Three Reasons Hidden Figures Reminded Me I'm Ready for Trump's America

The ladies of Hidden Figures and their actresses on screen

Hidden Figures could not have come out at a better time - for the country and for me personally.

This drama based on the lives of women who were literally hidden from the history books of one of the most significant accomplishments of NASA in history, John Glenn's orbiting the earth in 1962.

I loved the film from start to finish and there were three significant reasons why this film moved me as it did going into 2017.

Black Women As Humans

While the movie shows us the extraordinary intelligence of three very different Black women, it also delves into each of their humanness. We don't see super human fearless "strong black women," We actually see women with fears, hopes and dreams. We see women depending on each other and community for support. We see women standing up for themselves while simultaneously doubting if they have the right to do so. We see the true complexity Black women face as leaders both at home and in the workplace. This film "goes in" on the story behind the story that we often miss on film about ourselves. We see laughter, tears and gritting of teeth by three glorious Black women - we get a full range of emotions versus the stereotypical angry Black woman narrative. We do see them get angry but we also see them experience joy, satisfaction and contentment.

This was especially touching to me as I've explored how I tap into my full range of emotions. I was raised to be strong and even on a recent phone call as I was breaking down talking about my divorce, I was admonished to 'be strong" by my dad. He meant no harm but has no idea how strong I am letting myself feel my pain. It is counter culture for Black women. We are bred to push on and push through. So glad to see pop culutre catch up to my new reality.

Black Women Pioneering

I've often wondered if my spirit of ingenuity was just me or if it was innate in being a Black woman in America. After seeing this movie, I'm convinced it's indeed both. When you look in spaces where Black women enter as the 'onlies," we have a habit of elevating that space and it never being the same. Katherine Goble as an addition to the NASA task force team as a "computer" changed that team forever, how they worked, how they looked at their work and even how their work was received by the astronauts. Look around you today, so many Black women out of sheer brute force -  create, initiate and drive innovation in our country, most often in the shadows of mediocre White people. Yet, we shine anyhow.

Heading into the 7th year of my business, expanding our offering so much and taking a leadership role in driving equity discussion and action, pioneering is something not only I need to do, but something our country needs me to do. Much like the ladies in this movie, the conditions require my best thinking and resilience to drive our country forward to its true future. Then, it was the Space Race with the Soviet Union, now it's shaping what United States of America we will be - one that leverages and utilizes the talents and contributions of all its citizens or  a country that only cares about the advancement of a choice few. You know which one I'm working towards and like the ladies in Hidden Figures - we will win.

Black Women Having A Second Chance At Love (Movie Spoiler Alert)

The central character of the film Katherine Goble is a widow with three beautiful children we see early in the film. She manages her stringent work and mothering with the live-in help of her own mom. When a local military man moves home, her squad is adamant about hooking her up with him. The movie takes us through their awkward dating life which is scarce due to the hours she puts in at NASA to his grand and no less awkward proposal. There are only a few more subtle references to her marriage and we see very little of the relationship in the movie but it was significant enough that one of the films postscripts alerts us that Katherine and her second husband Jim Johnson recently celebrated 56 years of marriage together. Instant tears of joy from me.

Anyone who's been in my life or even casually observing has seen the way the dissolution of my 15 year marriage has wrecked me personally this past year.  Even as I am typing through tears to write this post, I am experiencing my first holiday without my kids and as a single person. I absolutely STILL believe that I will have a 20 year wedding anniversary. 15 months ago, I thought it might be with Isael Barreto but I now know differently. I know I am an amazing catch, perhaps pressed for time and focused on building a business and reforming government but still a woman who wants a partner. Seeing Katherine Goble meet and marry someone gave me life. Why? Some days, I cannot even imagine how I'll make time for a new man in my life and that stretches even more trying to imagine the man who will be man enough to love and cherish me with all my intensity and drive. But seeing that on film and knowing it played out in real life for another brilliant Black woman gives me hope.

Hidden Figures is a movie for such a time as this. If those ladies could excel and drive our nation's transformation back into leadership in the Space Race, under the conditions they faced in 1960s United States of America - BRING ON the next administration.

I am ready.

3 Reasons My Normally Beyonce Ambivalent Self Is Here For Her Today

Beyonce and her Black Panther Inspired Back Up Dancers at Super Bowl 50

This year's hangover from Super Bowl 50 has nothing to do with food or drink. America is hung over from the halftime show that starred Coldplay featuring Beyonce and Bruno Mars.

Specifically, the Beyonce performance coming on the coat tails of the new single and video, Formation, that she dropped Saturday on Super Bowl eve.

In her Michael Jackson inspired outfit and with her Black Panther inspired back up dancers, she made a statement that many are not feeling the day after. Former New York Mayor and Republican Presidential Candidate Rudy Guiliani led the Fox News onslaught Monday morning following numerous Twitter rants overnight. Many in my feed were on both sides of the battle lines - there was the pro-Bey folks who loved every second, every message and were spilling their love from the night before. There were also the folks who could not stand the very sight of her in yet another no pants performance.

What surprised me the most were the folks I know both Black and White who privately messaged me to inquire about my enthusiasm and support for Beyonce's Formation video and subsequent Super Bowl 50 performance. I cannot tell you how many text and private message conversations I had about Bey in the last few days. Because I am a woman of influence and inquiring minds want to know, let me give you the top 3 reasons I am here for Beyonce in her latest iteration:


The Business Savvy Mind of Beyonce Blows Me Away

I am not a Beyonce fan. Nor have I been a hater of Beyonce. I did not ever truly understand the hype but I've never actively talked against her. I may own one or two songs that were on Grammy compilations.  I have been ambivalent at best to the whole Beyonce mystique. But what I have observed over the last 36 months, from a Black business woman's perspective is pure magic. She has used her influence to change the way records, singles and videos are promoted and many have followed her lead. She's figured out how to have all of the WORLD talking about her for the last 48 hours and that will most certainly impact her bottom line when she does drop the album to accompany the Formation single. Her talents are many and even the liabilities she's turned into positives. She utilizes social media to build and drive her brand like no other and again, as an entrepreneur, I'm taking notes. Make no mistake. Using your Super Bowl cameo to drop the dates on your new world tour without a new album takes chops. Big ones.


Using Her Influence In Her Own Way

The number one point I was challenged on was,  would I want my daughter to follow the lyrics of her Formation song/video.  My answer to that is a flat out no. But not for the reasons you think. I say no because my daughter has many many things influencing her none of which are the experiences Beyonce describes in her song. I grew up with some exposure to those references and can relate to them to a certain degree but my daughter is not and that is ok. The second point was about the statements of the video and then the performance. Using imagery from the Katrina disaster. Black Panther back up dancers. REALLY? I see her referencing those things to keep focus on issues facing the Black community today. It has been a very exhausting time to be Black in America for a while. And with folks always commentating on Black celebrities and how they should or should not use their influence, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. She's damned because she did. And I don't agree. I am glad Beyonce is a Black woman in America with a choice for how she tells her story. Listen to the lyrics of Formation. She vividly recollects on a Black southern experience that has clearly impacted her and even as she's ascended to the upper echelons of our nation's wealth, she has not forgotten her roots and wanted to remind us. This weekend. On a world stage. No argument from me. Even if her story is very different from mine.

There is No One Black American Narrative

Do I love the blond braids and Red Lobster reference in her song? No. Hell no. It is not my experience as a Black woman. But I am not here to police the narrative she is pushing. "I am disgusted by what she pushes and it's everything that is wrong with Black America" was a quote in two different private discussions I've had in the last 48 hours. A quote. From Black people and White people I know and I had to reject it. Not because I don't agree. Believe me, I get their contempt. I am so very sensitive to "the narrative" and it does bother me some that we keep perpetuating many of the narratives that have hurt us. But again, that is not my call. Just as I am furious when people attempt to tell me I'm not "Black enough" or shit like "Black people don't eat candy corn," I do not and cannot do the same to other Black folks' narratives. So what if I can't related personally to many of the references that Beyonce speaks of - my military veteran aged (read older than most of my friends with their baby boomer/Black Panther influenced parents)  dad taught me so differently, Yeah, I do have hot sauce in my purse but that's about it.  Big hairy deal. Beyonce's Black is hers and mine is mine. Does it irk me that hers is more universally accepted than mine? HELL YEAH. Everyday. But I will not condemn nor criticize her for having a stage and using it to tell her story, her way. I do it every chance I get. And trust me, my stages are getting bigger by the day.


So I AM here for Beyonce in this moment. She's is using her business mind, her influence and her story to make waves and drive discussion. That is what I do every single day.

Deal with it.

Family, Love, Acceptance: Relearned on A Beach Retreat

Family.


Love.

Acceptance.

The power and intensity around these words for me personally is practically indescribable. Each one a trigger of all kinds of emotions and deep seeded beliefs. As a person whose life work revolves around relationships and how to best grow and leverage them for good, I am intimately familiar with the contradictions that can accompany each word.

We all have family.

We all crave, want and need love.

We all deeply desire acceptance but know it's not always available so we can live without it.

I am deeply moved and forever changed by my experience with a "client", no less,  who showed me in a very real way that all those things are possible even in places where we least expect it.

This past Spring, a dear sister friend invited me to use my talents at a retreat for Black women executives who in work in philanthropy. Based on their desires, I created two workshops and quickly got the "thumbs up" from the planning committee. This event weighed heavily on my schedule as its confirmation fully booked my September 2015 calendar rendering me not one additional billable hour in May.  From day one, I knew this would be a history making event for me and my business, even if that the time I had not true idea why.

Fast forward to September 24 - my arrival day at the event. You could say I skidded to this event after 30 days of relentless travel. There were 9 workshops, 3 TED-style talks, 2 seminars in 5 cities touching countless people with my message of Engage, Collaborate, Lead in one form or another. The trip itself pushed me into American Airlines Gold status which was huge for me back in my days of corporate marketing travel on someone else's dime. I was exhausted yet completely stoked to lead and learn with a group of my peers - outstanding Black women executives. Don't even mention that the week was a great one for talented Black women in general. Even though I was on a plane, I did not miss the 2015 Emmy buzz around amazing Black actresses taking home statues  - Regina King, Viola Davis and Uzo Aduba.

Little did I know, that my contribution to the weekend would be the least impactful memory I'd have. From allowing me full participation in the planned weekend activities, to my divinely appointed work group Friday afternoon - every aspect of the ABFE Women in Philanthropy 2015 Leadership Retreat deeply touched me and renewed my faith in family, love and acceptance.

Family is a complicated matter with me. My family of origin is a complex and messy tale. Until recently, my marriage and family I built was my refuge and saving grace for the very word "family." While it is still together, many uncertainties abound about its future.

Love. Boy, do I struggle with this concept. See my Mother's Day post here, if you don't believe me. I have no problem giving love but receiving it is my achilles.

Acceptance is quite another story. I have learned to live without acceptance for much of my life. While I have always wanted it, especially from women who look like me, rarely was it extended to me. I've always been too different. Too loud. Too outspoken. Too smart. Too daring. Too driven. And now that I am well into my 40s, I simply don't give a damn if I am accepted or not. I have learned to live in that tension without diminishing who I am.

Imagine my sheer shock at getting all of these things - family, love and acceptance from a group of women who barely knew me.  Imagine feeling completely at home being who I am, delivering my best talents, sharing my heart and soul for a few days in paradise.  Imagine days later continuing to build those connections virtually and feeling the sense that someone - lots of someones - close to 30 someones HAVE MY BACK in all corners of this great country.

Thank you, ladies.

Thank you for sharing yourselves with me.

Thank you for allowing me to serve you.

Thank you for showing me that family, love and acceptance can be extended and shared in our community.

See you at the next retreat!

Signed,

Your new ABFE sister