3 Reasons My Normally Beyonce Ambivalent Self Is Here For Her Today

Beyonce and her Black Panther Inspired Back Up Dancers at Super Bowl 50

This year's hangover from Super Bowl 50 has nothing to do with food or drink. America is hung over from the halftime show that starred Coldplay featuring Beyonce and Bruno Mars.

Specifically, the Beyonce performance coming on the coat tails of the new single and video, Formation, that she dropped Saturday on Super Bowl eve.

In her Michael Jackson inspired outfit and with her Black Panther inspired back up dancers, she made a statement that many are not feeling the day after. Former New York Mayor and Republican Presidential Candidate Rudy Guiliani led the Fox News onslaught Monday morning following numerous Twitter rants overnight. Many in my feed were on both sides of the battle lines - there was the pro-Bey folks who loved every second, every message and were spilling their love from the night before. There were also the folks who could not stand the very sight of her in yet another no pants performance.

What surprised me the most were the folks I know both Black and White who privately messaged me to inquire about my enthusiasm and support for Beyonce's Formation video and subsequent Super Bowl 50 performance. I cannot tell you how many text and private message conversations I had about Bey in the last few days. Because I am a woman of influence and inquiring minds want to know, let me give you the top 3 reasons I am here for Beyonce in her latest iteration:


The Business Savvy Mind of Beyonce Blows Me Away

I am not a Beyonce fan. Nor have I been a hater of Beyonce. I did not ever truly understand the hype but I've never actively talked against her. I may own one or two songs that were on Grammy compilations.  I have been ambivalent at best to the whole Beyonce mystique. But what I have observed over the last 36 months, from a Black business woman's perspective is pure magic. She has used her influence to change the way records, singles and videos are promoted and many have followed her lead. She's figured out how to have all of the WORLD talking about her for the last 48 hours and that will most certainly impact her bottom line when she does drop the album to accompany the Formation single. Her talents are many and even the liabilities she's turned into positives. She utilizes social media to build and drive her brand like no other and again, as an entrepreneur, I'm taking notes. Make no mistake. Using your Super Bowl cameo to drop the dates on your new world tour without a new album takes chops. Big ones.


Using Her Influence In Her Own Way

The number one point I was challenged on was,  would I want my daughter to follow the lyrics of her Formation song/video.  My answer to that is a flat out no. But not for the reasons you think. I say no because my daughter has many many things influencing her none of which are the experiences Beyonce describes in her song. I grew up with some exposure to those references and can relate to them to a certain degree but my daughter is not and that is ok. The second point was about the statements of the video and then the performance. Using imagery from the Katrina disaster. Black Panther back up dancers. REALLY? I see her referencing those things to keep focus on issues facing the Black community today. It has been a very exhausting time to be Black in America for a while. And with folks always commentating on Black celebrities and how they should or should not use their influence, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. She's damned because she did. And I don't agree. I am glad Beyonce is a Black woman in America with a choice for how she tells her story. Listen to the lyrics of Formation. She vividly recollects on a Black southern experience that has clearly impacted her and even as she's ascended to the upper echelons of our nation's wealth, she has not forgotten her roots and wanted to remind us. This weekend. On a world stage. No argument from me. Even if her story is very different from mine.

There is No One Black American Narrative

Do I love the blond braids and Red Lobster reference in her song? No. Hell no. It is not my experience as a Black woman. But I am not here to police the narrative she is pushing. "I am disgusted by what she pushes and it's everything that is wrong with Black America" was a quote in two different private discussions I've had in the last 48 hours. A quote. From Black people and White people I know and I had to reject it. Not because I don't agree. Believe me, I get their contempt. I am so very sensitive to "the narrative" and it does bother me some that we keep perpetuating many of the narratives that have hurt us. But again, that is not my call. Just as I am furious when people attempt to tell me I'm not "Black enough" or shit like "Black people don't eat candy corn," I do not and cannot do the same to other Black folks' narratives. So what if I can't related personally to many of the references that Beyonce speaks of - my military veteran aged (read older than most of my friends with their baby boomer/Black Panther influenced parents)  dad taught me so differently, Yeah, I do have hot sauce in my purse but that's about it.  Big hairy deal. Beyonce's Black is hers and mine is mine. Does it irk me that hers is more universally accepted than mine? HELL YEAH. Everyday. But I will not condemn nor criticize her for having a stage and using it to tell her story, her way. I do it every chance I get. And trust me, my stages are getting bigger by the day.


So I AM here for Beyonce in this moment. She's is using her business mind, her influence and her story to make waves and drive discussion. That is what I do every single day.

Deal with it.

Chance Meeting, Lifetime Impact: Tribute to Dr. Levi Watkins

Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone that seemed so normal and routine at the time only to realize it had a profound impact on your life later?

That was me this past Saturday as I leisurely scrolled through my Facebook feed to learn that someone really special was no longer walking among us. Immediately, upon reading the news of the passing of cardiology pioneer Dr. Levi Watkins in Baltimore last Friday, I was struck with a deep sense of loss. It almost felt like my mind was playing tricks on me. Geez. I'd only met him one time. And last Fall had made a new friend who worked near him at Johns Hopkins Hopsital who had passed a message to him for me. It is a very volatile time in my life, I started to say in my mind as I tried to calm myself in the moment. But reading the very personal and poignant tribute to Dr. Watkins from his brother, Daniel Watkins really made the tears flow.

I'd had a chance meeting with greatness.

I'd shared wine with one of the finest doctors who ever lived.

I was encouraged to BE ME and keep moving forward with BOLDNESS by a living legend.

And I had no idea.

I have never forgotten that late Spring afternoon meeting at the Chesapeake Bay Wine Company in 2007. I was in the area to meet a friend of Dr. Watkins, who was a client partner of the company I worked for at the time. This partner was one of our company's toughest customers and if I'm honest, most every one in our home office was deathly afraid of him. He was gruff. He was flippant. He was witty and cold. And a trip to DC/Maryland to see him was always dreaded, until that day.

I was not afraid at all.  I went to the meeting prepared. He immediately informed me that the allotted time he agreed to before I arrived was no longer possible. In his stiff, Southern drawl, he encouraged me to "brang my best, in much less (time)."

I did. I presented data and offered my humble opinion on what they could do better to up their marketing game. He challenged me hard and I stood firm. Before I knew it, I actually did get the full amount of time with him as he previously agreed. He even offered to take me to lunch and asked if I'd ever had Maryland Crab Chowder. "My favorite dish", I replied and he proceeded to treat me to one of the best bowls of chowder I've ever had a dive location near Beltsville, MD. As we entered his huge truck, I asked him where he's from because he certainly doesn't sound like he's from Maryland.

"Alabama", he replies proudly and I finally have a personal connection to Stan. "My dad is from Alabama", I offer to which he quickly responds, "knew you had 'Bama blood in you." From that moment on, our conversation changed and was rich. We talked Alabama and business, we talked about our families and our dreams.

Back at his office (now I'm in OVERTIME), he invites me on his boat that evening proceeds to write me handwritten directions to Chesapeake Bay. He adds, almost as an after thought, that he has someone he wants me to meet. "Another Alabama great", he said. I agreed.

Dr. Watkins came into the Chesapeake Wine Company right on time to meet Stan and I and Stan introduced me. I don't remember his exact introduction but it was peppered with compliments about me, my courage and expertise at what I do. Dr. Watkins congratulated me, confirming that Stan is never generous with praise. Our 45 mins were lively and full of talk about Alabama, courage and other things I scarcely remember but I do remember what Dr. Watkins said when we stood to part. He specifically said he enjoyed meeting "young folk" like me, "self assured and confidently taking on the world." His last words to me were, "don't ever change - no matter how hard it gets or who you face, the world needs you just the way you are".

We hugged and I went on my boat ride with Stan. Over the years, since that meeting, I've often thought about that conversation and it rang in my head in late 2011 as I boldly left my corporate job to do Relationships Matter Now full-time.

Saturday when I heard Dr. Watkins had died and began to read about the outspoken civil rights and medical genius he truly was, it occurred to me that our chance conversation was one of the first mustard seeds of my entrepreneurial journey.  I was pushed to my life's work by someone who was doing his. I was acknowledged and validated as a great mind in my field before I knew it myself by someone accustomed to greatness and achievement.

Thank you Dr. Levi Watkins for your amazing life. And especially thank you for seeing more in me than I even saw in myself that day.

Most Often You Take The High Road, Sometimes...

you stick to your critics, plainly and clearly so they don't mistake your silence for weakness. President Barack Obama had one of those moments with his critics last night in front of the world and being human and all, he did not resist. I cannot blame him. Can you imagine the disrespect this guy must endure privately when consistently he is publicly dissed in forums that had, until his election in 2008, been sacred places of respect for the country's highest public office?

I cannot. But his off the cuff brilliant response to the last night's attempted diss showed me something I've always known was true.

For highly educated, successful Blacks in this country - you are still never enough for the establishment. The diss was not merely a disagreement with his politics. Yawn. Spare me. Clearly and consistently the establishment and power players of our country have intended to undermine President Obama and the legitimacy of his ascent to the highest office.

Last night's attempted diss was merely the latest iteration of the "birthers" and their failed policy to convince the American people that Barack Obama and his presidency is a fluke.

And he rightly smacked them down with his now famous "I won both of 'em." line. People can't even get it right adding the frigging "th" to what he said. He did not say "them." He said 'em, as in "I'm goin to the sto with Stacey and 'em."  He said what he meant and the translation was clear.

Clap all you want. I won. And I won, again. It's time you get over it.

As a high achieving fellow Black American, I applaud you, President Obama.

Oh, how I've imagined you unleashing your true thoughts on the constant onslaught of clear disrespect and you've held you tongue each time. You were even cool in your clear and obvious verbal backhand. I have tried, in vain, to emulate your cool head in those moments. Sometimes, I've succeeded but most often I've failed spectacularly.  I am happy to see you are human like the rest of us.

Human.

Not sub-human as many people see Blacks since the days we were brought to this country in service of others and a continued problem we fight daily.  Nor superhuman, the other equally damaging image of Blacks in our country that was recently documented, studied and analyzed in this review of the abstract.  You see, as either sub-human or superhuman, Blacks are not deemed worthy of basic respect and human treatment in the the United States. And while we celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 last year, we have a long way to go.

Electing President Obama showed us in spades. All the progress and seemingly "post-racial" harmony of the 80s and 90s was turned on its ears when BHO was elected. It is OK to once again display your intolerance and downright fear of smart Black folks. Why do all politicians constantly refer to taking our "country back"? We all know damn well what they mean and until we have an honest conversation about our country's sorry relationship with race, we will continue to get what we get but I digress.

I am very glad to see our Harvard educated President remind everyone of who he is and what he's accomplished in a smug and confident manner.

Nothing stings your opponents more than your silent success. Or the occasional verbal smack down.

Thanks, President Obama for this one time of giving us a bit of both.