Good Monday to all.
What a Monday it was... a little trying, very tiring but most of all very tough as I was thinking ever constantly about my friend who buried her 3 year old today.
Regardless of what is going on - nothing in my world could come close to the heartbreak that she must be experiencing now and I am continuing my prayers for her comfort.
I got a comment to my post from Friday that struck me rather odd..
The comment said, "You mention that you pray with your children. Where is the father figure? A family that prays together stays together. Amen"
Wow - does that strike anyone else as slightly harsh? I'm only a few weeks into blogging and love the open forum of it all but MAN - that seems extremely judgmental.
Since you asked, soccermom - I'll gladly tell you. The "father figure" is not a figure at all, he is here with us. (he is in the photo above with us) We have been married almost 8 years and we are very thankful for our family. Interesting that you picked up on the fact that I did not mention him praying with us on that occasion. It is really immaterial to the story in the blog. I racked my brain to think of what positive point you could have been making and came up with nothing. Luckily - my husband is not a regular reader to the blog just yet. Otherwise - he might be inclined to remind me of why he is not as far on his spiritual journey as I am on mine. You see - my husband is slowly getting his head around grace and mercy from Christ but does not believe it exists between humans. A comment like yours would surely have confirmed to him that Christians sit around waiting to pounce on an opportunity to judge - point out where others fall short and generally remind everyone else of the cliches that many cling to instead of the verses that inspired the cliche to begin with.
Maybe you meant nothing by the comment (and I truly hope that is the case) but it came across negatively. Thought you'd like to know that.
SO - that brings me to my big thought of the day... humility. So many times today - I found myself in the most humble of positions - whether it be during my quiet time contemplating the greatness of the God I serve or at work when asked to do tasks that are certainly well below my expertise - it is in those moments that we should look at ourselves and remember to
Act Justly, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly
That's the bright blue bracelet in the photo - my daily reminder of this from Micah 6:8
Dear M.Denise, Sorry if I came across as being harsh. My experience is that the Husband/Father should be a spiritual example to the children. No matter where he is on his spiritual journey. If he can take part in the pleasurable events of marriage, he should be available to take part in the more selfless ones as well. Especially, because your children are so young and impressionable. You give so much to the family unit and so should he.
ReplyDeleteI have never lost a child, thank God. Thank God. I just found out last week that one of my childhood friends lost her 13 month old. I haven't talked to her in years, but I immediately e-mailed her through the funeral home link (I have no idea where she lives now…) and sent my condolences. The years of separation didn't matter to me at that moment. All that mattered to me was that my old friend was most certainly hurting.
ReplyDeleteAs I read your blog, I started tearing up again. I don't know your friend Monica, but I don’t have to, because like her, I am a mother. And I am so incredibly sorry for her loss. I can't imagine the heartache she is experiencing.
As I continued reading your blog, I began tearing up for another reason: the profound insight of your daughter. Her comments to you showed wisdom beyond her years.
So, this is my question: how does someone take a blog that is dedicated to Monica and Bryson and Monica's profound loss...a blog that shared how interacting with your children about how you were feeling about the situation allowed your young daughter to minister to you... ...how, out of all that, does someone hone in on the fact that dad wasn't mentioned joining in that nighttime prayer with your children? How does someone just assume dad WASN'T present because you didn't mention him? Seriously-in the whole scope of that particular blog, why did that matter?
With that said ...where does that comment put my husband and me? My husband DOES pray with our children. He doesn't pray every night with us, though. I don't pray every single night with everyone either. We both try, but he has obligations that take him away from home when I am putting everyone to bed. I may not be able to pray with our boys because I am tending to one of our daughters. So, since our family, in its entirety, does not pray together EVERY single night, am I to assume our family will crumble? That our family will not stay together because of this? And here I thought families crumbling was a combination of many, many different factors. A…”slow fade”.
Since a family member was missing in Denise's nighttime ritual with her children, based on "the family that prays together stays together" rule of thumb, maybe it would be better not to pray at all? If every family member can't be present at every prayer time, (remember, I am referring to my family, too), then I guess there is no hope for the family unit, since it is obvious, prayers only mean something when the perfect mix of people are present.
Actually, I know the Lord listens to my singular prayers. We also have the assurance that He listens to the prayers of Denise and her children, whether or not dad is able to join them:
Matthew 18:19 The Message: "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."
I guess my other point would concern Denise’s husband in regard to his spiritual journey. If praying with his family is (for whatever reason) not part of his personal spiritual journey, then, according to soccermom’s comments, spiritual journeys really should not be tolerated.
Great---so now I am in trouble, and should consider cashing my Christianity in, because I am constantly on a spiritual journey. Like Denise's husband, I am constantly trying to wrap my brain around Grace and Mercy. Thank God that HE is the God of Grace and Mercy, because soccermom’s posts certainly didn't have either of those attributes.
Oh, and one last point…I know Denise personally. I have known her for many, many years. And I know her heart. So I can say with assurance that she is willing to support her husband in his journey, because ultimately she wants him to come to Christ. And by doing that-by letting him go on this journey—she is showing God’s Grace and Mercy by doing exactly what Christ himself is doing: letting her husband find his way to Him. I also can safely say that Denise can’t WAIT for the day her husband joins in the nighttime prayers with the children.
And do you know what? I can’t wait either! That is why I continue to pray for Denise and her family, and to support her husband as he walks---sometimes stumbling-sometimes falling down, but always getting up to continue his walk down his spiritual path to God.
To each family their own... and to each person their own, because someone doesn't outwardly pray with someone, doesn't allow us the opportunity to insult.
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