Why I Chose "Love" This Mother's Day

Gift to Women at Willowcreek Church for Mom's Day

In celebration of women on Mother's Day 2015 at Willowcreek Community Church, all women were gifted with a pendant on a chain that had one of the following words: Hope, Grace, Love and Courage.

Sitting with my daughter in service, we almost immediately agreed that I should choose "Hope." After all, I have been the steady rock in our family over the last 9 months during an incredibly difficult storm that is only starting to subside.

Then, I drifted off again during service, thinking I might choose "Grace." I certainly understand and walk in a huge amount of grace with God and those who live with me. Plus my understanding of God's amazing grace has allowed me to extend grace abundantly in my life over the last 8 years or so.

I never thought about choosing "Courage" as it is emblazoned across my forehead and most folks who know and interact with me would call me brave, courageous, bold and all the negative nomenclature that remotely relates to courage.  I have a bracelet that says "Fierce" and I barely wear it anymore as people really don't need the visual cue - it's pretty apparent almost instantly.

That left "Love" as my only choice. My first inclination was to resist. Love is cheesy. I love, I reasoned sarcastically internally. But really the more I thought about it, my tough character is in a season where it desperately needs love.

To love and feel loved.

It is very easy and intuitive for me to "get stuff done." I can shut out feeling anything for days on end especially when there are clear needs and things that need to be done. Courage is second nature and almost as deeply engrained in my DNA as Hope. Hope is my fuel. And as I referenced last week, even a sliver of hope can be instrumental in pushing me forward sometimes to my own detriment. On a brain and heart level, I get Grace especially the  undeserved, abundantly flowing and unrequited kind. Grace was not easy but it was innate in my personality especially since I got married and became a mom. But love eludes me.

Just writing that sentence brought burning tears and a frozen tense state of being. I love. I love my husband, my kids, my BFF and hosts of other people but I struggle to feel love and be loved from others  - all those people included.

Let me be clear, it's not about stuff or cards or gifts or even time together. For me, love is about actions, behaviors and attitudes that display what someone means to you, consistently. Key word being consistent. It's why I struggle with holidays. Why do most people need external prompts to show our appreciation? Love is year round, day in and day out. And even if I struggle to express love to those around me, I don't believe I struggle in demonstrating it. I mostly struggle to see the love of others toward me and I know it's my own lens of love blocking it. Love is a very negative trigger for me and it feels un-American and certainly unmotherly to feel this way. All moms love "love," right?

So when the Teaching Pastor closed the service reminding us to choose  our pendant wisely and remember that part of the idea behind the gift was to select something that speaks to you now, precisely in the season you're in but that you will be on the look out for it as a need in others so that you may one day "pass it on."

That's why I chose "Love". I aspire to generously and courageously love and receive love in my life from the people I do my life with.  It's scary to think that I have courage, hope and grace so firmly figured out without love.  In fact, it makes me know that when I get a better grasp on love, all those other things will manifest in an even greater form in my being.

I am excited to turn some energy to "love" and see what I can do to soften the trigger reactions to it.

Epitome of Hope

My whirlwind trip to DC to attend the 57th Inauguration Ceremonies for President Obama was spectacular. I cannot tell you exactly how many precious moments I experienced. I am still walking in clouds having had the opportunity to go at the last minute.

Several people have already asked me to distill it - what was my favorite moment or memory? With so many to choose from, you'd think it would be hard but it was not. Without question, hearing from the widow of civil rights activist Medgar Evers was the best moment of the entire trip.  When I was boarding my flight back - I kept remembering her words.

"As we sing the words of belief, ‘this is my country,’ let us act upon the meaning that everyone is included. May the inherent dignity and inalienable rights of every woman, man, boy and girl be honored. May all your people, especially the least of these, flourish in our blessed nation. One hundred fifty years after the Emancipation Proclamation and 50 years after the March on Washington, we celebrate the spirit of our ancestors, which has allowed us to move from a nation of unborn hopes and a history of disenfranchised [votes] to today’s expression of a more perfect union.”

Her country. My country. Your country. Our country.

This, from a woman  who in her younger years witnessed her young husband gunned down in their carport with their 3 young children nearby. I bristled, not at the cold wind that blew after hours of standing outside, no. I bristled thinking that many people NEVER come back from what she experienced. Their lives get torn apart by something or someone beyond their own control and they never recover. Never.

Yet, before me - before the world, this woman, Myrlie Evers-Williams took an extraordinarily difficult and painful situation and converted it to her own triumph. To mine. To ours.

Google her. She talks about very openly about the years she spent many years in the wake of her tragedy hopeless, bitter and vengeful. But alas she forgave. Not for Byron De la Beckwith, the white supremacist  who took her husband's life. She forgave for herself, her kids and even for me. Any other path she may have chosen would not have enabled her to have the impact she's had on our country's comeback. And the comeback is still happening. People like Myrlie are reminder of our broken and bitter past that we must face in order to truly move our country forward to the future we all say we want  - peace, justice and equality for all.

Myrlie Evers-Williams made history at the 57th Inauguration being the first woman and first layperson to deliver the inaugural invocation. I am so proud of her and humbled to have been in the same space she occupied, even for a moment. Her struggle and triumph is fuel for me and my endeavors. Her husband literally gave his life so that I can do what I am doing today,  in this great country - pursuing my dream.

Thanks Ms. Evers-Williams, I am so grateful for all you've done and continue to do. You are the epitome of hope for the United States of America

Audacious Faith: Dr King Had It - Do You?

Another rare photo of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King smiling.

For the second year in a row, I've intentionally sought out a photo of Dr. King smiling. Today on what would have been his 84th birthday, I am remembering him for something I am channeling in my life this year:

Audacious Faith

Dr. King is known worldwide for having audacious faith in the face of circumstantial hopelessness. It appeared to everyone else that "things were not gonna change for a long while." If you listen to his last speech - you hear it. Defending the sanitation workers in Memphis on a stormy night, you can hear his resolve. You can hear his immovable, unshakable faith in his movement. Until the day he died, he believed wholeheartedly in himself, his convictions.

Dr. King was in rare air. Uncharted territory. Yet he still said, faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Today, I am uplifted paralleling my journey to his.

My quest to revolutionize relationships on planet Earth is in full force. I am privileged to build on the mission every day by spreading the word as a strategic business partner helping organizations and agencies reach their goals by igniting the people who will carry out the plans.

Is it scary? Definitely.

But if Dr. King can press forward in the face of the 1960s and all that  - then the least I can do is have that same faith in my mission and keep at it.

Thanks Dr. King.

3 Reasons Life Is Like Baseball Season In Chicago

It's that time again!

Oh how I love the start of baseball season in Chicago! Having lived only 5 years outside Chicagoland in my whole 40 on earth, the run up to opening day here is like no other.

I was reflecting this morning 3 reasons life is like baseball season in Chicago:


Hope

Every spring brings new hope for all the baseball fans in Chicago. Could this be the year? It almost never is but that does not keep us from dreaming. Hope is what makes the season start worth watching. It is a promise that possibly something good is going to happen. And even when it turns out bad, we still get a new start the next spring. Life is the same. You have the opportunity to hope for the best and make a new start whenever you wish. And that makes life better than baseball season in my favorite town.

Loyalty

Here in Chicago, you must pick a baseball team and it matters who you pick. To whom are you loyal? While in Chicago it's an age old rivalry of north side vs. south side, it is also a reflection of who you are. I won't go into the north side values but I can say this; south siders are hard workers, scrappy and often underestimated in this town. We turn up in the most surprising places and when we bump into one another outside the south side- look out. Instant friend. Ask Bill Kiss. Our loyalties in life permeate our being - consciously or unconsciously. Mind your loyalties. Wise people do.

Seasonal

Thank God baseball season is only from April to October. Not sure I even like that long of a season but there is a a definite time frame for America's pass time. A beginning that we all anticipate and the end that can be triumphant like in the fall of 2005; or it can be disappointing like so many other years. Seasons have their ups and downs. I could go on and on. And life is no different. You get those triumphant times where all goes your way or you get the dragging, excruciating valleys in life. Either way - you know the seasons are going to come to an end. The key is keeping the perspective that life comes in seasons and knowing how to deal with each season as it comes.

Here's to the start of baseball where ever you are in America or the world. What are you observations about life and the season of your favorite sport?