.  Come Thursday, I will be among some of the greatest church and marketplace leaders in the world for two days of learning, sharing and most importantly,  growing. In addition to my normal expectation to grow personally, I am part of the @wcaglas digital experience team  and will share my perspective with a broader audience.

Be sure and follow along:

Twitter: @DeniseWBarreto
Facebook: facebook.com/relationshipsmatternow
#wcagls

Join our conversation!

Reality Based Evidence vs. Fear Based Evidence - Which Will You Choose?

Yes, that about captures the face I had last week when I got the final look at the finances for Relationships Matter Now's  first full-time year in business.

We made money.

We were profitable.

We just didn't make as MUCH money as we set out to.

Not a bad problem to have in a new business but a problem nonetheless. Fortunately for me, I have a great relationship with disappointment. We acknowledge one another and I take the time to feel my disappointment. Rage and cry, if necessary and this time it was a cry.

A scary,  I-so-need-to-grow-my-business-and-grow-it-now-but-I'm-working-as-smart-as-I-can burst of tears. I took the time to look at how we fell short in 2012. I re-visited the 2013 plan and took a moment to assess Q1 and where I think we will finish based on what I know now.

Why am I sharing this with the world? Because you need to know that adventurous people who step out in faith battle demons just like those of you who have not dared to step out. We fight fear and disappointment, just as you do. We fret over numbers and projections, too.

The only difference is we continue to believe we can do it. We retool plans. We acknowledge our fear and we push through it. We build plans B, C and D when plan A fails us. We also look at the evidence.  The REAL evidence and not the fake evidence our fear feeds us.

Look at the subtle differences:

Fact:   My company did not make enough money
Fear evidence:  You didn't make enough money, perhaps you need to reconsider entrepreneurship.
Real evidence:  You have a profitable model, you need to make more people aware of it.

Fact:   My company turned a profit
Fear evidence:  It may take a long time to turn a bigger profit.
Real evidence:  Each project helps you refine pricing and profit structure. Just need more.

Fact:   Momentum for 2013 is greater than momentum for 2012
Fear evidence:  Less possibilities have come to fruition in Q1
Real evidence:  More possibilities are building daily for remainder of 2013 and beyond

Fear is never on our side. It always feeds our doubts and it's up to us to decipher what we will listen to, consistently - reality or fear based evidence.

I choose reality based evidence. That is the difference between those who dream and do and everyone else.

What about you? How can you dissect fear based evidence versus reality based evidence in your life today? What will you believe?

How Often Do You Fill Your Leadership Cup?

Anyone who leads anything has a leadership cup. Be it your family, your team at work, the small group at your church or the group of gals you coffee with each morning at the coffee house - you lead in some way, shape or form.

From a pure logic standpoint, your capacity to lead is likened to a cup. You can only pour out what you have inside. Once the cup is empty, it's pretty tough to keep going, effectively.

Today's question is designed to challenge you to fill your cup. For me it is a no brainer. And it's that time of year again.

Every August since 2006, I refill my leadership cup at the annual Global Leadership Summit put on by the Willowcreek Association. It is two full days packed with lots of teachings, interactions and activities designed to strengthen me as a leader. I cannot imagine my year without it. It is not the only leadership cup fill I get every year but it is the most significant. It is a signal to all around me that my personal development is a priority. No calls, no meetings, very little email interaction - 100% focus on growing my leadership capabilities. GLS 2012 is a special year as it marks the first year I'm attending the GLS as my own boss.

It was at my third GLS that the possibility of owning my own business even became a major thought. I've said many times and I highlight it again in my upcoming book, I am an unlikely entrepreneur from a long history of family members who are good at working for others. However, my commitment to growing and filling my leadership cup every year in an intense and intentional way led me to my current place. In between summits, I read voraciously - blogs, books, articles to help me grow. I also speak at and attend several other conferences. I interact regularly with other committed growing leaders. Lots of tactics and lots of time invested in filling my leadership cup.

I find that keeping my cup full increases my capacity to extend myself to those I lead. I cannot function well as a leader without my cup full.  Everyone is different. For me, full = ready. Ready to lead. Ready to jump on opportunities. Ready to be more compassionate to those around me. Ready to do what I was designed to do - revolutionize relationships on planet Earth.

What about you?

How often do you fill your leadership cup?

What are your tactics for keeping it full?

Small Victories




Smooth pebbles in a river


I recently came across a saying about water always "winning" against the pebbles in a river. Struck me as odd when I read it and I didn't even save it or bother to remember it in its entirety.

The last few weeks have really started to bear fruit for my Relationships Matter Now work that was started last fall. It is as exciting and exhilirating as it is exhausting. There are great days and low days. There are often lower days when I wonder if I'll EVER get to do my life's work full-time as I so desire vs. squeezing it in my every spare moment like I do now.

My relationship with my ultimate goal is stretched to it's limit in the tough moments.

Then it hit me.

The quote is about the water's determination to pass the pebble.

The water does not mind that the pebble is not moving or appears to block it's path.

The water keeps flowing.

The water is so determined to pass that it starts to erode the pebble. Shape it even.

The water keeps on task.

The water is not distracted by what it cannot control - it continues to push what it can.

That is what my small victories are.

In this continum of entrepreneurship and revolutionizing relationships - one at a time, I must remember to grasp each small victory. Bask in it. Learn from it. Use it to motivate the next 5 steps.

Small victories and your healthy relationship with them are the key to any goals you have.

Want a great marriage?

Small victories.

Losing a large amount of weight?

Small victories.

Changing careers or re-entering the job force?

Small victories.

Be alert and looking for the small victories on whatever journey you are on today!