A Quadrennial Reminder of My Own Quest For Excellence

With just 5 days left of competitions for the 2016 Rio Olympic Games, I am already dreading the the end of the Summer Games. I love the Olympics. Ever since I can remember, I have loved the games. I remember vividly watching over the years and this year marks the 20th anniversary of my special accomplishment of working at the 1996 Centennial Olympic Games in Atlanta. This year also reminded me of something I'm not so sure I'd recognized before... my absolute love of excellence on display.

I was a tomboy jock girl for as long as I can remember. I loved all sports and all things about sports - playing, watching, coaching. I was a competitive tennis player from age 10 - college. I played other intramural sports at two universities. I've coached a sport I love and know well but could not play very well. I've coached other sports because there was a need. I started my career in sports marketing before it was a "thing" and major college track in the early 90s. I watch sports from around the world and have for many years now. I am a sports fanatic and I partially blame that on losing my mom and female influence early in life and growing up in a sports town like Chicago.

It make sense that a woman like me would love the Olympics. And I never questioned or thought much of my love of the Olympics as it just seemed natural for someone who loved sports as I do.

Until now.

This year, as I am recalibrating my life and examining EVERYTHING I ever thought about myself - I came to a new and exciting discovery. It is not only sports that attracted me to the Olympic Games all these years. It is the quest for excellence.

Mark Spitz
Serena Williams
Mary Lou Retton
Greg Louganis
Dominique Dawes
Michael Johnson
Usain Bolt
Marion Jones
Bruce Jenner
Carl Lewis
Nadia Comenci
Michael Phelps
Simone Biles
Simone Manuel

Those names ring in my ears long after I've been exposed to their excellence because seeing them on the world stage is a reminder of what happens when you excel at your craft. When all the years of practice come down to that moment in time when you exceed even your own expectations - it is glorious. It is inspirational. It's also been my main attraction to the games even beyond my love of sports.  

From a very young age, I have had an insatiable thirst for excellence and the Olympics was one of my quadrennial and tangible reminders of that. Of course, we get to view excellence in many ways, shapes and forms but not quite in the same way as the Olympics. Literally, the whole world stops to celebrate the individual and collective accomplishments of these athletes and their drive for excellence in their respective crafts. And while, I never believed in my own sports abilities enough to pursue excellence there - I have pursued excellence in my work throughout my life.

And at the tender age of 44, I'm starting to see the results of that pursuit manifesting in my business and the work we are doing to change the world, one relationship at a time.

Thank you Rio 2016 for that great reminder and new found inspiration for excellence.

When's The Last Time You Bet On You?

All in - when was the last time you were "all in" for yourself

I'm heading to Las Vegas in a few weeks for a trip that is very much part of my 2016 Recalibrate agenda. The process of exploring the opportunity, weighing my options and finally making my move was not very different than previous bets I'd placed on myself but this time the stakes were higher and it felt different.

When was the last time you bet on yourself? You know, all in, all or nothing -  100% betting on you.

I've come to realize that for most people it is not very often at all and I want to change that. Here are three reasons to go all out and bet on you in 2016.

You Are Worthy

I have no idea what's brewing in your mind. A relationship change? A business idea? A promotion at your job? A move across country or the world? Whatever it is, I want to tell you are worthy of that "thing" you want. You are deserving of the love you desire. Your idea needs air. Your company needs your perspective. You should see that place you've dreamed about. Too many times we talk ourselves out of our true desires because we don't feel we are capable, deserving or worthy of such a big change. Some of us can barely form our lips to say it for fear of what others may say in response further cementing our sense of inadequacy about our desires. Know that the nagging in your mind and spirit is your indication that this is important and that you should pay attention. Give yourself permission to imagine yourself in your dream, whatever it is.

People Want To Help You

This is a tough one to digest for all types. Think about it. If you are a natural collaborator - most likely you are always willing to help and contribute to the ideas of others. And if you are a disruptor, like me, you often go alone and the idea of others helping makes you laugh. When you bet on yourself and talk about your dream, you ignite passion and ideas in others, ideas to help you. This also applies for tough challenges you have to face; when you allow others to share the burden, it really is lighter. Sharing my journey of how depression wrecked my marriage and the consequences of that wreckage has been an amazing experience. From the outpouring of offers of help and encouragement to the cries of camaraderie of others suffering now, I don't regret sharing my pain. We must reach out and invite others into our dreams and our journey.

Snowball Effect

We all know what happens to a snow ball as it rolls down a hill. It gains both material and momentum.  The same occurs when you bet on yourself. Too scared to bet on yourself for that Big Hairy Audacious Goal? Then bet on yourself small today. On anything. Trust you gut. Give yourself the "ok" on little things. As I look back on when I started betting on myself, it was a long time ago. Since I was a teenager, I have always stepped out and bet on me. Some times it worked out and every time I learned. Lately, in the last 8 years, as my kids grew and needed me in different ways, I returned some focus to me, my career and my deepest desires to lead. Each of those small bets led me to bigger bets and in a few years quite possibly the biggest career bet I've ever made. But it is not an isolated thing. I've now been betting on me -both personally and professionally consistently. And the snow ball effect is real. Stay tuned if you don't believe me.

So I ask again, when was the last time you bet on you? When did you last push through your fear and go after something or someone you wanted? If it was longer than yesterday,  you have some work to do.

Go.

Time To Recalibrate

Every year since I started Relationships Matter Now, I've picked a theme to focus myself and the business around. Originally, it was simply an exercise in gratitude to the universe for allowing me the opportunity to work for myself. Then, each year after 2012, I have carefully crafted my theme based on both happenings and desires in my work and personal life.

This year is no different.

Perhaps for the first time since I started the themes, my personal life is impacting the theme way more than my professional life. 2016 will certainly usher in a completely different personal life for me. While business has been phenomenal, my marriage has not faired as well and will be coming to an end. If you know me at all, you know how huge a shift for me this will be. It will require a complete rebranding and recalibration of my very being.

Parallel to that, I stepped out of public office in July 2015. The very inspiration for my business was my elected office role in Lake in the Hills, Il. My love and desire to serve the public has not diminished but I've had to recalibrate how I do that. Former IL Governor Pat Quinn appointed me to a statewide business council and I was recently tapped by IL Comptroller Leslie Munger to serve in another capacity on a statewide advisory board. Again, these opportunities are pushing me to recalibrate my public service.

My motherhood is changing. Clearly, motherhood shifts and moves as your children grow but nothing prepares you to face motherhood alone when you've banked on and worked hard on a marriage partnership to bring the kids to "completion." With a high school freshman and fifth grader and a pending separation, my motherhood will need recalibration.

My business is adding an employee. Until now, we've grown only with project based contractors. 2016 sees me making the commitment to a dedicated team member and it's freaking me out to have "people" overhead expenses. I need to quickly recalibrate my thoughts around this or I'm gonna waste all the productivity gains this new addition will afford me and the business.

Dictionary defines calibrate, the root word of recalibrate as  - to plan or devise (something) carefully so as to have a precise use, application, appeal, etc.

Recalibrating my womanhood,  in light of moving from wife back to single woman.
Recalibrating my public service.
Recalibrating my motherhood
Recalibrating my business.

I am excited for 2016.

#2016Recalibrate