2 Ways To End 2015 Well These Last 12 Weeks

If you're like me, you may be wondering where 2015 went.

Woke up from my haze that was September just this past weekend and realized we are 12 short weeks away from ringing in 2016. 12 weeks. As 2015 is slipping away, I pose the question for you and me...

Did I get what I wanted from 2015?

I don't start the year with any grand resolutions or makeovers. Normally, I set a few objectives and a couple of big audacious goals and 2015 was no different. There were several big business goals and a few important personal ones. With 12 short weeks left to achieve them, here are my two practical ways to make sure 2015 ends the way I'd like it to.

Regroup

This past year has flown by and while I set out with some big business and personal goals, I've had to regroup on those especially lately. Take a step back and look at what has actually happened versus what I wanted to happen. What's the delta? How far off am I? In many cases, I am not too far off the mark but need to rejigger my compass. In other cases, I am in better shape than I thought I'd be at this point. There is no shame in tossing things out that don't make sense. With a full quarter left in this year, there is plenty of time to redirect energy into activities and relationships that will get us closer to our goals for 2015. Further, this may be the time to start tinkering with what we'd like to see happen in 2016. Get a jump on the planning and rework some 2015 goals and objectives into better 2016 ones. Regrouping is key to continued success. Do it as much as necessary.

Celebrate

I cannot help but chuckle out loud at this one. I love celebrating and don't do it nearly enough. Typically, we Americans are at one extreme or the other - you know, we celebrate too much or hardly at all. I am definitely on the hardly at all, especially during rough seasons of life like the one I'm currently in and have been in for over a year. Hence my new thought of taking time to celebrate even tiny wins and hints of new momentum. For most of the last 15 months, I have hesitated to celebrate anything "waiting" for my tough fog to lift, waiting for the "big relief." Well the reality is, it has not come. I don't know if it is even on the way anymore. So I've missed a TON of opportunities to celebrate the wins I've had in 2015. But no more. Last weekend, we had a celebratory dinner for surviving my crazy September. I have a celebration plan to finish this year and of course my birthday month will serve as a great catalyst this new direction. Part of what builds momentum is reinforcement of behaviors that got us the progress. Celebrating is a great way to encourage progress. Make sure you stop and celebrate your wins these last 12 weeks of 2015.


So the answer to my own question is... not yet. And I have 12 weeks to make sure that "not yet" converts to a yes. Then I can got into 2016 unencumbered with any remnants of "what ifs" from 2015. Join me.

 #2015Unshakable

2 Ways To Stay Unshakable While All Trembles Around You

As 2014 closed and I narrowed in on my theme for 2015, I had no idea exactly how applicable this year's theme was going to be.

#2015Unshakable

Several online dictionaries define unshakable as not easily panicked or upset and strongly felt and unable to be changed. When I think about the highs and lows, me and my family has already experienced in the last six weeks of this very young year, it's no wonder unshakable was the word that felt best to assign to this year.

Regardless the circumstances, the ability to stay focused and move toward our best good is imperative. But one must first define "best good" in order to live and thrive in shaky times. We have to be clear on what the "end game" is in order to stay on task toward it. And we must have coping strategies in place to buoy us through rough terrain.

Defining The End Game

One of my intentions for 2015 is to be an unshakable force for good in our world. That is pretty lofty but I've got it broken down into a few key areas - first, my home. I identified what I must do to be a force for good with those I do life with most closely. Second,  I laid out what I can do to be a force for good in my work. Be it current clients or potentials, I teamed with my partners and contractors to list ways Relationships can add value in 2015 in ways we had not in the past. Finally, in my extracurricular activities - I clearly sought ways to add value in my volunteer and other commitments. That examination prompted me to let go of some commitments to which I could no longer devote my best talents and/or attention. Having a clear "end game" in all areas of life has made it easier to face the ups and downs that have come my way in all areas in this young year. And while I feel tossed and turned, my resolve to remain an unshakable force for good is one of the things that keeps me going.


Build Coping Strategies For Tough Times

The biggest surprise of 2015 so far for me was just how depleted my personal coping mechanisms are for extremes. The past few years have been relatively uneventful for both my family and my business. With my business growing rapidly and finally finding a rhythm, it was getting easier to integrate Relationships Matter Now with the rest of my life.  However, as our family dynamic has changed (kids moving from kiddie to pre-teen and teen years - normal marital drift - elderly parent care pressures) during the same time period, it has become clear that we do not have adequate support systems in place to buoy us when things are rough - primarily me. We have operated in a silo with little to no external systems to help when we hit icy patches in the road. We are currently course correcting but I find it helpful to share what I think is necessary. Having several outlets for perspective gathering - groups of friends to listen and encourage. Dedicated time to unplug and recharge. Without that, our minds race and interrupt sleep and creativity when you most need them both.  Getting outside impartial help - be a coach, counselor or therapist. Sometimes you cannot just muscle through.

Each day I am realizing that being unshakable does not mean not reaching out for help or vocalizing what's shaking us. In fact, casting out fear of all kinds is part and parcel for being unshakable. Nothing casts out fear more than facing it down with the support of many around you. So when you see me tweeting anything that ends with my #2015Unshakable hashtag - remember the 2 things that enable me to stay unshakable in 2015.

How Will You Finish 2014?

With exactly 3 months left in 2014, I am already focused on how I will finish this year,  both personally and professionally.

It does not matter that I started this year on a Whole30 diet to clear my mind and break up my unconscious habits.

It doesn't matter that my business is growing at a 300% clip going into a quarter when I grew 900% last year.

It doesn't matter that I cannot go one week without yoga, my newfound relaxation and exercise panacea for all the ill my life.

Nor does it matter that I am 0-8 on every federal contracting opportunity I've bid on.

It doesn't even matter that a personal crisis dropped in our laps on the cusp of the fall threatening to blow up every single plan that was made for this year.

The next quarter is my chance to run across the "finish line" of this year - 2014 - my year of being unencumbered  - with most or all of my goals in the rear view mirror. I've got a little over 90 days to make that happen.

Now that is not going to happen "by chance." Here are the five things I'm doing to finish 2014 well:

1.   Make contact with all the potential business partners I've been cultivating relationship with all year. If I am just reaching out for the first time, chances are they will be a warm enough prospect to impact this year or set me up for work next year. It's the time of year for budgets for 2015 and final projecting for 2014. Small end of the year projects go to those who are asking.

2.  Sit down with each family member and look at what I need to do to ensure we are in sync going into the holidays. Holidays are stressful but they are more stressful when not properly prepared for. I'll make things right with anyone I've wronged so we can have a peaceful and fun holiday season.

3.  Do a gut check with all my current clients. Set up meetings to gage their satisfaction and these will be in continuation to all the efforts I've made all year. Many of my on-going partnerships have already expressed intentions of continuing - it's on me to create more value.

4.  Self-reflect. Even though I do this often, I will have a serious inventory chat with me. Am I where I want to be? What's holding me back? What can I do to change that? Taking time, going into the final stretch of the year is critical for ensuring I actually shut down when I have my down time.

5. Plan my break. Every year since I've been an entrepreneur, I have experienced a near shutdown at the end of the calendar year. The first year it startled me and I was not prepared. By year two, I had plan and now I won't ever go into final quarter without one. We have a trip to California on the books and a surprise waiting for us all on the other side of year end.


I am looking forward to this final quarter of 2014 and the push to start 2015 well. Every move I make over the next 90 days will ensure I hit my goal of finishing well both personally and professionally. What are you doing to end 2014 the way you want to?

The Best Thing About Fall For Leaders

Every fall, I write a throwaway post about my favorite season of every year. This year will be different. I'd like to challenge leaders to use the fall and change of season as a catalyst to end 2013 on a high note.

When you think about fall, it can be an elusive season in comparison to others. Look around you now, the holiday season is subtly creeping in on us and no one will be surprised when it lands. We all long for spring after winter, especially those of us who live in areas where winter plays out with major weather shifts and sunshine deprivation (Yes, Chicago - I'm calling you out).  Summer is loved, enjoyed and lamented as it winds down and winter starts smack in the middle of the holidays as we close each year.  Fall, if not intentionally managed can be a squandered treasure each year.

Fall is the season that makes or breaks your year each year. 

It is that serious and I want leaders to look at 3 quick reasons why:

Your Final Shot At This Year's Goals

Fall is the last season of the year where you can tangibly impact your goals. With holidays around the corner and the tendency for most individuals and companies to slow down and take time off as the year closes, every week in September , October and early November is critical for a leader to impact how their year ends. Review, reflect and re-tool those goals and make sure you are doing activity to help you reach as many as you possibly can.

Preparation Time For The Next Year

Fall is also the best time to prepare for the coming year. Most organizations are budgeting for the coming year during this time so it is a great way to get a jump on activity for the new year that is less than 100 days away. You can position your team and yourself as key components for success in the year to come by pro-actively scouting and pitching opportunities in the fall. You will most certainly want to do this so you can participate in the final reason.

Making Yourself Available For Year End Respite

As the year closes and holidays set it, you should make yourself and your team ready to take advantage of this natural order slow down. Do the heavy lifting now, in the fall so that you will be able to better enjoy time away from work when others in your life also have that time available during the holiday season. Every good leader takes a break to renew and recharge. Great leaders do so with the peace of mind that they have put in the extra effort at the right times. Fall is the right time for that effort.

So if you are like me and you enjoy the fall for the crisp weather, candy corn and fashion shift - now you have some new and more productive reasons to look forward to fall each year.

Are Your Working On Your Top 5?

More and more lately, I have been reminded of the importance of doing the best you can with this one life we are blessed to live. Having hit the milestone of 40 years old last year really accelerated my thoughts around my top 5 goals for my life. It's one thing to identify the top 5 goals  - another to actually live in the reality of them.

Where do you fall? Do you even have a "top 5"?

Sometime last year I read a blog post about this and listed the following as My Top 5 Goals For My Life:

1. Live my faith everyday
2. Have a growing vibrant relationship with my husband, Isael
3. Raise two world changing individuals (Emma and Evan)
4. Revolutionize relationships on planet Earth - one at a time (making money as I go)
5. Enjoy my life fully!

A few quick words about goals and I'll set you off to set your own...

Goals need to be measurable

All my goals have specific metrics around them. Metrics for quality and quantity. Yep, even the fluffy ones. Periodically, I review these goals and look at specific measurements to see if I am tracking or falling down.

Goals need accountability

These goals are written on the blog that I first read them on a year ago. They are seared in my mind and again here for accountability. You can do something if you don't name it, speak it - proclaim it. I've shared these goals with folks on my Personal Board of Directors so I can have their feedback and input on how I'm doing.

Goals need to be flexible

There is at least one of these goals that will not stay on the list forever. We need to be open to how our lives change and how goals we set for them may have to change as well. Now, this is not to give us an excuse to chuck a goal when it gets hard - it's more to give ourselves the freedom to evolve our goals to our circumstances when absolutely necessary.

I am in good shape on my top 5 and number 5 can be the most difficult at times. Like in April when a major project driving the majority of my company's income fell apart. Pretty tough to "enjoy" that kind of stuff. But I've learned how. I've learned how to take what life dishes and find a silver lining - the extra time I was afforded by that project's disappearance allowed me to complete my first book and accelerate a project that otherwise would have languished in my stable. And this is not just my "hindsight" view - this was my real time view. Did I mourn the loss? You bet. I mourned it by channeling the hurt, anger and confusion into churning out my book and generating more from what I had. It's all about your perspective.

So.... today I challenge you to create a Top 5 Goals for your life list and get to work on it immediately.

Rantings From The Gal With A Close Relationship To Achievement - Part One

It is not often that I am out of sorts for very long. Normally, I have the ability to unpack what's bothering me, deal with it head on and move on to my next challenge or opportunity.

Today was not that day.

I have been bombarded lately with situations/people/instances where folks seem to just not be able to figure out ways to get to what they want in their lives.

Be it romance, peace, financial stability - you name it and people can't get it.

I am scratching my head as to why.

You see, I have strong and consistent relationship with achievement.

I'm not talking about extraordinary things, I mean everyday  - make a goal, attain it. Make another goal, attain it. Sometimes the goals are big and sometimes the goals are small. Regardless, it's really simple for me. Don't like something in my life, change it. Not happy with the way I look, work on it.

I am stunned at how difficult this seems to be for others right now.

Further, I am perplexed that people act somewhat annoyed when I start to troubleshoot once they share their woes with me. Clearly they did not get the memo from this past week. I'm a Maximizer and I can't help myself. No apologies.

At the urging of my supervisor at work, I took the StrengthFinders 2.0 and found out (well got more validation and perspective on what I already knew)  about my top 5 Strengths. And the one related to this post is Maximizer

The Shared Theme Description for Maximizer is this:

People who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.

Thank goodness I read and absorbed this earlier this week because it explains so much to me about me and how I interact with others. It is just the way I'm wired to be disappointed when I see strong that can be stronger.

I hold myself to a high standard and it's highly unlikely that I'm going to "lighten up" on others - especially those that I see more than what they see in themselves.

I focus on my strengths as a way to achieve those things I want in my life versus looking at the obstacles or roadblocks in the path. I intentionally choose to grab on to the nuggets of hope and pour energy into them versus the boulders of doubt and "what ifs".

So this post is my non-apology to folks who want me to lower my expectations, "lighten up", or what ever other euphemisms you have for give up and settle for what life hands you. Not gonna happen for me or anyone who chooses to associate with me. I live to be the best I can be. Every day of every year. Forgive me for being temporarily frustrated when things are not the way I'd like them to be. While you're criticizing me for being so uptight - I'm already looking for solutions to make sure I don't get disappointed again.

Thanks for reading this rant.  Because there are 5 strengths - there will be more rantings. Stay tuned.

What do you have to say back?

What is Your Relationship With Success?

Kicking off the new decade of my life has provided yet another opportunity to reflect. Much is written about success, leadership, goals and motivation. Not a day passes that I don't find a post, or many, written on any of those topics. Instead of just spouting off a few lines about success, I decided to take a look at how our relationship with success really sets the tone for our life.

Friend or Foe

Would you call success a friend? Or would you call it the elusive non-starter in your life? Your experience with success starts with what you actually think about success. I see success as a companion. Not always in the forefront but always in view. Success is not some big win for me but rather a succession of small wins. Consistently.

By Design or By Accident

This one is big. I always lay out what my best case scenario would be. That is my vision of success. It does not always play out but having the vision makes it easy for me to recognize when it actually shows up. Clearly, there are cases when the timing is right and things just happen. I know that. However, your preparation for that moment matters when the iron strikes. So success still has to be at least envisioned to allow it to manifest at the opportune moment.

For Me or For Others

Another biggie. It is quite easy to look at others and compare your success level to theirs. I personally never do this. Success looks different for everyone. I rejoice when others have success in their endeavors. It is motivation for me to clamp down and achieve mine. It is never an option to see success only for others. Success is for me. I say it. I live it. Often times before it has arrived. I call it my "Michael James Jordan Rule". I play success over and over in my mind until it just starts to happen in real life.

My relationship with success is solid. We don't have issues - we just roll together and grow stronger as the years go by. What about you? How's your relationship with success? If not where you want it, how can you change that?

Don't Get Lost On The Way To Your Goals

It's November already.

I feel like the year just started and I remember putting together the goals of 2011 as if it were yesterday.  Now as this year winds down and I'm bearing down on my 40th birthday, I am reminded of how close I am to my goals mainly because of the temptation to give up.

Yep you heard me.

It's that complicated relationship we have with the things we want in our lives. Most of us don't have such a tidy illustration as above when it comes to goals in our lives. We usually get lost some where in between "Stick To It" and "Reach Goal"

This is particularly true if your goal is not simple. For example - tomorrow I am running my second 5K race and I've found this whole running thing fascinating. How simple is it to say you're going to run a race and then plot out a training and go do it.

Super simple - I'm doing again exactly two months to the day since the first race I've run as an adult. I'm still not a runner but how cool is it that I can barge in on this sport simply by setting a goal and having minimal discipline and then executing? Very and I'm certain there will be many more races in my future - most likely 5Ks because I don't like running but I love the thrill of finishing a race. The cheering. The way my body creeks.

Easy.

Starting a business? Now that's complex. I've been on this journey for a few years now and finally have found some traction but have yet to land THE contract, THE partnership to free me from my "real job." The temptation is very real to give up.

The lost sleep pulling together projects in every spare moment.

The look on my kids face when I steal a call or check the email.

The exasperated looks from my husband as I pound away at this post.

It's enough to make a girl open the classifieds, look for a job and call it a day.

But not this girl. The problem with me now is I've tasted what its like to do your life's work. The thing God uniquely wired me to do. AND people have paid me GOOD MONEY to do it.

There is NO WAY I'm giving up now. And I encourage you all to do the same - dig deep. Remember that our lives come and go in seasons and the tough season before the light shines is the season you must push through. You must keep your focus on what you're working towards - not what you see today.

I am in the thick of the "Stick To It" season and not giving up until the hand tips over into "Reach Goal."