I Am Mandela. You Are Mandela.

As I stepped off the plane from a quick trip last week, my breath was taken away by the news I read in my Facebook feed, "RIP Nelson Mandela." Of course, I knew the day would come when we'd say goodbye to cultural icon, Nelson Mandela who was 95 at the time of his death. I just was not prepared for that day, just yet.

Ironically, I'd just read an excerpt from a recently release book of a friend and noted racial reconciliation author, Ed Gilbreath.  Remembering Birmingham is a short e-book that reflects on the famous Letter from Birmingham Jail written by the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. The complexity and conflict of being a leader of the civil rights movement was palatable to me as I read this quick tome. Earlier that week, in a conversation with my 76 year old father, the topic of my activism came up. My dad carefully asked me if I'd considered myself a radical.

I paused to really absorb his question and he immediately began to apologize and started to take back the question when I interrupted him.

"Actually, dad, that is a great word for what I am." We ended up talking about why I was OK with the word and what it stood for and we spoke about Dr. King and his work, specifically in Alabama as I was headed to that state that very week. After the conversation with my dad, I'd been wrestling with his question and my "full on" embrace of the radical label. Nelson Mandela crossed my mind during this reflection. I tucked those thoughts away as I prepared for my trip. Traveled to Alabama, accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and on the way back finally read the e-book I'd downloaded in October.

It is no coincidence that the conversations, reading the e-book and the passing of Mandela all occurred when it did. These events are all interrelated.

This all matters for one reason: A rallying call for me and my fellow leaders.

We are called to be radicals. Radicals for good. Radicals for justice. Radicals for equality. The passing of Nelson Mandela last week only solidifies my thinking about leadership and my own place in society. We can no longer wait for the next ... Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela. We are it. I am she. It's been clear to me since my early 20s and most of my actions to date support this. We are the leaders we've been looking for. Clearly the accomplishments of Dr. King and/or Mandela will never be replicated. It is a different time. We face some of the same issues but both those great men pushed doors open that must be continuously walked through by as many of us as possible.  In all areas of our lives we must continue to strive to lead from a place of integrity and lift up as many people in the process as we can.  Not only on  MLK day in January or Madiba's birthday in July but every day.

My heart is heavy at the passing of Nelson Mandela but I fully embrace the challenge to carry on his legacy. #IAmMandela

Audacious Faith: Dr King Had It - Do You?

Another rare photo of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King smiling.

For the second year in a row, I've intentionally sought out a photo of Dr. King smiling. Today on what would have been his 84th birthday, I am remembering him for something I am channeling in my life this year:

Audacious Faith

Dr. King is known worldwide for having audacious faith in the face of circumstantial hopelessness. It appeared to everyone else that "things were not gonna change for a long while." If you listen to his last speech - you hear it. Defending the sanitation workers in Memphis on a stormy night, you can hear his resolve. You can hear his immovable, unshakable faith in his movement. Until the day he died, he believed wholeheartedly in himself, his convictions.

Dr. King was in rare air. Uncharted territory. Yet he still said, faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Today, I am uplifted paralleling my journey to his.

My quest to revolutionize relationships on planet Earth is in full force. I am privileged to build on the mission every day by spreading the word as a strategic business partner helping organizations and agencies reach their goals by igniting the people who will carry out the plans.

Is it scary? Definitely.

But if Dr. King can press forward in the face of the 1960s and all that  - then the least I can do is have that same faith in my mission and keep at it.

Thanks Dr. King.

Will YOU Carry Nelson Mandela's Torch?

Nelson Mandela drawn by Josephine Death

While I am certain we will never see "another Nelson Mandela", I can't help but hope his life will inspire others to take up his legacy of unabashed forgiveness and self-accountability.

Today as he celebrates 93 years young, I continue to be in awe of Nelson Mandela and all he stand for...

Forgiveness

Reconciliation

Self-accountability

Relationship.

Relationship with self.

Relationship with family.

Relationship with country.

Relationship with your enemy.

It is his imperfect authenticity in all the above areas that continue to intrigue me. Several times a year - I find myself obsessed with his story, his work and now, thanks to the film,  Invictus - I take refuge for a few hours in a movie that so eloquently walks us through one of his most public (and triumphant) relationship lessons.

I, for one, am picking up the torch of Nelson Mandela's life and work in my world.

Will you do it in your world as well?

3 Ways Facebook Can Help Your Relationships

This summer marks the 3rd anniversary of my joining Facebook. It was a reluctant addition to my life that summer as I'd been nagged about it by many friends, for many months.

Three years and over 600 "friends" later - I am so glad I joined.

There are folks represented from every era of my life. Grade School. Jr. High. High School. Both Universities I attended and every job I've ever work is accounted in the way of the many people who have touched my life over the years.

Recently - I replied to a friend who was horrified that someone she never spoke to in real life in her past wanted to connect with her on the social networking tool. I stand by what I wrote - "people you did not talk to in real life really have no place in your social network online". For me that is really cut and dry. However while thinking about my comment - I started thinking of distant, strained or damaged relationships and how much Facebook has been a big help to me personally.

While I am certain you can find drama that Facebook has added to some people's lives - I'd like to point out the three ways Facebook has helped me with relationships in my life.

1. Provides Positive Contact with A Huge (and often times, Distant) Extended Family
Seriously - I have over 75 first, second and third cousins in my family. It has always been quite a distant family as well - distant in proximity as well as emotionally. Facebook has provided a way to be in contact with some of my favorite cousins that I just could not nail down personally over the years. It has been a meeting place of sorts to connect and keep in touch on safe terms. Would I enjoy phone calls and visits more? Yeah - I would but perhaps they don't and that is why we can keep contact in a way that is comfortable for all. I would even go so far as to say - I am in more contact with many more family members and I have Facebook to thank for that opportunity

2. Provides a Safe Vehicle for Reconciliation When There Has Been Hurt
I am proud to say that most often - I don't live in conflict with people. Over my adult life - I can count on one hand the number of damaging disagreements I've had with others and in all cases except one - there has been full reconciliation. Because of Facebook - I am certain there is a chance for reconciliation with that one exception in my life. You see - when this person joined (even later than me) I watched as they connected one-by-one with our common friends. I knew this person would NEVER connect with me so I reached out to them. Why? Because I've forgiven the hurt years before and the discomfort was thick in our virtual network so I made the move. I've reached out to this person as I had before the "break up" on their birthday - and on the anniversary of the tragic loss in their life because I love this person. This year, there was even talk of a face-to-face reunion. Not sure we're ready for that but I am certain we would not be where we are today without Facebook

3. Helps Keeps Your Close Friends Close
As a working mom - this has been the most valuable for me. I specifically think of how limited my opportunities are to "chat" with my girls. All our real life conversations are really focused on making plans to catch up in person which is few and far between. So how do you get to know a new friend and share in their day-to-day life? Or how do you keep up on the key milestones with an old friend? Facebook! I am specifically thinking of a recent and pretty close new friend who lives less than 2 miles away yet we are not able to see one another much in the off-season of when our kids cheer together. Well- I'd love to hear all about what she's doing in her tennis league or how her 40th birthday trip to Mexico went but it is JUST NOT POSSIBLE. So we use Facebook to catch up on most of those things and use our time together to share and laugh and talk about other stuff. Could I have done that without Facebook? Sure because she is close by but it would have taken longer. And I don't use it to keep up exclusively with my friends who live far - if we talked before Facebook - we talk now. Facebook is just a supplement to keep me up on the niceties of how the family is doing. Of course I care but I'd rather use our talk time to catch up on each other - not our kids.