How The GOAT Impacted 8 Year Old Me And Changed Me Forever

The way I remember the Greatest of All Time

2016 is my year of recalibration.

And as I reflect upon the death of boxing legend and humanitarian Muhammad Ali at the age of 74 over the weekend, it is clear why these happenings are occurring. This second iconic death within a 90 day period is an acute reminder of the origins of my own personal strength.

Like many Black kids of the 70s, Muhammad Ali was my hero. Without question.

At a time when Black American heroes were few and often soft spoken (think Arthur Ashe - another hero to me as a actual tennis player), Muhammad Ali was different and captured my imagination from the first time I saw him on the small screen.

He was outspoken.

He was fierce.

He was confident.

And those were traits I'd never seen in Black people in my own real life circles.  I remember him most from 1979 as it was a tumultuous year for me personally. It was the year of his "retirement and comeback." There was the Lyle Alzado fight and countless replays of many of his most controversial moments to date at that time.

I remember not being able to peel my eyes away as replays of his anti-Vietnam commentaries were played again and again. Or seeing him talk enormous amounts of trash about his opponents and his legacy.

I also remember driving by his south side Chicago home and being shown where he once lived. It was sort of a mecca for me and family members who took us there. Hearing stories from family members and friends who'd run into him or witnessed him with his kids on the south side of Chicago riveted me. And it was not the riches or fame that attracted me to Ali and his story.

It was sheer bravery to be who he was and boldly speak what was on his heart; To be proud of his heritage,  his people and to speak out about what we suffered in this country.

1979 was the year I was sexually abused by a family member. It was year of a crazy Chicago snow storm and the year I first listened to Prince.

And while I'd never thought much of it before the passing of both Prince and Muhammad Ali these last few months, it was the year I figured out that I have a voice. A strong and powerful voice that started raising and asserting itself that very year despite what the world around me told me.

I was brave.

I was powerful.

I was fierce.

And I felt that way then at least in part because of seeing Muhammad Ali stand up again and again at a time when I felt like laying down. To this day, I live, lead and love fiercely. How grateful am I for reminder of the great life and legacy of Muhammad Ali as this reflection is fueling my growth into the next phase of my journey.

Rest in power, Muhammad Ali - you especially impacted this Chicago girl and woman she's grown to be. Thank you.

Be Your Own Hero

Best Actor Winner Matthew McConaughey is in competition with himself

In the middle of his Best Actor award acceptance speech, 2014 winner Matthew McConaughey touched on something many may have mistaken as arrogance. During his somewhat bizarre and long (3 minutes and 49 seconds) tale, he said he needed, "someone to look up to, something to look forward to and someone to chase."

Within that context, I was expecting to hear about a person he admired and strived to be like - another actor, a public figure or even someone in his private life that we did not know at all. Like the rest of the world watching, I was shocked to hear that he is chasing himself, his future self. But it did not take me long to realize how awesome that concept is and how I, too live that way.

For so many people in the world, the game of life is a game of comparison. We look at people similar to us and compare where we are versus where they are. Or we look at people extremely different from us but in similar circumstances and compare our little hearts out.  It's often about keeping up with and surpassing the proverbial Joneses in our lives.

The nugget of wisdom that flowed freely from one of Texas's most treasured natural resource's mouth is one of being only in competition with yourself. Looking ahead and figuring out how to top yourself in all you do. There is a strong sense of self-reliance in that statement and I can dig it.

3 years ago, when I started my business, it was very easy to compare myself to other female entrepreneurs. I was gobbling up all info I could on small businesses, business led by women and the fastest growing segment of businesses - minority women owned shops. One part of me was eager to absorb and learn all I could from the mistakes of others and take their insight into my journey. But another part of me was in full-on comparison mode. Where did these women work before they launched? Were their networks as strong as mine? Did they have clear objectives and goals? I'd read about a successful female entrepreneur and immediately dissect what I was reading with a side-by-side, tit-for-tat comparison of her business to mine - whether or not it made sense or even was relevant. It was tearing my creativity apart and within 9 months of intense "recognizance" as I called it, I stopped cold turkey.

I began to just look at where I was 6 months prior; what I was learning from my clients and how my business model was evolving. It was the best thing I ever did. Looking back now, I am certain that slight change in focus fueled the over 900% growth in my business year-over-year the last 2 quarters of 2013 that is continuing as we speak and move through 2014.

I'm my own target. I'm my own s/hero. Just like Matthew McConaughey, I only have the facts about me - where I've been, what I've faced and where I can possibly go. It is a complete waste of time to compare ourselves with anyone or chase anyone else's success. I often cringe when I hear folks say things like - "I'm gonna be the next Oprah, Tyra or fill-in-the-blank."  No,  you are not.  You are going to be the first YOU and that is absolutely fanfriggintastic if you allow yourself to feel and dream it. When I heard Mr. McConaughey say he is chasing "me 10 years from now," I got chills. I feel the same way. I've been growing my business steadily since I started it and based on what I've done and what I can do, I have visualized what I could be 10 years from now and it is sweet.

So like the Academy Award winning actor - I am going to challenge you to be your own hero. Chase your own dream and future self. Stop the comparison game. Start the competition with you.

Go.

The Year of "We're In This Together" At The 85th Academy Awards

The 85th Annual Academy Awards are in the books. Like most other pop culture freaks and movie lovers, I was glued to my television taking it all in into the wee hours of the night. There are so many themes to tackle but I am choosing the pattern I saw in acceptance speeches this year. Perhaps it was indicative of the crowd that won the big honors last night, but I saw a whole lot of humility in most of the big award acceptance speeches.

Best Supporting Actor  winner Jared Leto started it out with his salute to his (and by proxy all) single mom then moved to touching on the youth justice movements in the Ukraine and Venezuela. He finished with compassionate words for AIDS victims and the LGBT community.  As the first acceptance speech of the evening, I may be giving too much credit to Mr. Leto but it certainly stands to reason that he set the tone for an evening of humility and graciousness that I have not seen at awards ceremony in a while.

Best Supporting Actress winner Lupita Nyong'o's words, "It doesn't escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is due to so much pain in someone else's" or "When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every child, no matter where you're from, your dreams are valid," give me the same chills as I write them today that I got when I heard her voice firmly declare them last evening.

I was moved by the general "we're in this together" tone of the speeches. It was repeated over and over again throughout the night. There appeared to be a lot less long lists of individual credits but more general encouragement toward groups of people. There was a much more palatable sense of family credit amongst the winners - family of origin as well as "created family" credit given. Even Best Actor winner Matthew McConaughey's speech, that many found to be arrogant in the social media world in the immediate moments after it was given, had credit for his win spread to those closest in his life and God. Best Adapted Screenplay winner John Ridley gave credit to people who believed in him in the his early Hollywood writing days as well as Solomon Northrop whose story he had the honor to adapt for this year's Best Picture winner, 12 Years As A Slave.  Best Actress nod Cate Blanchett lifted women in Hollywood and women in general during her speech.


It's no coincidence that the tone of the speeches was more uniting than normal. We are living in a very divided era in our country and in the world. Look at the headlines, scour the internet for headlines they are not writing and you will find division, desperation and a demand for something different, something more. People want to be seen and people want to be heard. More than ever, we all need encouragement and reinforcement that we matter and that all people matter. I am proud of the Hollywood elite recognizing that while they had the world captivated for 4 straights hours, they could use their influence to pull us together, even if only slightly. Acknowledging heroes past, ordinary parents who did their best and produced extraordinary children or groups of people who struggle just to feel part of this life - Hollywood nailed it last night.

We are all in this together and it's high time we start acknowledging that fact. Thanks Hollywood for the reminder.

I Am Mandela. You Are Mandela.

As I stepped off the plane from a quick trip last week, my breath was taken away by the news I read in my Facebook feed, "RIP Nelson Mandela." Of course, I knew the day would come when we'd say goodbye to cultural icon, Nelson Mandela who was 95 at the time of his death. I just was not prepared for that day, just yet.

Ironically, I'd just read an excerpt from a recently release book of a friend and noted racial reconciliation author, Ed Gilbreath.  Remembering Birmingham is a short e-book that reflects on the famous Letter from Birmingham Jail written by the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. The complexity and conflict of being a leader of the civil rights movement was palatable to me as I read this quick tome. Earlier that week, in a conversation with my 76 year old father, the topic of my activism came up. My dad carefully asked me if I'd considered myself a radical.

I paused to really absorb his question and he immediately began to apologize and started to take back the question when I interrupted him.

"Actually, dad, that is a great word for what I am." We ended up talking about why I was OK with the word and what it stood for and we spoke about Dr. King and his work, specifically in Alabama as I was headed to that state that very week. After the conversation with my dad, I'd been wrestling with his question and my "full on" embrace of the radical label. Nelson Mandela crossed my mind during this reflection. I tucked those thoughts away as I prepared for my trip. Traveled to Alabama, accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and on the way back finally read the e-book I'd downloaded in October.

It is no coincidence that the conversations, reading the e-book and the passing of Mandela all occurred when it did. These events are all interrelated.

This all matters for one reason: A rallying call for me and my fellow leaders.

We are called to be radicals. Radicals for good. Radicals for justice. Radicals for equality. The passing of Nelson Mandela last week only solidifies my thinking about leadership and my own place in society. We can no longer wait for the next ... Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela. We are it. I am she. It's been clear to me since my early 20s and most of my actions to date support this. We are the leaders we've been looking for. Clearly the accomplishments of Dr. King and/or Mandela will never be replicated. It is a different time. We face some of the same issues but both those great men pushed doors open that must be continuously walked through by as many of us as possible.  In all areas of our lives we must continue to strive to lead from a place of integrity and lift up as many people in the process as we can.  Not only on  MLK day in January or Madiba's birthday in July but every day.

My heart is heavy at the passing of Nelson Mandela but I fully embrace the challenge to carry on his legacy. #IAmMandela