Makeover Your Valentine's Day

We've all been inundated with hearts, pink lace and imagery focused on Valentine's Day since the dawn of this new year.  It can be easy to get swept up in the hype or cocoon away until it's all over. As we barrel down on Valentine's Day 2014, may I give a few suggestions on how to celebrate this commemoration of love.

Call someone you love that you don't talk to often

Send someone a handwritten note - get it in mail today

Do something you've wanted to do for yourself  - this week

Buy a set of kid's valentines and hand them out on Friday wherever you go

Hand make valentines for those closest to you instead of buying them this year

Make a list of all the things you love about your life and nurture them

Start a new tradition for Valentine's Day - solo or with others


Did you notice anything about the above list?

Love, in my opinion is active and all my suggestions encourage you to act out your love. It is very easy to say we love someone but showing it can be the tricky part. And this is especially true for expressing our love for ourselves. In order to give any love, to anyone, we must be adept at demonstrating our love for ourselves. The people around us take cues on how to love us by the way we love ourselves. Depending on your relationship with love, Valentine's Day can be a complicated or downright painful experience. We think if you take intentional steps to change the way you view and celebrate this day, you can make it enjoyable regardless your relationship status.

In our house, we celebrate our love for one another every February with a special Valentine's dinner and cap the evening with our own hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries - we started this tradition when my oldest child was 3 years old and have kept it going strong for the last 9 years. Even if we have to celebrate it on a different day due to travel or move the celebration to a restaurant. Some years we exchange gifts, most years we do not. It is a given that we celebrate.

When I was single, it was only slightly different. I made a point to have dinner with a single friend and go to a movie every Valentine's Day. Some years it was a guy friend, other years it was girlfriends but I never stayed home alone on Valentine's Day. I did the kid valentine suggestion every year. It was so fun to see the face of the bank teller or the cashier at my regular lunch spot when I handed them a valentine and wished them a grand day. It was also a way to mend fences with folks at work I may have rubbed the wrong way - nothing cures ill feelings more than a Charlie Brown valentine attached to a dum-dum sucker. Even year's when I felt anxious or sad and believe me there were a few, I always made myself keep the traditions.

Valentine's Day, much like our lives in general, is what we make it.

Take time this year to change your relationship with Valentine's Day.

Me! Me! Me! January is All About Me!

Every January, people all over the world come out of their holiday, year end festivity comas to self-reflect.

Like clockwork, all the imagery is about improving ourselves, we are encouraged to "turn over a new leaf" and get "back in shape!"

That is all fine except one thing. Self-reflecting, self-nurturing, taking stock should not be an annual ritual. It should not be a novelty that follows a time when we are universally encouraged to think more of others. Isn't brilliant marketing to quickly shift from the holidays when we think almost exclusively of others to focusing solely on ourselves - and especially our appearance? Brilliant and toxic - all at once. We are much more than how we look. We are spiritual beings and taking time to spend time thinking about and nurturing ourselves should not be annual pass time. We need to make self-reflection a regular pass time. Here are the reasons why:

What We Think About, We Care About

Have you ever noticed where you spend your time? It is super, no make that uber important to be mindful of how we spend our time.  Where we spend our time and energy reflects what important to us. Now, if you spend almost no time thinking about yourself, your actions, your needs - how likely do you believe it is that you will be able to move the needle in your life.  We have to give ourselves time and space to think about us - think all about me. What I love? What I hate? Where do I want to be someday? What am I doing to get there? We must think of ourselves and this is especially true for moms who tend to be among the most selfless folks on the planet. Thinking of and caring for yourself is not selfish, it is essential - especially if you intend to care for others.

Caring For Ourselves Makes Us Care Better For Others

This is a fact. I remember early in my motherhood, I had a martyr like view of being a mom. "If I can do everything for Emma, show her how much I love her, all will be well," was the chief deception I held in the early days. This was also present within my marriage. "I will do anything to show Isael that I appreciate him, his family,  his culture so he knows I love him," was the place I operated from. Then the demands of a second child arrived with sweet Evan and work pressures pressed in and one day I noticed how I'd skip a hair appointment or not make time for myself on a regular basis.  I got a glance of myself in the mirror and I was a hot mess. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked liked hell and felt worse. What did I have to give to my sweet young family? Nothing and I stopped that practice in its tracks.  Today, I am stingy about daily quiet time in the morning. I make time to run weekly. Monthly I get a manicure. I feel fantastic and that flows over into my roles as a wife and mom. I care for myself so THAT I can care for others.

I challenge you in the new year to take time for you every day remembering how it will help you and those you do life with. Taking time only once a year to reflect and focus on you is not nearly enough. If the daily ask is too big of a stretch, then I say start with "monthly me times".  Pick a time each month to think and do just for you. Then graduate up to weekly so that by the end of this year you can make your self-reflection and self-nurturing a daily habit.

Come back to our blog throughout this year and we'll give you encouragement in this task often. 

You are worth it!