The Power of The Surrender

The white flag is not so bad in many situations

As a person who does not shrink from conflict nor passes up a fight, my whole psyche around the word surrender was so skewed.

Surrender was not a part of my vocabulary. The very thought of surrender takes me back to my childhood days of watching Tom and Jerry cartoons when after 10 straight minutes of abuse, Tom would wave that flag from around some corner signifying he was "done." Jerry had won. 

That imagery was my only frame of reference for the word surrender until a few years ago.  During one of my first Bio Energetic Synchronization Techniques (B. E. S. T.) sessions, I was enlightened to understand surrender a different way.  Looking at dictionary definitions only reinforced my resistance to surrender in the way that is truly healthy and life affirming. Then I found this definition online:

Surrender: To give yourself up to a new emotion or course or influence.

That definition captures beautifully the true power of surrender. For type A, Eneagram Type 8 or ENFJs like myself, it is the only way to look at surrender. Here are two ways I have converted surrender into a powerful life tool for me.

Better Energy Management

Surrendering has enabled me to better manage my energy. Without question, one of my biggest assets as a person is my high powered, influential and positive energy. I get so much done when I direct my energy well.  Over the last 3 years as I learned to surrender outcomes - specifically not being married to the "how" something comes about, I have been able to focus my energy in ways that are too numerous to list. The best area I've learned this has been in my relationships. Surrendering outcomes with people has benefited me the most and enabled me to focus my best energies on being with and enjoying the people I choose to do life and business with daily. Additionally, as a entrepreneur, it has benefited my bottom line. My prospecting and sales process has been transformed. Focusing my energy on what I do best and telling that story well consistently, has fueled my young business's growth. All my new energy management efficiencies can be attributed to my ability to surrender.

Broadened Possibilities 

With my energy free from resistance, I see bigger and better possibilities for almost all situations that come my way. Good or bad. Personal or professional. The power of surrender has enabled me to broaden my perspective on everything in every way. For example, more than a year ago, I made a decision for myself. I shared it with my husband and he was not too keen on it. Instead of focusing energy on convincing him, I gently withdrew the subject from our airspace and focused on my part of the decision. I focused my energy on bringing it about and let go of the specifics. Fast forward to now, not only are we moving in the direction I originally desired, but my entire family including my husband are all excited about the new possibilities that await us. Further, we have not been shaken by the unfortunate set of circumstances that have enabled the change of direction. We can all see how every bit of this transition has purpose for each one of us.  Without releasing my narrow view of surrender, I am certain this would not be possible.

Today, I challenge you to look at ways you may employ surrender - the way I have defined it above - in your life. Are there areas of your work life that need surrendering? Could a personal relationship of yours use some surrendering powers?

Wherever you find yourself running into similar circumstances with familiar results - take a moment to look at ways where you may surrender and take back your energy and broaden the possibilities.

6 Hours In A County Fair Booth Made Me Unstoppable

Not sure what it is but I've always loved the county fair. Or any fair for that matter. Roasted sweet corn. Hot sugary funnel cakes. The noise. The crowd. Animal smells.

Yeah. Love that.

This year, I woke up after my visit to the county fair feeling something different.

Unstoppable.

For the past two years, I've volunteered at the Democrats of McHenry County booth at the McHenry County Fair. And you may ask, "Why in the world do you feel 'unstoppable' after that?"

Well, it's simple.

Have you ever stood as a volunteer in a booth, at public event where you see people's disposition physically change as they spot you?

Have you ever had someone snatch their kid's hand away from a basket of candy you were holding out?

Have you ever seen someone almost break their own neck not to make eye contact with you?

Have you repeatedly been told "no"? Even before you stated anything?

Have you ever been called a baby killer to your face?

Have you ever had people argue with you unilaterally even when you were not arguing with them?

Well all that and more happened on my 5 hour shift in the Democrats booth at the county fair last week.  Now, to be fair (no pun intended),  our county is reasonably split - 45% of registered voters are Republican, 38% Democrat and the rest are Independent.  On paper, we should not be so outnumbered but the perception about our county is that it is overwhelmingly Republican.  And the behavior of most of the people I encountered last week would reflect that perception. You may be thinking - "what in world were you saying to those people?"

97 days until the election.

Know you have a choice in McHenry County.

Absolute power corrupts.

People who run unopposed do not work as hard.

That's it. I wasn't pushing anything or anyone. I was simply reminding people what a democracy looks like and yet I was met with some very vocal and non-vocal rejection.

And I love it!

Here's why:

I am in the arena.

I care about something.

I'm proud to stand by what I care about.

I'm stronger for looking people in the eye and owning what I believe.

Guys, I am not advocating that you go stand in a political booth. That is only for the sheer lions of this world, like myself. But what are you waiting for to stand up and get involved? Get out there and get in an ARENA, TODAY!

What do you care about most?

Education? Support a PTA/PTO. Go to school board meeting.

Economic growth? Get to a local municipal meeting. Question your officials.

Elderly care? Volunteer at a nursing home or assisted living facility.

Literacy? Join your local library "Friends" organization or run for library board.

Women's Issues? Call your local YWCA and get involved.

Whatever the cause, there is an arena waiting for its warriors. Every voice counts. All people matter. Stop buying into the belief that you cannot make a difference.

For every 5 rude and fearful people I encountered last week, there was one who silently walked by with the thumbs up. For every 5 people who stopped to tell me I was not welcomed or wanted in this county, there was one who stopped and thanked me for being there.


One man with courage is a majority - Thomas Jefferson

It's not rocket science. It's part of the human experience. And because of my time in that booth last week - I recognize my power as an individual contributor to this great nation.

When will you recognize yours?