What A White Guy Taught Me About The Future Of Inclusion

A few weeks ago, I saw something you rarely see in public.

A white male expressing his feelings of marginalization.

No, this was not related to race or economics what so ever. Rather, it was a long-time resident of a community expressing how much of an outsider one can be made to feel in that community with a rich heritage and tradition toward one particular group.

It was fascinating to me as a black woman in America listening to him explain minor instances of bias and slighted feelings he'd experienced as a member of this community. He concluded with a very convincing argument on why a more inclusive environment was needed and how he wanted to be part of the solution. He even challenged others in the room to join him. Further, it was more intriguing to watch his reaction as his peers marveled at his observations and bristled at his thoughts. That did not sit well with him, at all.

"I hear what you are saying, but I am telling you what I have seen and experienced first hand," were his exact words when questioned and pushed on his assertion that the community was not very inclusive.

As a facilitator of the discussion, I reeled it back in and guided the touchy moment to conclusion. However, it is swirled in my mind over and over again since that moment.

That is THE experience of women, minorities, people with disabilities and members of the LGBT community most every day of our lives in the United States of America. This ongoing discussion in our country on race, poverty, bias and discrimination is one that everyone has a vested interest in.  Especially white guys. And here's why:

That fear that we hear from the Tea Party and all those folks on Fox News about "taking our country" back is embedded in the thought that we (minorities) will somehow return the exclusive and biased behaviors we have faced for centuries. People are afraid that when we are the majority we will act toward them as they have acted  - passively and actively - toward us.

Let's be real.

Much like that man I heard speaking the other week about inclusiveness and equity in storytelling from his "marginalized" view, the minorities in our country feel the exact same way. We won't have time for revenge when our country gets its act together and brings us to the table in a meaningful way.

We, like the gentleman in my story, will be looking for ways to better contribute to a society that wants and appreciates our contributions. And also, like that man, we will move forward in this new reality that we helped bring about. Too many times a week, I hear people tell minorities, women or fill-in-the-blank-marginalized-group-in-America to "get over it," or "move on."

Well I'm here to tell you we won't. Just like the man in my story. You see, until he had a chance to express himself and get acknowledgment to what he was saying, it was going to be very difficult for him to see himself as part of the solution. Those "oppressors" (read long time community members who before he pointed it out - did not even KNOW there was a problem) in the room had to look him in the eye and agree or disagree - acknowledge that what he felt was real and needed to be addressed before he was going to "move on" from his hurt and feelings of being disenfranchised. He was not accusing anyone of that marginalization, just stating that it existed and needed to be addressed.

That is where we a nation need to start. Conversations. Discussions. Open dialogue about this crazy cycle we are in with each other. There are signs of hope. Lots of pockets of the country are beginning to have frank discussions about racism as an institution versus racist people. But more is needed. 

I am looking forward to the progress I know this community group will make because they had that tough discussion.

I'm also looking forward to the day we as a nation collectively have the same discussion.

Meet the New Kid On The Block of Inclusion Strategy

One side of an #inclusion postcard we'll debut this week

This week, Relationships Matter Now will debut at the Forum on Workplace Inclusion, formerly known as the Multicultural Forum on Workplace Diversity. It is the 26th annual event and even the name change indicates a new wind is blowing through the inclusion and diversity space.

A small but mighty team from Relationships Matter Now will be present in the Resource Expo as well as facilitating an interactive workshop on the topic of co-creation on Day 3. Being new to an established space always carries a degree of risk and this is especially true in the volatile space of inclusion and diversity. Regardless of where a company is in this journey, the road to building an inclusive, high performing work environment is filled with ups and downs, stops and starts and lots of uncertainty.

Relationships Matter Now is leading a new and fresh discussion about inclusion. We welcome the participants of the Forum on Workplace Inclusion to our tribe. We are a growing community of people and organizations who believe,  as the founder of Relationships Matter Now, Denise W. Barreto believes, that...

Nothing good is ever achieved without healthy vibrant relationships between humans.

As such, we strive to build the best possible human relationships in all environments where we serve. Relationships Matter Now intends to change the world, one relationship at time. We did not set out to revolutionize inclusion and diversity strategy in America, it just started happening. We want you know that we don't have all the answers. We also want you to know that our biggest asset to any partner is our ability to ignite discussion and engagement of associates on all levels. We know that the inclusion and diversity strategy for your company is already within your company, in the people who work and lead there. We are experts at drawing the strategy from those associates and building alignment and programs to support it.

We believe in co-creation and will facilitate a discussion on how to better co-create with Employee Resource Groups at the Forum this week. We have partnered with many government and non-profit agencies to build more inclusive strategic plans and have assisted with inclusion strategy and programs at several corporations including The Home Depot and W. W. Grainger. Each month, brings new and more opportunities to drive home our belief that at the heart of all inclusion and diversity strategy is transparency on leading and leadership competencies. Once an organization identifies and clearly articulates what it takes to lead within its walls and takes the time to identify the leadership competencies they seek, casting a broader net to find candidates is the final step toward building an inclusive and high performance work environment.

Relationships Matter Now is the partner to lead you on that journey, regardless of where you are today. We are excited to be the new kid on the block.  Learn more about The Forum on Workplace Inclusion here.

Changing The Country's Relationship With Inclusion

See the difference?

All my life, I've been exposed to issues of diversity. Born in 1971, my entry into the world was precipitated by the new era of equal opportunity for all Americans. By the time I had my first job in 1993, we'd been almost 30 years into this era yet attitudes about equal opportunity were shifting. Fast forward to 2013, the second full year of my entrepreneurial venture and yet again topics of diversity, equal opportunity and inclusion hunted me down for my point of view.

Leading a strategic business venture and constantly consulting with government, nonprofit and organizations of all types and sizes, my perspective on diversity and inclusion is always a topic of discussion, even when it isn't.  Instead of giving my "tried and true" diversity class taught response, this year, I started to give my true thoughts on the subject because my relationship with diversity and inclusion has been the same since I entered the workforce 20 years ago. The only difference now, is I'm in a position to spread my point of view and bring others along in a big way.

It is not rocket science or anything earth shattering yet it is both. The simplicity of my point of view is not marred by the complexity of the issue it seeks to solve. Each day I speak about and consult on the direction inclusion and diversity must go, it is clearer to me that my company and I must lead the way. This huge and daunting task does not scare me. It energizes me. My perspective on the topic is now being sought by Fortune 500 and small companies alike. The once reluctant diversity practitioner is now an inclusion strategist. My inclusion strategy work hinges on the following:

Inclusion must include everyone.

Inclusion is essentially a leadership and competency discussion.

It is that simple.  Yes, there are many issues of inequality and oppression that have gotten the United States to its current state today. However, we must be able to count on every one to take us where we need to go. We do not have critical mass in leadership among minorities or women however, our current strategies to get there are not working, particularly in corporate America.

We need to lift the veil of secrecy for upward mobility in these environments. All organizations need to understand and articulate what it takes to lead. This will be different in different places, there is no "one size fits all" formula.  From there, it will be necessary to make a joint effort with education officials to build a pipeline of qualified candidates to lead and cast the net out to all areas of our society to build and grow those leaders.

So now we go to work, transforming the country's attitude about this very important topic, one organization at a time.  There is lots of work to be done to change our country's relationship with inclusion. I am excited that Relationships Matter Now is leading the way.