3 Ways To Heal Your Heart After This Election

A picture of my heart today

No one is more happy for this day than me.

Politically active pretty much since birth, there was a time when election season was one of my favorites times.

Not so anymore.

The illustration to your right is a reflection of what election season does to my heart nowadays.

Social media and social networks has opened the doors to insights about what people in our circles really think and feel about issues facing our nation.

These revelations have really been heavy on my heart. I took a pledge to not engage in name calling or bickering at the start of season and I don't intend to rehash it now. But I will share what I am doing to heal from Decision 2012

Practice Forgiveness

Despite the hurt feelings or shock and surprise at some of the commentary, postings, rantings- I resolve today to forgive people in my life who have engaged in negative tactics related to the election.  I will not be held captive by my hurt over these things. Forgiveness is something that has to happen. And no, I don't need those people to apologize to extend the forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about them, it's about me. It's about giving myself a new start on the issue and moving forward.                                                                                                 

Acknowledge Friends versus Connections

Ted Rubin, a friend and fellow social networker put it best this week in a post:

Facebook has done an amazing thing – they now own the word “friend”. The problem is that they have devalued the word while adding value to their brand.

To be clear — I am not saying that connecting through Facebook is a bad thing; I’m saying that few of us actually take the time to connect in the ways that a real friend would. We are missing the chance to use social media as a tool that facilitates real relationships and instead using “friends” as points in a popularity contest.

Let’s take the word “Friend” back and fill it with value again!

I could not have said it better myself. I am connected to many on Facebook but not all of them are people I'd call friends. Some are colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors etc etc. But not all those people are friends. What those who are closest to me say and post that is negative impact me, but not as harshly because I know them. I know the heart of the person behind the rhetoric and hurtful things they may post and we have established a RELATIONSHIP that can withstand the disagreement. Even if it's hurtful and disparaging, a relationship allows a safety net to preserve the connection and call each other out to keep the friendship strong through the disagreement. That has allowed me to get to a place of forgiveness quicker. Distinguishing who my true friends are and only having to reconcile their opposing views is much less exhausting than attempting to do that with all 900+ people I'm connected to on Facebook.

Live Your Desire

This final one really reflects the how I started the whole Decision 2012 season - declaring not to participate negatively. We need to be intentional in our actions. With the exception of one Rolling Stone article and my weekly The Onion satirical posts - I did not try and "fact" my connection list to death on my views. People who know me, know what/who I support. And while I have every right to post articles that support that view or candidate, I CHOSE to refrain. Why? Because I wanted to see some different behavior this cycle and what better place to start than my own Twitter stream or Facebook timeline? So many people SAY they want to "stay above the fray" or "take the high road" but could not resist the temptation to jump in and set someone else straight. Resist. Don't fall. Be the change you want to see. Behave the way you desire to behave and do it consistently.

It will be a short recovery for me this election season because I have to get my own petitions in for my spring re-election campaign for Village Lake in the Hills Board of Trustees race by December 24.

Good thing we don't buy TV in local elections.

Zingers, Talking Points, Common Sense: The Complex Relationship America Has With Politics

Gov. Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama after their debate in Denver 10/03/12

I watched the first 2012 Presidential Debate from the comfort of my home without interacting on social media channels on purpose.  I quickly studied my Facebook news feed last night and looked at Twitter and a few websites today to see where everyone's head was on the debate.

It is unanimous - Romney won. Even die hard Obama supporters agree that Governor Mitt Romney performed well and exceeded the expectations of nearly everyone.

Noted.

So why did I entitle this blog the way I did? Precisely today?

Because based on what I saw in my unscientific review - America's undecided voters will once again decide the fate of the next Presidential election.

We are polarized folks - painstakingly so.  Look at your own streams - Romney supporters are giddy- "Romney keeping his pimp hand strong" and Obama supporters sullen - "he needs to stop being Mr. Nice Guy" was what I saw yet not much had changed.

People went into the debate already decided. Except those undecided folks.

It's back to common sense. I blogged on it earlier this week and President Obama attempted to zing Gov. Romney with it in the debate - common sense? Not so common. And based on each individuals experience and frame of reference. Common sense to Obama supporters looks very different from common sense to Romney supporters.

Try as I might - I saw that debate last night from my own lens which is pretty decided for Decision 2012. And while I have a cornucopia of opinions on my stream - they were all pretty much the same. People who support Governor Romney still support him. President Obama supporter, sad but hanging in there with him. There are no undecideds in my crowd.  Nor did I see anyone open to hearing or understanding the other side any more than they were before the debate.

Each battle of words between those two men last night reinforced what you already believe or thought you knew about them. Your own mental talking points were reinforced and strengthened by the interaction that the world was watching between Obama and Romney. Their attempts to have a conversation with the American people as they both have claimed were their goals was really a conversation with the people who have not decided. Neither did much to lure or educate dissenters from either side.

And I'm not sure I feel good about that.

Our "common sense" told us what we wanted to hear last night. And that, my friends solidifies why this election more than any other in US history will be decided by the undecided.

I don't know about you but I'm hoping my common sense wins this November

5 Things I Do To Prevent Social Media Overload

There are days that I am 100% overwhelmed by all the information flowing through my life.

The Twitter feed

The inbox of no less than 3 email accounts

The 30 second news cycle

The Facebook Newsfeed

The LinkedIn updates

How do I keep it all together?  I've made a decision to do 5 Things To Prevent Social Media Overload.

1.   Lunch with people no less than two times a week.

No matter how busy - I make and keep two lunch dates a week. Some business, some pleasure but always away from my desk and with face-to-face contact.

2.   Call instead of email for every 3 interactions with someone.

I like to hear people's voices, even if it's just the machine. All my personal relationships love this. At work, this is especially effective when the email string between us gets unbearable (more than 2 go rounds). I've even noticed a better response from folks when we've actually "talked" before there is a need or request.

3.   Employ a Social Media Embargo time each night

During the hours of 6:00 - 8:00 pm CST, I check out completely and hang with my family. No checking. No iPhone peeking -nothing. It has been a few months and it is so needed. I use HootSuite to make scheduled contact if I need it. Some nights, I don't even check back in.

4.   Schedule GNOs for my mommy posse. Or just date nights with one friend

Sometimes you just need to hang with your girls in person - no catching up on the phone or fake keeping up on Facebook.  It's good to hear the updates over a pink cotton candy martini and 1/2 price appetizers and to belly laugh at life's happenings together.

5.   Read paper magazines

Perhaps this will go the way of the cassette tape with all the iPad, Kindle and other electronic readers; but until it does- I subscribe to O Magazine, INC, Fast Company, Essence and Fortune and love to see them in my mailbox each month.

I continue to pound on the point of Social Media - which in my humble opinion is social (of or relating to human society; the interaction of the individual with the group) and focused on one-to-one relationships. We must take steps to keeping the SOCIAL in our lives.

What Do You Do?

What's Old Is New Again - Yet Another Social Media Rant

"Sometimes people say, 'Here is something new!' But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new"
Ecclesiastes 1:10 New Living Translation Bible

A billboard advertising the A-TEAM movie set to hit theatres this Friday that included the scrumptious Bradley Cooper as Face.

No less than three times a day am I reminded of the old adage "What's Old is New Again."

This is so very true in our 2.0 universe.

Being real. Old.
Building relationships. Old.
Adding value. Old.
Creating connections. Old.
Delight people. Old.
Listening. Old.

Yet, article after article is written on "how to do"  Social Media and it appears that people are missing the point. The 2010 A-Team movie was made to make money - make no mistake. But the other reason it was made in 2010, 23 years after the hit TV series went off the air, is simple: It's a great story. The characters are rich. And there is a whole generation of people who have not been exposed to it.

Same goes for Beverly Hills 90210 or you name the "new" series that's actually old.

So the same goes for Social Media. All the things that companies, organizations, brands - WHATEVER - should be doing off line (see the above list) every day are made easier in our new digital era. The only thing "new" about Social Media is the way it's delivered.