2 Ways To Stay Unshakable While All Trembles Around You

As 2014 closed and I narrowed in on my theme for 2015, I had no idea exactly how applicable this year's theme was going to be.

#2015Unshakable

Several online dictionaries define unshakable as not easily panicked or upset and strongly felt and unable to be changed. When I think about the highs and lows, me and my family has already experienced in the last six weeks of this very young year, it's no wonder unshakable was the word that felt best to assign to this year.

Regardless the circumstances, the ability to stay focused and move toward our best good is imperative. But one must first define "best good" in order to live and thrive in shaky times. We have to be clear on what the "end game" is in order to stay on task toward it. And we must have coping strategies in place to buoy us through rough terrain.

Defining The End Game

One of my intentions for 2015 is to be an unshakable force for good in our world. That is pretty lofty but I've got it broken down into a few key areas - first, my home. I identified what I must do to be a force for good with those I do life with most closely. Second,  I laid out what I can do to be a force for good in my work. Be it current clients or potentials, I teamed with my partners and contractors to list ways Relationships can add value in 2015 in ways we had not in the past. Finally, in my extracurricular activities - I clearly sought ways to add value in my volunteer and other commitments. That examination prompted me to let go of some commitments to which I could no longer devote my best talents and/or attention. Having a clear "end game" in all areas of life has made it easier to face the ups and downs that have come my way in all areas in this young year. And while I feel tossed and turned, my resolve to remain an unshakable force for good is one of the things that keeps me going.


Build Coping Strategies For Tough Times

The biggest surprise of 2015 so far for me was just how depleted my personal coping mechanisms are for extremes. The past few years have been relatively uneventful for both my family and my business. With my business growing rapidly and finally finding a rhythm, it was getting easier to integrate Relationships Matter Now with the rest of my life.  However, as our family dynamic has changed (kids moving from kiddie to pre-teen and teen years - normal marital drift - elderly parent care pressures) during the same time period, it has become clear that we do not have adequate support systems in place to buoy us when things are rough - primarily me. We have operated in a silo with little to no external systems to help when we hit icy patches in the road. We are currently course correcting but I find it helpful to share what I think is necessary. Having several outlets for perspective gathering - groups of friends to listen and encourage. Dedicated time to unplug and recharge. Without that, our minds race and interrupt sleep and creativity when you most need them both.  Getting outside impartial help - be a coach, counselor or therapist. Sometimes you cannot just muscle through.

Each day I am realizing that being unshakable does not mean not reaching out for help or vocalizing what's shaking us. In fact, casting out fear of all kinds is part and parcel for being unshakable. Nothing casts out fear more than facing it down with the support of many around you. So when you see me tweeting anything that ends with my #2015Unshakable hashtag - remember the 2 things that enable me to stay unshakable in 2015.

2 Ways My $5 Ring Can Change Your Business

My flea market "valuable" ring recovered

A few months ago, I noticed that one of my favorite rings was missing. I could not find it in any of the "usual" lost locations. I'd give up on finding it.  Since I got it really cheap at a flea market over 5 years ago, I decided not to obsess over it and move on.

How delighted was I to find it today! But it's reappearance has so much more symbolism than recovering a favorite old accessory. It is another sign in my life about my current path as an entrepreneur. There are so many questions in my old battered ring. When did I lose it? How did I not see it before? Was it in the pile of snow that just melted less than 30 days ago? How did it lose it's shape even more? I did come up with two powerful and timely messages in this ring:

You Assign Value

This $5 flea market ring was one of my favorite purchases ever. I loved the ring and the woman I bought it from. I remember it like it was yesterday. She had long dreadlocks and smelled of patchouli. She complimented me on my "gorgeous" kids and told me she made most of the pieces I saw before me.  I reviewed many pieces before I decided on the silvertone ring with the cloudy blue stone. When she said it was five dollars, she quickly let me know that the stone was not real nor was it real silver. I just asked her if she'd made it. She threw her head back and laughed loudly while confirming she did but that it was a test piece with no value. She went on to tell me it was one of the first pieces she ever made and she never really liked it. In that moment, I wanted it even more. I didn't know why at the time but I do know now.  I was in the early stages of starting my business when I stumbled across this stand. While she attached no value to her test piece, it was very valuable to me. It represented her independence and her success as a jewelry maker. And I wanted to wear it. Ironically, it is one of the rings I get the most compliments on when I wear it and that is why I was heartbroken when I lost it. I bet that flea market vendor has no idea the value I've assigned to something she easily parted ways with.

You Get What You Look For

This morning, I was not looking for anything. I took the dog out as I normally do. The windy rain made me keep my head down versus my normal viewpoint. The dog stopped in her normal place to pee and this time something slightly dull yet shiny caught my eye. It was the frame of the ring. I recognized it before I could bend down to pick it up and the story from above rushed back to me. But where was the stone? I reviewed the section where I'd found the ring pretty carefully but did not see it. And because I did not want to relive the hurt of "losing" the ring all over again, I tossed the dingy ring frame into the garbage heap. It is garbage day and I was right there. Then, suddenly, I felt compelled to look again, look more closely. I did not just review the immediate area where I found the frame but the entire patch of land surrounding my mailbox. Within a minute, I found the mud covered blue stone, not even buried in the grass but sitting slightly high and in the open. Are you kidding me? I thought with a giddy smile. This was my beloved ring and now I have it back.

This is a perfect metaphor for my work life right now. I have lots of remnants of projects and proposals out there as a steady corporate gig is coming to a close. Ever so often, I catch myself worrying if I'll be able to replace this income and replace when it dries up in less than 60 days.  Finding my ring lets me know I will. Why? There is value to what I do with my company. Every day, I am privileged to spread that work more and more. And every day, others are realizing that value but I had to assign value to it first. It is easy to doubt yourself and your business when you are a small service business as we are. Cleaning up that dirty old ring has value to me because it represents an entrepreneur who believed in herself enough to start something. Every time I look at it, it has tremendous value to me. It is a reminder of never giving up on my dream to revolutionize relationships on planet Earth.

Finally, you get what you look for. There is effort involved. Clearly, I could have just tossed the ring frame and come back inside or gone for my normal walk with the dog but I chose to look for the stone of my favorite ring in the grass. I'd started to pout about losing the ring all over again. I tossed it and resigned myself to not having something I wanted, even though it may have been just under my feet.  Just as I took the time to look for the stone and found it, I am taking the time to look for new projects within my network. Sure, there will be some extra effort over the next 60 days but without it, I have no chance of replacing the income that is about to dry up. Panicking. Complaining. Freaking out. All fine but none of those reactions will get me closer to my goal. I am looking to win and keep growing my business. I am looking to grow and employ more people, more often. And just like the extra few seconds I took to look for my ring rewarded me- I am certain my extra effort with my business will reward me, too.

Finding my ring, my favorite cheap flea market ring in the grass today is a sign of what great things are on the horizon for my business.