Ok so that is way oversimplifying the situation. In actuality - God asked me to do something a few months back. It was sort of frightening and sobering all at once but very clear, his instruction: the reason you are thinking and praying so much for this person is because they need your forgiveness. You have forgiven them and so it should be no big deal to reach out to them, He seemed to say to me in my daily quiet time at 5:10 am. Because of the hour - I'd seriously been thinking I was delusional and imagining His request. But then it came at other times of the day when I stopped to give Him space and pray.
He was telling me to reach out to someone who'd recently hurt me. Someone who had betrayed my friendship and trust and I am not going to lie - I flat out did not want to do it. I rationalized at every point, reasons why that could not possibly be God's will.
Last Sunday - I stopped fighting and embraced this destiny and today chose His way instead of my own. In fact - I prayed constantly that He'd join us for lunch and that He'd speak more than me, that He'd show up and give grace if the person wanted forgiveness. Funny - they did not actually say they were sorry nor did they own completely their error - but the sheer humility and sorrow for what they'd done was clear and I extended the grace.
Obviously - I will never know what Jesus feels when we come to Him - broken and afraid, empty and sorrowful but I do know how I felt when I reached across the table and extended myself to comfort the person who had hurt me so just a few months back.
I felt whole. I felt as though the work that God has been doing to help me move on and be stronger was a little more complete because I listened to Him.
All parties involved in this situation felt the same relief today - freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness and conflict - all because I listened to Him.
I love that.
If God is calling you to something today - do not wait - do it immediately and if you feel you can't do it immediately - ask Him to strengthen you to do it sooner, rather than later.
You will not regret it.
I find myself knowing I have to forgive someone and of course, in my humanity, not wanting to do it, even though the Lord requires it! So, I am one of those people that has to say "I forgive them" about 200x before it takes, and by takes I mean finally submitting and actually letting go. Man, my life would be SO much easier if I could just take care of the authentic forgiveness the first time I utter the words: I forgive them, Lord!
ReplyDeleteDear M.Denise and Samothrace, I am asking for your forgiveness, grace and mercy regarding my flippant and rash comment on Nov. 10, 2008, regarding the blog on Nov. 7, 2008. My family suffered greatly from the lack of the proverb "when a family prays together they stay together." I googled this phrase and was told that it is in fact a proverb not a cliche. I don't have expertise in marketing, motivational speaking, sensitivity training, counseling, therapy or psychiatry. My life was rocked by the deaths of my mother and father at very important milestones in my life. My children are grown and my marriage is extinct. If I knew then all I know now; my life would have been very different. I learned how to deal with issues in life; the absolute hardest way. If I had the internet when I was a teenager and young adult; my life would have been enlightened in so many ways. Just what I have read in your blogs thus far; have inspired me. Your blog on Nov. 7, 2008, was so moving and heart touching that I suggest verbatim from it be made into a children's book based on death and dying from a child's perspective. Perhaps this would be a profound and lasting tribute to Bryson's life. Your daughter, son, you (M.Denise) and Bryson would be the main characters. Other characters could include Bryson's Mom, Dad and childcare teachers, etc. Perhaps, the characters could be illustrated as cherubs for the small children and angels for the adults. Sincerely, soccermom P.S. Only God is perfect and without fault.
ReplyDeleteP.S.S. I will be extremely careful about my comments to any and all blogs on this site and all internet sites.
ReplyDeleteDear soccermom
ReplyDeleteYou got it. I am so sorry to hear of your losses and will add you (well I'm lying - I'd already been praying for you :) to my prayer list.
I hope you will continue to follow my journey. I love to have folks on the journey with me.