Open For Business, Finally

This has got to be the longest grand opening ever but here goes....

Relationships Matter Now, LLC is open for business.

I know, I've been dabbling, teasing and even doing independent projects, collecting clients here and there for the last 2 years. But as of Feb 16, 2012 - Relationships Matter Now, LLC is taking up 100% of all my vocational energy.

It has been exhilarating and scary time. Because I hung out the shingle so long ago and have morphed and evolved what RMN is many times - here goes a little Q & A for those of you who have been around awhile.

What is Relationships Matter Now, LLC?

We are a boutique marketing consultant firm that specializes in bringing new products or services to market. This was a very easy decision. When I looked at my entire career, with the exception of my time at Sears (and there was some application there albeit really stretching), I've always been the pioneer marketer. The one who comes up with the plan and process to bring something new to market. To reach folks and lure them in for the trial.

Every single position I held in a company was a newly created position or one that I created from another role within the company. It made all the sense in the world for my venture to start by partnering with clients to bring something new to market.

We also serve as a strategic business partner for several clients providing overall business strategy consulting as well as marketing strategy, marketing planning and execution. I say we, because I have a solid team of other consultants across the US pitching in on most of the engagements we currently have.

Because relationships are our greatest asset, we have partners is various industries and use them to advance the business of our partners as well as our own.

Wasn't Relationships Matter Now, LLC gonna do something with relationships or relational wellness?

My,  do you have a great memory! Yes - two years ago at exactly this time - Relationships Matter Now was in the running for a Pepsi Refresh Everything Project grant to start bringing relational wellness programming to the forefront. We came thisclose to actually winning a grant but never did.

To answer the question - why yes, we were and are doing "something with relationships".  Relationships Matter Now is committed to leading the conversation on how relationships really work versus how we think they should work. We facilitate workshops and have led strategy sessions for clients who want to help their employees leverage relationships to boost profitability.

Helping folks strengthen their own Chain of Relationships - starting with self,  is still at the core of our values. However, partnering with clients to build and grow thriving relationships with their target customers is also a core value and competency of our firm.

RelationshipsMatterNow.com still has a goal to be the "WebMD" of relationships and serve as a hub for all things relationship. We are in the strategic planning stages of just how and when we march toward that goal. Stay tuned. The site will be morphing to match our current trajectory soon.

What makes Relationships Matter Now, LLC any different from anyone else out there selling marketing services?

Honestly, it's our relationships.

Starting with our relationships with our self. We know what we can do and cannot do. We operate from a place of complete integrity and are transparent with our partners thus encouraging reciprocal transparency.

And as a result of our strong relationships with self, our relationships with others are solid. The people and firms we choose to partner with are all connected to us personally. And yes, that does matter. When you operate from a place of working with people who share vision and values - not necessarily styles, you can never go wrong. There is never a need to convince. Ever. There is mutual respect for our talents and what everyone brings to the table and makes our partnerships more important that the project itself.

Will this blog change after this announcement?

Not at all. We are still committed to exploring and interacting with folks about all kinds of relationship topics. Now, the idea is to become more disciplined in posting. We'll see how that goes. This is the first week of one job focus and we're off to a great start.


So there's a glimpse of what's to come.  Thanks for being a huge part of this journey and stay tuned to see where we go.

We are about to change the world.

One relationship at a time.

Authentic Faithfulness

This morning I had an epiphany.

Almost everyday in the month of February, my daily bible readings mostly from Psalms referenced God's faithfulness. Because February was a particularly challenging month - I was reading that to be an affirmation of God's faithfulness to me. Without question, that is 100% true - God has been tremendously faithful to me especially last month.

March is 13 days old and has been a mixed bag with many references to faithfulness in my daily studies. Today, once again I had a reference to faithfulness in John 16:33 and I don't want to freak anyone out but this is the truth:

Minutes after reading the verse when I was doing my daily voting for my Pepsi Refresh Project and posting to ask my Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter crew to vote - I started reading some of the comments from my friends who are cheering me on. Everyday that I post the link on my Facebook account or Tweet to my Twitter Tweeps - I am just humbled by the RTs (re-tweets) and the comments from the FAITHFUL friends who are voting everyday and keeping me in the running for this grant.

I would swear that God literally spoke to me and said "Denise - you know of my faithfulness to you - you've experienced it many times. What I am showing you now is the faithfulness of others."

Guys, the faithfulness I am currently experiencing from my friends and friends of friends -the daily voters, commenters and re-tweeting buddies is a foreshadowing of what the relational wellness movement is going to do for our world.

Quite honestly, that's part of what's missing anymore in relationships - faithfulness to each other, day-in and day-out. I am experiencing a taste of this now on the road securing my grant.

Thank you friends, friends of friends and strangers for your authentic faithfulness to me.

Authentic Refinement

See the piece of silver in the middle of the hot coals....

No doubt it will become a brilliant beautiful piece of jewelry in due time.

I can't imagine reaching in there and pulling it out before it is ready. I am certain the blacksmith in charge is close by monitoring its progress and waiting for the precise moment to pull it out to reveal it's best beauty.

I love silver. You can find me wearing a piece every single day. But I digress.

Tomorrow begins the third month of the great year 2010.

I got to be honest with you - February was brutal. The weather. The climate at my main job. My intense drive that, at times, disrupted our family rhythm.

With 1/6 of the year gone, I could not be happier. Bring on the restoration and renewal that is promised with the month of March.

However, great things were birthed from this brutal month we say goodbye to at midnight...

For one - my idea, RelationshipsMatterNow.com - a digital home for relational wellness where we will teach people to pro-actively take care of relationships in their lives, has held it's own in the Pepsi Refresh Everything Project voting. Out of a total 729 ideas - I have remained in the top ten health ideas for my $5,000 funding category throughout the voting period. As of right now - I am in fourth place for health ideas in that category and 27th overall in the $5k competition. That is incredible. I am proud and excited all at once. According to Pepsi Refresh Official Rules - the top 100 ideas that do not get funded in February roll over to March. That is great news and I am poised to keep my idea in the running for funding next month.

Two - an announcement tomorrow will solidify me as a leading marketing specialist in an area that is near and dear to my heart - the protection of Mother Earth. It is not often that you take part in something special at one company but to be able to take part in something special, at two separate companies in two different industries (manufacturing and retail) at two different eras in your career is well... remarkable.

It is very easy for us to focus on what didn't go well at any given time. Tonight, I am reflecting on the month of February that had me exercising diplomatic muscles I had no idea I had; a month that has presented obstacles that stretched my impatient pace into patience to go the extra five miles and converted my passion for "all things right" into a "hands in the air" surrender of all outcomes.

It is with great anticipation that I look to rest of the year. While February has kicked my butt several times and in several fashions - it has also honed me, shaped me and readied me for the next phase.

It is often stated that a blacksmith knows exactly how much time to hold his/her silver in the fire before it shines to its fullest. The process is known as refining. As a lover of silver - I don't question the blacksmith - I know that he/she has it covered. I just have to wait until its ready.

Just as I trust the blacksmith with silver - I trust my Maker with my life and my desires. If He decides that March will be similar to February - so be it- much was accomplished in the winter barren month of February. Like the silver in the picture above - I don't want to MESS with what is going on in my life and in my heart now as I press on toward my goals and objectives for 2010.

Real Life Black History in the Making.

Last Sunday Feb 7, I accepted an invitation to speak at St. James AME in Elgin to kick-off their Black History Month Celebration with a message on Community Advocacy. If I'm honest, it was a casual acceptance based on the fact that I sat next to Dr. Laveta Small at a community leader focus group back in December at Elgin Community College.

We were kindred spirits that night - practically finishing each other's sentences towards the end of the forum, even though we were a generation apart. We connected and vowed to keep in touch but as usual - life gets in the way and almost 7 weeks passed by before we would speak again. Of course, I would speak for Dr. Small. Not a question.

As part of the BHM celebrations - the church was honoring their seniors and hosting a guest speaker each week. I prepared a thoughtful 15 minute talk about how I approach Community Advocacy through my political career as an elected official. I did some online recognizance on the church and was impressed with its 129 year history in Elgin.

Nothing, however, prepared me for the experience I encountered upon entering the church that morning.

Upon entering this tiny church on the east side of Elgin, almost to Rt. 59, I was immediately overwhelmed by the warmth and wisdom of the people inside. The display in the lobby was a basic archive of Black History for our country and for the Elgin area. Then I saw the program for the day and realized - that I was THE speaker, the sermon, the MESSAGE. Before that moment, I was thinking I was just a speaker for the day and not necessarily delivering the message in place of the pastor - Reverend Francis Senyah, who I also met briefly at the ECC event. This terrified me. The sense of responsibility almost swallowed me up right there. Then, I glanced down at my prepared words... a calm overcame me. Instantly.

You see, I was speaking about how I use the lens of Micah 6:8 in all my political dealings. Paraphrased the best way to remember Micah 6:8 is this...

Act Justly, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly.

As I sat and listened to them talk about the heroes and s'heroes of their church - some of whom had been members for over 70 years. I was so humbled. Then Dr. Small introduced me and it really hit me. In my corner of the world, I am Black History in the making. I don't say that with any airs - I say it because it's true.

Right now, the movement that I am leading in our country (perhaps the world) on relational wellness and relational health will change the lives of many. As I spoke to this audience and literally declared to them that they will see me and this cause in the national health care debate really soon - it was as clear that what I am doing is so much bigger than me. By putting the word out there in the small church in Elgin - I started the public discourse on my desire, to enable all people to pro-actively care for the relationships in their lives.

At the end of the service as I shook hands with every person in attendance that day, I felt an enormous transfer of wisdom and leadership from these stalwarts of the community. Many of these people were pioneers in the Northwest Suburbs and members of families that were among the first blacks to settle in this area. Each one looked me in the eye and encouraged me in my movement. Every ounce of the strength and courage from the battles won before were transferred to me for the battle ahead.

While each person told me about how much I touched them - I was without words for what they had done for me. Even 10 days later, I have trouble pinpointing all the positive ways that experience at St. James AME has changed me.

Dr. Small said something the night we were at ECC to the effect that "we were not trying to make history then (upon describing her experience as the only black child in her elementary school in Elgin in the 1950s), we were just doing what we knew was right."

I know exactly what she means.

Authentically Good Idea - Vote Now!

Hard to believe that one year ago, I was asking the people of Lake in the Hills to vote for me to join the Village Board of Trustees. They heard, voted and I now represent them. Something tells me this time around it will be just a tad bit harder - but not impossible!

Voting opened at midnight at www.refresheverything.com for the Pepsi Refresh Everything Project where Pepsi will award grants of $5 - 250K to bring ideas to life across six areas, health, arts and culture, food and shelter, the planet, neighborhoods and education. Click here to vote for my project.

You've heard me ranting lately about my idea to start a movement to change the way we look at relationships; to enable all people to be relationally healthy. Well - the time has come for your help. My idea - RELATIONSHIPS MATTER NOW is up for vote in the health category and we need to end up in the top ten to secure the $5K grant by the end of February.

WHY SHOULD I VOTE FOR RELATIONSHIPS MATTER NOW?

Great question, it's simple. We live on this planet interdependent on others. From a brief transactional relationship at the coffee counter to our co-workers where ever we choose to lend out talent to our deep and personal relationships, we all interact and co-habit this planet with others. And from the looks of the way we deal with one another (think current political climate, divorce rates, verbal intimidation in the workplace) - it is time for a change.

Relationships Matter Now will exist (with or without the Pepsi grant) to help people take proactive care of their relationships. We will raise visibility to the need for relational wellness in every one's life. Relational wellness is taking responsibility to proactively care for all relationships in your life. It's a two-fold proposition:

1. Self-awareness - we all need a true understanding of our own relational issues and needs.

2. Relationship skills - we all need to build the skills necessary to function in healthy relationships.

Out of the gate - we want to build the web home for Relationships Matter Now and get 50,000 people to pledge to work on their relationships. Over the next week you will be directed to a new blog to support this effort and it will live at RelationshipsMatterNow.com. I've got an awesome designer working on a logo and we are getting the pledge document created as we speak.

Clearly with the help from Pepsi - we can get this going sooner rather than later. Long term, Relational Wellness will be in the health care debate - it's not just about reactionary care - proactive care is critical - from all angles - physical, mental, spiritual and now, relational. There is a personal responsibility to this as well as a corporate one. Relationships Matter Now will lead this movement and we need your help.

Join me and vote for this idea to get one of the first Pepsi Refresh Everything Grants. Voting started at midnight and goes until February 28. Winners will be announced on March 1.

2010 Objectives

For those who need a reminder or are just joining my journey, here's my explanation of why I have objectives vs. resolutions. Last year, I accomplished 55% or 5 of my 9 2009 objectives. I count accomplishment only on the objectives that were completed 100%.

That said... here goes the 2010 list:

1. Partake in monthly manicures for Emma and I -at a salon. It is officially a line item in the family budget so it is going to happen.

2. Book FIVE regional/national speaking engagements. This one is going to be tough. Last year, I wanted to book one and it finally happened at the very end of Q3. There are a few things I have going for me this year, one, I've enlisted help in booking gigs. I have also narrowed my scope to either partnership marketing or motivational/personal branding/give your dreams some love talks. Last year, I had no prepared presentations or any leads on events. This year, I am further down that road. I even bought 5 extra vacation days to make sure I can accommodate this and my normal vacation.

3. Participate in Quarterly marriage enrichment activities with my husband, Isael. We had a blast in 2009 but did not come close to the monthly date nights. Now this year we do have some help with babysitting, but I just don't see it happening every month so I am committing to Qtrly activities, that hopefully involved 24 consecutive hours of just us. We did do that twice in 2009 so I am confident we can lick this one.

4. Experiment with color on my groovy afro. This one is huge for me. Been saying it since I went natural in August of 2008 and have not put one drop of color in my hair. I need to muster up the courage and a great colorist (who's down with my do) in the NW burbs of Chicago. Any suggestions are welcome.

5. Self-publish a book on Relational Wellness, my life's passion. Relational Wellness is loosely defined as proactive care for all relationships in one's life. I plan to tackle this issue with a vengeance in 2010. You will most definitely see more on this topic throughout this year. When I say self-publish - I plan to use Lulu.com and want all my friends and connections to buy the book when it is finished :)

6. Teach my kids to ride their bikes. Actually, first buy them new bikes. Yeah, I know. Both Emma and Evan need bikes again. This was on the list last year and we failed miserably. This time - I will be doing this as soon as it thaws. Even if it is just a few minutes during the week, with more extensive lessons on the weekend - the Barreto kids will be riding bikes independently by July 4, 2010.

7. Book and keep a bi-annual overnight GNO with some of my girls. You know who you are and I'm coming for you. It will be a mixed group of my girls through the years but I am doing it. We will start small and local but this will be a bi-annual ritual to keep up with my friends! I want to look back when I'm 89 and write books about our great GNOs.

8. Read and review one business book a quarter. Last year, I reviewed one - Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and am in the process of reviewing the new book by "Made to Stick" authors, Chip and Dan Heath. I need to identify three more and get them reviewed for publication on a blog or magazine website.

9. Village of Lake in the Hills Trustee objective see here for details.

There you have it, the Denise Wilmer Barreto Objectives for 2010.

I need to boogie and get started. Tune in for the quarterly updates!