Sloppy Towels = My New Sanity

Towels folded by others. Perfectly.

With a huge sigh of relief, I made it through September 2016. Four weeks, 12 flights, 2 road trips and about 8 nights in my own bed total. I do it to myself every year so it is not really a surprise and in the midst of it, it always hurts but on the other side, it always feels good.

The productivity.

The contacts.

The projects

Nothing matches the energy boost to my business as September of every year.

Now this year is different because it's the first time I'm winging solo as a single mom. The previous 4.5 years I could count on my husband to keep everything running smoothly at home during my chaotic time on the road. I say 1/2 because last year, I had an indication the marriage was over and his untreated clinical depression had rendered him less than capable during last year's annual September run. It did not end well and I knew I'd be in for it come 2016.

I planned better and overall it went well.  Yet there were aspects that still did not go as smoothly as I'd have liked. And thanks to the towels you see at the top of the page, I am ok with that.

Those folded towels changed my life in early September.

When I've been used to partnership and two adults carrying the load financially, physically,  mentally and emotionally for close to 14 years and I have to deal with it slowly peeling away; it is hard. It is exhausting. It is sad. But it is also frustrating. My instinct is to resist.

And in the midst of all the changes in life, you want some things to stay the same. Like the towels.

OH - but there is where I found life. Letting go of what was and accepting what is. Empowering others to chip in and accept that help without judgement.  Those "folded" towels and my ability to put them away without refolding them marked a new era in my life.

Not so long ago, I would have refolded them without a word and put them away. But not only would that have been bad for me but the message to the folks who folded them would have been that their contribution was good, but not good enough. It was physically painful to put them away as is and I laughed and giggled all the way to the pantry.

Since then, the dust in the corner doesn't bother me as much. The unpacked boxes from our May move don't nag at me at all. When I'm a few minutes late to pick up a kid, I don't sweat it. Eating Pizza Hut twice in one week elicits a shrug. Quilted Northern on sale versus Charmin Ultra Soft - nah - that's where I draw the line but you get the point.

We have entered the era  of "good enough." And my sanity is thankful.

In Like A Lion: What To Do When Life Roars Ferociously

Gorgeous lions living "outside my door" in Chicagoland

March came in like a lion and and is leaving just the same. From the extreme high of launching my second non-fiction book at the 27th Annual Forum on Workplace Inclusion to the extreme low of watching my 9 year old swell up unrecognizably in an allergic reaction that was resisting meds in the  ER over the weekend, this March has roared ferociously from start to finish. And honestly, I'm looking forward to a new month later this week.

Each week of March was full of activity, not all activity immediately "productive," the worst kind of activity for an enterprise like mine. Personal and professional ups and downs. So much so that time to post in this venue never arrived until now. I never stopped creating but my consistent creating here was horribly interrupted. What do you do when life roars as a lion directly in your face for consecutive days, weeks, months as it has for me the last seven months? These three actions kept and keep me going.

Know You Are Your Story, Not Your Circumstances

I am in a shitty season of life right now. No way around it. There are so many very good things going on for me and my family but there are also some really rough things we are working through at the same time. And it is not easy. However, I know my story. My story of triumph over tragedy. My story of character in the face of disgrace. My story of doing what's right regardless the cost. I also know my family's story and it is very similar to my personal one. We have experienced tough times before. We have seen plenty and scarcity. We know and experience joy and love. We are supportive of others and have received support. We have fun in spite of what we "see." We focus on what's important and let go of what's not. Knowing our story has helped us not focus on the circumstances we are currently facing. We are bigger than what's going on right now - good or bad. Our ability to "be" during trying times are what make us who we are - not what is happening around us.

Remember, Life Is Seasonal

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. - Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

When life is good, I often forget to enjoy it fully because I just keep pushing. I have made it an intention to focus and enjoy life more in the last 18 months or so and I am glad. For fully enjoying life when it is good helps bolster you when it is challenging. Savoring life's blessings big and small gives you good practice when facing rough waters. The ability to see it all as fleeting and seasonal is wonderful perspective that builds resilience. Resilience makes storms appear as the temporal challenges they really are. Keeping a seasonal outlook to life is good business.

Share Your Heartache

Perhaps the most challenging for people like me (and I imagine many others) is opening up about your pain. One human reaction to pain is resistance and another is shame. We hate being in pain and will often deny it but even worse is our tendency to hide it from those with whom we share our lives. Thankfully, the last two years have seen me sharing my pain and letting others assist me in carrying  the burden. This one action has trumped the other two because it gets me outside my own head. It allows for added perspective on my trouble and enables others to help me with solutions. Further, people want to help. We deny them the opportunity when we hold our challenges in secret. Allowing others to share your heartache breaks your heartache into smaller parts and thus makes it easier to endure.

So, while I am looking forward to a new month that will hopefully give way to a new season, I am prepared either way.

The Best Thing About Fall For Leaders

Every fall, I write a throwaway post about my favorite season of every year. This year will be different. I'd like to challenge leaders to use the fall and change of season as a catalyst to end 2013 on a high note.

When you think about fall, it can be an elusive season in comparison to others. Look around you now, the holiday season is subtly creeping in on us and no one will be surprised when it lands. We all long for spring after winter, especially those of us who live in areas where winter plays out with major weather shifts and sunshine deprivation (Yes, Chicago - I'm calling you out).  Summer is loved, enjoyed and lamented as it winds down and winter starts smack in the middle of the holidays as we close each year.  Fall, if not intentionally managed can be a squandered treasure each year.

Fall is the season that makes or breaks your year each year. 

It is that serious and I want leaders to look at 3 quick reasons why:

Your Final Shot At This Year's Goals

Fall is the last season of the year where you can tangibly impact your goals. With holidays around the corner and the tendency for most individuals and companies to slow down and take time off as the year closes, every week in September , October and early November is critical for a leader to impact how their year ends. Review, reflect and re-tool those goals and make sure you are doing activity to help you reach as many as you possibly can.

Preparation Time For The Next Year

Fall is also the best time to prepare for the coming year. Most organizations are budgeting for the coming year during this time so it is a great way to get a jump on activity for the new year that is less than 100 days away. You can position your team and yourself as key components for success in the year to come by pro-actively scouting and pitching opportunities in the fall. You will most certainly want to do this so you can participate in the final reason.

Making Yourself Available For Year End Respite

As the year closes and holidays set it, you should make yourself and your team ready to take advantage of this natural order slow down. Do the heavy lifting now, in the fall so that you will be able to better enjoy time away from work when others in your life also have that time available during the holiday season. Every good leader takes a break to renew and recharge. Great leaders do so with the peace of mind that they have put in the extra effort at the right times. Fall is the right time for that effort.

So if you are like me and you enjoy the fall for the crisp weather, candy corn and fashion shift - now you have some new and more productive reasons to look forward to fall each year.