2 Ways To Stay Unshakable While All Trembles Around You

As 2014 closed and I narrowed in on my theme for 2015, I had no idea exactly how applicable this year's theme was going to be.

#2015Unshakable

Several online dictionaries define unshakable as not easily panicked or upset and strongly felt and unable to be changed. When I think about the highs and lows, me and my family has already experienced in the last six weeks of this very young year, it's no wonder unshakable was the word that felt best to assign to this year.

Regardless the circumstances, the ability to stay focused and move toward our best good is imperative. But one must first define "best good" in order to live and thrive in shaky times. We have to be clear on what the "end game" is in order to stay on task toward it. And we must have coping strategies in place to buoy us through rough terrain.

Defining The End Game

One of my intentions for 2015 is to be an unshakable force for good in our world. That is pretty lofty but I've got it broken down into a few key areas - first, my home. I identified what I must do to be a force for good with those I do life with most closely. Second,  I laid out what I can do to be a force for good in my work. Be it current clients or potentials, I teamed with my partners and contractors to list ways Relationships can add value in 2015 in ways we had not in the past. Finally, in my extracurricular activities - I clearly sought ways to add value in my volunteer and other commitments. That examination prompted me to let go of some commitments to which I could no longer devote my best talents and/or attention. Having a clear "end game" in all areas of life has made it easier to face the ups and downs that have come my way in all areas in this young year. And while I feel tossed and turned, my resolve to remain an unshakable force for good is one of the things that keeps me going.


Build Coping Strategies For Tough Times

The biggest surprise of 2015 so far for me was just how depleted my personal coping mechanisms are for extremes. The past few years have been relatively uneventful for both my family and my business. With my business growing rapidly and finally finding a rhythm, it was getting easier to integrate Relationships Matter Now with the rest of my life.  However, as our family dynamic has changed (kids moving from kiddie to pre-teen and teen years - normal marital drift - elderly parent care pressures) during the same time period, it has become clear that we do not have adequate support systems in place to buoy us when things are rough - primarily me. We have operated in a silo with little to no external systems to help when we hit icy patches in the road. We are currently course correcting but I find it helpful to share what I think is necessary. Having several outlets for perspective gathering - groups of friends to listen and encourage. Dedicated time to unplug and recharge. Without that, our minds race and interrupt sleep and creativity when you most need them both.  Getting outside impartial help - be a coach, counselor or therapist. Sometimes you cannot just muscle through.

Each day I am realizing that being unshakable does not mean not reaching out for help or vocalizing what's shaking us. In fact, casting out fear of all kinds is part and parcel for being unshakable. Nothing casts out fear more than facing it down with the support of many around you. So when you see me tweeting anything that ends with my #2015Unshakable hashtag - remember the 2 things that enable me to stay unshakable in 2015.

5 Outstanding Things That Happened On The #Whole30

My new best food friends!

Yesterday,  I ended my first diet ever, the #Whole30 challenge. I mentioned this a few weeks back as I planned to use this diet to ignite more creativity and change my life. As a non-dieter, who had no apparent food issues going in, I learned so much about all my habits, rituals and actions plus got visibility to some HUGE areas of opportunity as it relates to my eating. Check out the 5 things that happened along the way.

Disruption Accomplished

My initial reasoning for doing the #Whole30 was to disrupt my life. To shake it up and look at how I do things overall and you've heard the saying, "how you do anything is how you do everything," so examining my eating habits jumped to the top of the list as way to drive change overall. And change I drove. The very preparation and research of the #Whole30 proved to me from the start that I needed to do this. Why? Because in the earliest moments of this journey, it almost didn't happen at all. My very normal modus operandus had me researching the diet and in en route, I found a better (and shorter) option - a 21 day Sugar Detox. My B.E.S.T. coach commended my diligence but gently and firmly pointed out how I  - before I even STARTED - had used my "normal"way of thinking to adapt what she suggested to my own way. Forced to face this fact, I conceded and pushed forward with the Whole30. Too many examples of this to list but you get the idea. I was way out of my comfort zone the entire 30 days. And I am grateful.

Tangible Bonus Results

I cannot stress enough how I did not do this diet for health or weight reasons. In fact, to weigh myself at the beginning and end, I had to go to a neighbor's house as I do not even own a scale. So what'd I lose? 12.4 pounds and close to twelve inches from my top to bottom - with 5 of those lost inches in my very fleshy middle-aged woman thighs - my ONE potential spot for insecurity.  I want to say, I was very happy with the way I looked before I started this challenge but I am loving how this challenge slimmed me even though I did no extra physical activity. Can you imagine what would have happened if I did this in my running season that starts in 5 weeks?

Scrumptious New Recipes

Because I had to plan my meals so diligently with so many restrictions, I was forced to find new recipes for the duration of this challenge. And while I did not force my family to go gluten, dairy, sugar, legume and grain free with me, I did ask that they join me in the main meat course I had to make for myself. Chorizo Chicken, Dry rubbed Ribs and Ginger Chicken are just 3 of the slam dunk new additions to our rotation. GUYS - I know I am not the only one who got lazy in introducing new dishes into my family's dinner routine. Thanks to Whole30 - I've got some great new resources and ideas on how to mix up our menu and cook healthier for us as a family. Bonus.

Where You Focus Matters

Around Day 18, I had an epiphany. The recurring thought that kept me up at night needed to leave my mind for good. I have been so very focused on the aspect of my business that I have the least control over. Really. I can never control timing and volume of my project portfolio. Never. Now,  there are many things I can do to enable a flow that is timely but I don't OWN those things and focusing there is really a big miss for all this great energy I have. However, focusing and becoming crystal clear on the result I want IS in my control. And when you think about it - what a better way to spend your energy? Focusing 100% on what you want,  giving your mind and body freedom to move all its talents and energy toward what you want. I saw instant evidence of this shift of focus. Instantly.

Invincibility Of My Own Spirit

I can do anything. Now as a believer in Christ, this should be a no-brainer, right? Who doesn't know the Philippians 4:13 power verse? The question is how many of us actually live and believe that we can do anything. My guess is very few and you can now count me in that elite bunch. You see, at the start of this challenge - I did not wholly believe I could give up sugar, dairy,  AUTONOMY of choice of foods for 30 days.  Always clinging to my "everything in moderation" mindset coupled with my downright non-compliant heart and spirit, I doubted I could last 30 days. But I did. Now I believe I am capable of anything. ANYTHING. That is scary and exhilarating all at once.

So anyone out there want to move mountains in your mind, heart, body, soul and/or spirit? Get yourself a food challenge STAT.

Use All Your Tools, Get Your Bunny!

One of the most intriguing phenomenons of owning a dachshund over the last 6 months has been observing her keen natural ability to hunt. Chica is always on the hunt. And watching her hunt lately has really brought to mind a key thought  - she hunts with all her might but only uses one sense - her sense of smell. How many of us go through life just like Chica?

She is so focused and intent on getting the bunny rabbit by sniffing him/her out that she often misses the fact that he/she is sitting right in front of her in the bush - just mere feet away.

We've even led her directly to a bunny in a bush and she still puts her nose down intent on finding the bunny her way. Other times, we give in to her whimpers and open the door for her to just flat out chase the bunny she sees.

The other day I decided to hunt out a bunny from my perspective and found one sniffing around in a bush - let Chica go and she spun in circles around the bush while the bunny panted inside undetected. Finally Chica tired of the sniff circles and turned her back a split second and off the bunny went.

This dog has not caught a bunny. Does this story sound familiar?

She is using only what she believes is her best chance to catch the bunny, her sense of smell. She never uses her eyes nor does she detect the rustling in the bush as well as she could because her head is down to the ground, sniffing for a way to get the elusive bunny.

She does not understand when we,  her owners try and LEAD her to the bunny in the bush or when we point to the area where the bunny is and try to lift her head.

She is eternally frustrated because she knows she's close but what she wants is just outside her reach - outside her comfort zone of sniffing.

I am convinced that she will only catch a bunny when she deploys all her tools toward the job. When she sniffs, looks and listens - I think she'll have a chance. But Chica is a dachshund and as much as it hurts to see her so frustrated, I know her dog psyche allows her to forget this morning's disappointment of not catching the bunny. She's OK.

But what about people who employ the same tactics to their lives? Using only what they think is the best tool, not exploring others? Not allowing themselves to even be guided to their possibilities? Focused but yet not successful?

Look at your life and think about the life you want. Does your current set of tools help you get there? What new tools can you employ to get you closer?

Don't be Chica. Use all your tools and get your bunny.