2013: Fearless and Digging Ditches

As 2012 was drawing to to a close, I was desperately looking for a theme and subsequently a "hashtag" for this new year. Last year, the breakout year for Relationships Matter Now, LLC as a full-time venture made the theme and hashtag easy - #2012Rocks.

Even with the year taking off to fast start with a big lucrative project only to come to a complete stop in April (yes barely 90 days later) trickling in very little income regularly again until June, 2012 still rocked. On those most difficult days, I'd look for the lesson and remind myself at the end of most tweets - that  #2012Rocks. It was a great mantra and it kept me going especially on days when fear would creep in and try to convince me otherwise. I would not change one minute of 2012. So finding the right mantra and fit for 2013 was especially important.

Like most social media creatures - I put out cries for help in the usual places, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and got some great feedback but nothing really stuck.

Then it hit me.

New Year's Eve.

I'm celebrating at a party. Lots of live music. Tons of people. Great food. Pure enjoyment. Pure pleasure. Then I glance at Facebook and a friend asked - "What will be your "theme" or goals for 2013?" This friend posted that question after revealing that Simplicity, Security and Dreams would be their family's theme for 2013.  I loved what they'd written and stopped in my tracks to think about mine.

Very little time passed and it came to me in two part harmony... Fearless and Digging Ditches. Right there in the basement in Joliet, I remembered a fantastic talk that closed the first day of the Willowcreek Association 2011 Global Leadership Summit by Steven Furtick entitled Audacious Faith.  Steven is a hot young preacher and I mean preacher not pastor  - google him to see what I mean - from Charlotte NC with one of the fastest growing ministries in the the country. He gave a fantastic but simple talk that came back to me 1 year and 4 months later there in the basement as I closed out 2012.

Humor me for a moment - It's from 2 Kings 3 - synopsis is this  - Elisha the main prophet at that time guiding the Israelites during a drought had some news. Simply put - the people were moaning that they were gonna die, without water and they were vulnerable to their enemies - more so than usual. But God told Elisha that they would all be OK but he needed the Israelites to prepare for the what he was doing by digging ditches. Hungry, thirsty, whiny nation of people needed to start digging ditches. Immediately.

The best part about the story takes place in verse 17 - when he says - "you will see neither wind nor rain, says the Lord, but this valley will be filled with water. You will have plenty for yourselves, your cattle and your other animals. But this is only a simple thing for the Lord...."

Essentially,  the Lord told Elisha that in order to receive what they wanted, needed - they had to do something simple... prepare. Dig the ditches and not worry how it was going to happen but KNOW that it was going to happen.

As an entrepreneur, it has been a bumpy road and cash flow has been nutty. Fear would often cripple me even for a moment.

Am I gonna make enough money?

Will that project happen?

Are they gonna pay my rate?

Will I have to go find a job to have the life I'm used to?

Those questions could ruin a day on a dime if I let them. Going in to 2013, I have so much more runway on work than I had coming into 2012. I've got a published book to build on. More and more of my contacts are aware that I'm doing marketing and strategic planning "for hire." It is now time for me to keep digging the ditches. No fear for what tomorrow brings,  just fearlessness. Reminding myself, that quitting my job to ramp up my "side business" was not a mistake or a passing hobby. It was and continues to be a calling.

I need to keep doing what I'm doing so He can do what he will do...even if I don't see it yet.

I need to move into 2013 being fearless and digging ditches.

#2013Fearless is the hashtag. Join the conversation this year.

How Often Do You Fill Your Leadership Cup?

Anyone who leads anything has a leadership cup. Be it your family, your team at work, the small group at your church or the group of gals you coffee with each morning at the coffee house - you lead in some way, shape or form.

From a pure logic standpoint, your capacity to lead is likened to a cup. You can only pour out what you have inside. Once the cup is empty, it's pretty tough to keep going, effectively.

Today's question is designed to challenge you to fill your cup. For me it is a no brainer. And it's that time of year again.

Every August since 2006, I refill my leadership cup at the annual Global Leadership Summit put on by the Willowcreek Association. It is two full days packed with lots of teachings, interactions and activities designed to strengthen me as a leader. I cannot imagine my year without it. It is not the only leadership cup fill I get every year but it is the most significant. It is a signal to all around me that my personal development is a priority. No calls, no meetings, very little email interaction - 100% focus on growing my leadership capabilities. GLS 2012 is a special year as it marks the first year I'm attending the GLS as my own boss.

It was at my third GLS that the possibility of owning my own business even became a major thought. I've said many times and I highlight it again in my upcoming book, I am an unlikely entrepreneur from a long history of family members who are good at working for others. However, my commitment to growing and filling my leadership cup every year in an intense and intentional way led me to my current place. In between summits, I read voraciously - blogs, books, articles to help me grow. I also speak at and attend several other conferences. I interact regularly with other committed growing leaders. Lots of tactics and lots of time invested in filling my leadership cup.

I find that keeping my cup full increases my capacity to extend myself to those I lead. I cannot function well as a leader without my cup full.  Everyone is different. For me, full = ready. Ready to lead. Ready to jump on opportunities. Ready to be more compassionate to those around me. Ready to do what I was designed to do - revolutionize relationships on planet Earth.

What about you?

How often do you fill your leadership cup?

What are your tactics for keeping it full?

Two Of My Favorite Days Of Every Year

Water. 

Life-giving.

Refreshing.

Nourishing

Thirst quenching.

Sustaining.

My drink of choice any day. Water is what I thought of this day as I look ahead at my upcoming week. Because later this week, I will participate in two of my favorite days of every year - the Willowcreek Association Global Leadership Summit.

As a leader, these are two of the most important days for me every year because they represent all those traits I wrote about my favorite drink above. I'll elaborate on the three most important.

Life-Giving

My walk as a leader gets weary at times. Things happen. Things DON'T happen. And many days, I feel as though my very life is being sucked away from me. Time at the the WCA GLS is like a life line and it always comes on time. I am certain that minute one, day one - I will be injected with insights and learnings that will literally bring me "back to life."

Nourishing

Dictionary definition of nourish is "to provide with substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition." The growth, health and good condition of a leader constantly needs attention. And throughout the year, I do many things to contribute to that. I read. I attend workshops. I work with business coaches and advisers. But every year since 2006, the WCA GLS has served as annual super injection of nutrition. This year will be no different. 

Sustaining

This one is the most important for me personally. It is always easy to get inspired when locked away from your real life for two days with leaders from around the globe. It is a slam dunk to be motivated by the likes of Harvey Carey, Patrick Lencioni, Bono, Jim Collins, Carly Fiorina, TD Jakes and Gary Hamel - not to name drop - teaching you in an incredible setting. What's tough is taking those learnings home with you and applying them.  Which is what makes the WCA GLS work for me. There are tons of resources distributed leading up to, throughout and after the conference. Not a year has gone by that I have not referenced past conference notes or principles. Last year, I started distributing my notes to a small group of folks who have been interested in attending. I even found myself carrying materials around for months after the conference. And this year, I am excited to bring one of my business partners as a guest.

So I will work super hard Monday - Wednesday and do my best to get a good night's sleep on Wednesday night because come Thursday,  

It's on.

Learn more about WCA Global Leadership Summit here.

Relationships Matter Now

Last week, I attended the Global Leadership Summit hosted by the Willowcreek Association (WCA). Almost 7 days later,  I am still processing all I learned.

Thanks to WCA and TimSchraeder.com you can find summaries at this link.

While all the talks were fantastic,  my personal favorites (with the leaders) were:

Opening Session - "Leaders move people from HERE to THERE" - Bill Hybels
"The Upside of Tension" - Andy Stanley
"What Motivates Us: Not What You Think" - Daniel Pink
The Leader to Leader Video Interview with Jack Welch

Please go check out the summaries to see why.

However, I came away with much more than inspiration, hope and fuel for my leadership (and entrepreneurial) engine. I came away CONVINCED that my path, my life's work, Relationships Matter Now will be a key ingredient to progress on our planet.

3 reasons.

1. Anything good in life start's with a conversation - Daniel Pink

The backbone of the Relationships Matter Now movement is leading the conversation on strengthening relationships. Every day, on our Facebook page, my Twitter stream and soon, on our website - we are talking with folks about how to better their relationships.

2. Every speaker, which included Super Bowl Winning Coach Tony Dungy and dynamite Australian evangelist and fighter of global human trafficking Christine Caine, mentioned relationships in their talks. Some multiple times.

Relationships are critical to anything we want to accomplish in life. Be it as light as to win a championship game or deeply moving as stop human trafficking - we must build and grow our relationships to progress on our planet.

3. The "someone" is me and the time is now.

Will you join me?

Authentic Endorsement 2 - Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

This is most likely my most anticipated post of the year so far.

You see, I've had the pre-release galley (yeah - even love the terminology) of this book since September. It clearly states on the cover, "Please Do Not Quote, Blog or Review until January 1, 2010"

I have been exercising TREMENDOUS self-control to keep it under raps so long. I read it once back then and read it again over the last month in prep for this post.

First of all, I have to say that I was not super familiar with Chip and Dan Heath before I saw them at the Leadership Summit (hosted by the Willowcreek Association) 2009 last August. As a marketer, I'd heard about their bestseller "Made to Stick" but had never gotten around to reading it. Their session at the Summit was so good, entitled "Switch" and captivated me from start to finish, even as a right after lunch offering.

From the first page - I was hooked on this practical guide on what fuels change in many different situations. Since I am personally embarking on a change mission - this was like a one-on-one lesson for me designed precisely for this point in my life. The concepts that the Heath brothers teach are as intuitive as they are easy to explain and grasp. The connection between our emotional selves (Elephant) our rational selves (Rider) and harnessing them to reach a common goal is clearly something we all can relate to - no matter what we are attempting to change. The piece that I'd never seen expressed so clearly before which is, quite frankly the best part of the equation that the Heath brothers observed and teach about - the concept of the Path.

As a change agent by DNA - this resonated with me instantly. I could easily look back over the course of my life and all the change I'd led and could see where I'd "motivated the Elephant," "directed the Rider" while simultaneously "shaping the Path" to the change . Over and over in this book, you read about clear opportunities for change and each situation had the same three pieces of the equation working regardless of budget, timing or who was leading the change. That's powerful.

My favorite story of change was one I'd heard them share at the Summit and was in Chapter 2 of the book - the story of Jerry Sternin who worked for Save the Children in Vietnam in 1990. In an effort to understand and fight malnutrition in Vietnam, Jerry did a very basic yet often missed technique to impart change - he found a bright spot and capitalized on it. With little to no budget to help fight malnutrition and no Vietnamese language skills - Jerry observed how some children in one remote village were healthier than others. Most all Vietnamese families in this village had the same amount and type of food to eat - rice, shrimp, crab. Most fed their kids two times a day. The "conventional wisdom" among this group was that shrimp and crab were for adults and not really "appropriate" for kids. Additionally, there were sweet potato greens available but they were considered "low class" food.

When Jerry observed how the healthier kids were fed versus the others - he found a clear bright spot. The mothers whose kids were healthier - served their kids four meals a day (using the same amount of food as the other moms just rationing it differently). They also added tiny shrimp, crab and sweet potato greens to each serving. Sternin was amazed and right away had an answer to fighting malnutrition by enabling these model families to teach the others how to help their fellow villagers. There is so much more to this story - you'll have to read it but think about change in your own life for a minute... How often do we concentrate on wanting to change what's not right vs building on what is? Heck - we struggle to even ACKNOWLEDGE the good in most situations. This is just one of many practical applications that you will find throughout the 296 page book.

Most people will devour this in one sitting. As a working mom with many outside interests it took me a few weeks but it is written so well that either way - you will learn and retain the concepts and start applying them immediately.

The book will be on shelves on Feb 16, 2010 and I know at least Dan is doing a book tour to promote it - I am trying to work out seeing him when he breezes thru Chicago this spring. Go get this book. Even if the only change you are considering is personal. I am certain you will be "changed" after you read it.