3 Benefits Of Relaxing Completely

Last week, I did something I have not done much since I ventured out on my own to run Relationships Matter Now, LLC. I completely relaxed on the island of Jamaica to end my favorite month of every year.

Like many other entrepreneurs, I am wound pretty tight and uber focused on my growing my business. Not many days go by that I am not thinking about, working on, networking for or otherwise moving my tiny but mighty business forward. It is a daunting task to completely relax for me.

As an entrepreneur, this is the toughest part of our jobs. Unplugging and spending focused time relaxing. While I have not done it much in the last 2 years my company has been my full-time gig, I can honestly say I relaxed and did it well last week

FreeDictionary.com defines relax this way:

1. To take one's ease; rest.

2. To become lax or loose.

3. To become less severe or strict.

4. To become less restrained or tense.

5. To reduce in intensity; slacken:

While it was very difficult to do, I recommend anyone do it from time to time and here's three reasons why...

Fresh Perspective

One can never have too much perspective in my humble opinion. Removing yourself completely from your environment is a great way to gain perspective you need on your own life and situation. Being on the island, with nowhere to be at no specific time was also a completely different perspective for me. It helped me to see just how much work I cram in daily and in every crevice of almost every day. I most certainly will find ways to steal away for rest thanks to the perspective I gained on this trip. I also found myself reflecting on different things while away from work. Reflecting on my life as a wife and mom more than I have in a long time. I also had time to devour the latest Malcolm Gladwell book which challenged me in a number of ways. My closest relationships will benefit tremendously from my newly gained perspective while in paradise.

True Rest

Our bodies and minds need rest. I am a stickler for getting 8-9 hours of sleep nightly but clearly I stink at resting myself well in other ways.  Nothing was more telling than my outright mind and body release the second day on the island. I could barely move. It was great to not have to. Rest or respite (my preferred word) is needed on a much more grander scale than my insistence on nightly sleep. We need to take a break from our regular routines. We need to sleep more than we normally do. We need to break away from our normal thought patterns. We need to disrupt our habits. We need to stop. Stop and just be. It is really tough to do but really rewarding when we do it.  

New Energy

What I'm feeling in the post vacation after glow is not an island hangover. I am feeling a burst of new energy. New energy around my life  and every role I have.  Ideas on how to apply some of the knowledge I gained from doing nothing for those few days are just one of the welcomed side effects of the full relaxation exercise. I have no tension at all in my body and so my sleep last night was amazing. It's like I got a new, clean slate to start with this day. As I was making my "To Do" list, there was an added sense of urgency for every item that made the list. I have no meetings on deck and I'm sure that is a God send since I am amped up full of ideas and energy for my work.

It's been some time since I completely relaxed like I did last week. I can't even remember the last time but I know it was well before I started my business or even the journey to my business over 5 years ago.  I was way overdue and will challenge myself to find mini-respites to experience the tremendous upsides of total relaxation more often. You'd be wise to join me.

Authentic Tipping Point #1

With less than three weeks left in the voting - my PepsiRefresh idea is hanging in the FUNDING ZONE (top ten ideas for my $5K funding category) and bringing Relationships Matter Now a step closer to reality.

Yesterday was the first "tipping point" moment in this journey to bring my life's work alive. I spent the entire day making plans, gathering resources and moving things into place to jump start Relationships Matter Now should I get the Pepsi funds in early April.

I actually lost my breath last night while recapping the day for my husband.

Tipping Point has three distinct meanings:

• Tipping point (physics), the point at which an object is displaced from a state of stable equilibrium into a new, different state
• Tipping point (sociology), the event in which a previously rare phenomenon becomes dramatically more common
• Tipping point (climatology), the point in which global climate changes irreversibly from one state to a new state

Malcolm Gladwell (one of my favorite writers) wrote about the social phenomenon of Tipping Point in his 2002 NY Times bestselling book - The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.

Tune in...

We all know $5k is not a lot of money.

Stay tuned to see how "a little thing can make a big difference."

2010 Objectives

For those who need a reminder or are just joining my journey, here's my explanation of why I have objectives vs. resolutions. Last year, I accomplished 55% or 5 of my 9 2009 objectives. I count accomplishment only on the objectives that were completed 100%.

That said... here goes the 2010 list:

1. Partake in monthly manicures for Emma and I -at a salon. It is officially a line item in the family budget so it is going to happen.

2. Book FIVE regional/national speaking engagements. This one is going to be tough. Last year, I wanted to book one and it finally happened at the very end of Q3. There are a few things I have going for me this year, one, I've enlisted help in booking gigs. I have also narrowed my scope to either partnership marketing or motivational/personal branding/give your dreams some love talks. Last year, I had no prepared presentations or any leads on events. This year, I am further down that road. I even bought 5 extra vacation days to make sure I can accommodate this and my normal vacation.

3. Participate in Quarterly marriage enrichment activities with my husband, Isael. We had a blast in 2009 but did not come close to the monthly date nights. Now this year we do have some help with babysitting, but I just don't see it happening every month so I am committing to Qtrly activities, that hopefully involved 24 consecutive hours of just us. We did do that twice in 2009 so I am confident we can lick this one.

4. Experiment with color on my groovy afro. This one is huge for me. Been saying it since I went natural in August of 2008 and have not put one drop of color in my hair. I need to muster up the courage and a great colorist (who's down with my do) in the NW burbs of Chicago. Any suggestions are welcome.

5. Self-publish a book on Relational Wellness, my life's passion. Relational Wellness is loosely defined as proactive care for all relationships in one's life. I plan to tackle this issue with a vengeance in 2010. You will most definitely see more on this topic throughout this year. When I say self-publish - I plan to use Lulu.com and want all my friends and connections to buy the book when it is finished :)

6. Teach my kids to ride their bikes. Actually, first buy them new bikes. Yeah, I know. Both Emma and Evan need bikes again. This was on the list last year and we failed miserably. This time - I will be doing this as soon as it thaws. Even if it is just a few minutes during the week, with more extensive lessons on the weekend - the Barreto kids will be riding bikes independently by July 4, 2010.

7. Book and keep a bi-annual overnight GNO with some of my girls. You know who you are and I'm coming for you. It will be a mixed group of my girls through the years but I am doing it. We will start small and local but this will be a bi-annual ritual to keep up with my friends! I want to look back when I'm 89 and write books about our great GNOs.

8. Read and review one business book a quarter. Last year, I reviewed one - Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and am in the process of reviewing the new book by "Made to Stick" authors, Chip and Dan Heath. I need to identify three more and get them reviewed for publication on a blog or magazine website.

9. Village of Lake in the Hills Trustee objective see here for details.

There you have it, the Denise Wilmer Barreto Objectives for 2010.

I need to boogie and get started. Tune in for the quarterly updates!

Authentic Endorsement - Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcom Gladwell

I spent a great part of my recent vacation to Mexico completely absorbed in the latest work of one of my favorite authors.

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell is an excellent read and I suggest that anyone who is interested in success read this book.

I do not say that to say that if you read it, you will be successful - it is just a great look at all the factors that contribute to success that are not always apparent in the sound-bite society we live in today. It had me on my toes the entire 320 pages.

Interestingly - it challenged me to look at my life and the many "breaks" and "opportunities" that I had (and continue to have) that contribute to my success.

It is a very sensitive topic to deep dive into here without possibly hurting others but I can't get my mind off all the seemingly little differences that have been there for me and not others.

Yes - I am a type-A, choleric, extrovert blah, blah blah. Basically - I am self-motivated and very little stands in my way when I want something.

Yes - I believe it working smart vs. working hard

In the book - Malcolm Gladwell asserts that whatever cliches we seek to attach to our success - there are outside factors that contribute heavily to whether or not we are successful. He says - yes - there are brilliant people but even for all their brilliance there are a series of variables that also impact their ability to "make it."

I agree wholeheartedly and this book has only kindled my fire for my current journey. Why?

The current climate we live in is completely self-serving. People are not really concerned with others unless it somehow benefits them also. There is a lack of community in our country and in our world right now.

The idea of genuinely caring and putting yourself out there for the benefit of others is such a foreign concept. I am certain that my ideas, which all center around uplifting others - especially young people, will catch hold. The time is now and in classic marketing style - I will seize the moment to continue to tell my story and expand my reach and influence and I know that many will benefit.

Many already have.

The one absent thought in the book was faith - which is a huge centering beacon for me. Without it, I would be lost, bitter and possible not here to share. My faith in and relationship with Christ is the rock from which I draw my motivation. Yes - I am all those things I stated above but only because He made me that way. And for that I am grateful, every day, every minute.

I agree with Malcolm on all points and hope you will read the book and come and tell me what you think.