HEY YOU GUUUYYYS!

Easily one of my favorite phrases of all times from the 70s Children's Television Workshop masterpiece, Electric Company. Rita Moreno could be shouting that this month on behalf of Relationships Matter Now.

Feeling like the Doobie Bros this month as I have been TAKING IT TO THE STREETS! The goal at the beginning of the month was to get the word out as much as I could about Relationships Matter Now in order to secure funding from the Pepsi Refresh Everything Project.

"We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9 NLT

There has never been more true of a statement and that is ESPECIALLY true for me and Relationships Matter Now right now.

First, we were featured on two BlogTalk Radio shows this month - follow the links below to listen:

Dr. Mommy Family Talk - Relationships Matter

Meet Denise Barreto on SmartWoman Radio

Those were planned opportunities to get the word out about my project. Both were really great conversations and afforded me audiences who had not been aware of what were are doing before now.

Relationships Matter Now started a Facebook page,  find us at www.facebook.com/relationshipsmatternow

NOW - three new collaboration opportunities have come to fruition and I will be meeting with a web developer early next week. I

Besides wanting to share with you the progress of Relationships Matter Now- the secondary purpose of this post is to follow up on a post I wrote earlier this month entitled Keep Moving Forward. Exactly 10 days ago, I wrote about the importance of keeping forward motion in life especially when it's hard. If you will take a moment to go back and read that post here and come back and re-read this one. It will all be clear.

We must push ourselves through the moments when we've had enough. Great rewards await us on the other side.

3 Relationships Woes That Led To iPhone 4G Leaks at Apple

Something is up with the human relationships at Apple Corporation.

Perhaps, that is overstated. Maybe there is just an issue with relationships in the product development group.

How else can you explain the recent happenings over the last 30 days with the leaked iPhone 4G prototypes showing up places? Left in bar in Redwood City? In a Vietnamese video showing all the ins and outs that is a YouTube and media sensation?

Maybe I'm just naive but I do remember a time when secret was, well it was SECRET.  One blogger on PC World stated that "Apple is a company known to keep secrets better than the CIA."

To have to clear confidentiality breaches so close to one another on the same product - you have to ask yourself  - How does that happen?

I'll tell you. There is a breakdown in human relationships. There are many many angles to look at this debacle but I am looking squarely at the human factor. People play the most important role in any company's future.  And there are some people at Apple who have had some relational breakdowns and that led to the confidentiality surrounding the iPhone 4G being blown - not once but twice.

Here are 3 likely relationship issues that led to Apple's current prototype woes:

1.  Communication breakdown

My guess is that in the past  - product development people had clear communication from management on what was expected in the way of confidentiality.  It was crystal clear what was OK and what was considered a huge risk. I can imagine the statement went something like this: "Please use the said prototype just as you would your regular phone. Take it with you wherever you go. However, do not take it into a potentially compromising situation such as taking it with you when you're going to have a bunch of beers at your favorite pub."

Communication is the usually a root cause when there are issues in a relationship. One party feels misunderstood and clams up. Or another, more dominating party may pounce and bark orders and not notice that the other parties are not participating fully. Regardless the situation - it is clear that communication has broken down in area where iPhone 4Gs are being developed.

2.  Lack of ownership

Another clear sign that something is awry is the fact that not once but twice now there have been breaches in confidentially surrounding the same product. It is clear that we do not know the exact timing on the breaches and if they happened for sure in the order reported. Even so,  the fact of the matter is this - more than one person on that team does not feel part of the process and therefore  - be it by accident (bar) or on purpose (Vietnamese video) - somebody is not feeling the love from their managers.

When people do not believe that they "own" or "control" their future in a relationship, they do careless things. They forget important facts that they otherwise would keep sacred in their minds. That feeling of hopeless can sometimes morph itself into out-and-out disrespect or contempt which will lead to one of two things. A slow but steady burn at the relationship or a quick blowout. Either way, it is destructive and causes damage that can lead to costly mistakes that are sometimes hard to repair. This whole mess caught Apple by surprise but I am certain had been brewing in this area of the company long before we (and the whole world) have witnessed these lapses in judgement.

3.  Broken trust

You may think I'm referring to the company's trust in these employees. Not at all. I would assert that these employees no longer trust Apple. Perhaps the transparency that they enjoyed in years past is no longer there and as much as we in the public are all kept in the dark on plans - maybe the employees are keep in the dark, too.  It could also be compensation related. I can't imagine that people in the product development area at Apple being undervalued but who knows? Another thought could be that maybe these people have given their lives to Apple and believed in its culture that is most likely changing as it grows and matures and they are acting out in some way to express their discontent.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is trust between these individuals involved in the breaches and Apple is poor. Why? When there is mutual trust and confidence in a relationship - you work together toward your goals. There is a clear understanding of how reaching those goals is beneficial to all parties involved. Of course, mistakes are sometimes made but they are not repeated. And thinking purely of the order in which the two incidences were reported - you can be sure that as soon as everyone knew of the April mishap in the bar - there would have been monumental efforts to secure the rest of the prototypes in the marketplace and any previous breaches disclosed and a new plan of attack created, together - management and everyone. We would have heard about the Vietnamese video from Apple rather than other sources. Why? Because whomever was involved would have come clean because they trusted that their best interest which when aligned with the best interests of the company would have been to put their team, their company on the offensive rather than the defensive as they are today.

This is unprecedented for Apple and I know they are scrambling to figure it out. Might I boldly offer a suggestion - stop and take a look at the relationships involved and seek out help to repair them. This is not a "deal breaker" and can be solved if given careful consideration.

In fact - with grace (a verb that needs to make a comeback in Corporate America) and thoughtful training, Apple can move into the future even stronger than before with the employees who broke their trust. As long as the relationships involved are repaired and given new life.

I know a hungry little company looking to make its mark. Call me Steve Jobs.

Keep Moving Forward!

The last few weeks have been a bit challenging for me.

One source of seed money for Relationships Matter Now has all but evaporated from possibility after careful planning and such a strong start to the execution of the plan of attack for this month.

Seemingly small conflicts have been magnified in my heart and have taken a particular toll on my normally cheerful self.

I am struggling to smile and keep myself from falling into a funk (the no sun in Chicagoland to start this week has not helped).

There is just NOT ENOUGH TIME in each day and I feel only a bit closer to the key milestones I had planned for this year vs. where I wanted to be.

Yet over and over since Sunday - I have been reminded not to give up.

Whether it be in really obvious bible verses like James 1:12 from this morning or Galatians 6:9 - both  say "stay the course" in so many words; or in the various blogs and articles that have somehow found their way across my computer screen - the message was clear: Don't Give Up. Keep Moving Forward.

I took a quick look back in my blog roll and noted that since I started this blog in Oct 2008 - there has been no less than 10 posts about perseverance, persistence or faithfulness. Check out two of my favorites - this one from November 2009 and this post from April 2009.

Upon re-reading my own writing - plus all the great external reminders this week - I am renewed and recharged to press on.

Today - I challenge you to join me and keep moving forward.

Whatever you are working on is worth it. 

There are people on the other side of the obstacle/conflict that need ideas and solutions that only YOU can provide.

Not to mention the personal satisfaction you will feel when you triumph!

KEEP ON MOVING FORWARD.

I LOVE GENERATING IDEAS!

One of my all-time favorite activities at work is brainstorming!

Today I will embark on a new project for work and will use my modus operandi (latin for method of operating) to kick off my work - the brainstorm. I use this tactic to start every endeavor I EVER embark on. Now that I think of it - I brainstormed scenarios after I met my husband in Best Buy - WOW!

Generally speaking, I am a creative at heart. A big thinker. The only thing I love more than spending time brainstorming by myself is bringing along a cross-functional team of people who I will stretch, squeeze and motivate to give me their best ideas, too.

It is good to have an M.O. that works over and over.

Have you found yours?

Top Five Reasons I've Really Loved the Last Nine Years With Isael Barreto

Look at this picture. Oct 2000.

The setting: Glorious - the sleepy, white-washed town in thebackground is La Herradura, Spain.

A small Spanish village snuggly fit in a horseshoe beach on theMediterranean Sea.

The couple: Young, hopeful and excited about the future they've just decided to spend together.


9 years, 8 months, 13 days ago - we met in the electronics department of the Best Buy on Harlem at the North Riverside mall. 13 days later I moved to Spain to live out a dream I'd been saving for and planning towards for most of 1999 and 2000. 5 weeks later, Isael joined me on the adventure. We have not been apart since.

Today - we celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Darling! It's sort of funny to say that today since we really celebrate in August - the day we met. Honestly - we've just made a habit of celebrating period. Every day. Every occasion is an excuse to have fun and enjoy one another.

So today - I give you the Top Five Reasons I've Really Loved the Last Nine Years with Isael Barreto

5. The Food - for someone who grew up with four sisters and a doting mom - this guy can throw down in the kitchen! I remember the first time he made black bean quesadillas - I wanted to marry him again.

4. The Culture - marrying my Mexican love has been an adventure in culture and understanding. My life is richer for having him, his family and his culture in it.

3. The Temperment - We are night and day. He is chill and I am nuts. He is tender and emotional and has taught me that I can be as well. He has just as much adventure in him as me so we make a great travel team. We compliment each other wholly.

2. The Kids - Emma and Evan are wonderful. They are a great mix of the two of us inso many ways. Emma with Isael's body frame and quiet yet hilarious demeanor. Evan is 100% me energy yet all boy and all Daddy. The second great loves of my life.

1. The Laughter - Not a day goes by that we don't laugh together. At each other. At others. Even in some really hard, dark times - we found ways to laugh, every day. I am laughing as I write this thinking of some of our inside jokes from the early days in Spain "Mama, bebe tiene hambre" would send us on the floor or street anytime we said it.

Thanks Isael for these great years. I love you and know that many more adventures await us.

Pepsi Refresh Everything Project - TAKE TWO!

Later this week - precisely Saturday May 1 - I will turn up the noise again on my Pepsi Refresh Everything Project - Relationships Matter Now.

In case you haven't been with me - here's the deal: I have an idea to revolutionize relationships on our planet. Pepsi is giving away money for good ideas. I got my idea into consideration in the first month February and I did decent in voting reaching the top 30. In March - I started the month super strong and remained in funding contention (only top ten ideas are funded in my category) from March 1 - until the fateful day March 19 when I fell to 11 and finished in 15 place.

We took April to regroup and here two updates that will make this campaign different:

1. PARTNERSHIP

I have partnered with a well known organization (can't say who but believe me it's big - it is an established non-profit organization in over 300 communities servicing more than 2 million members at 1,778 sites in the US alone) to send out weekly reminders to their network to garner votes for my project.

2. MEDIA

In addition to my daily social media efforts on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn, I will be the guest on two different blog radio programs with a combined reach of over 25,000 followers of these two personalities. First on Wed May 12 and then again on Wed May 19 - I'll tweet/FB on those times so you can listen or point you to the podcasts afterwards. I am looking for other opportunities to get the word out in the regular media. Toying around with two news personalities here in Chicago that I have connections to.. will update on that soon.

The rest is up to you - the good old fashioned -word-of-mouth spreading of the the project and link. I am so appreciative of the past efforts and am counting on your diligence to push me to get the funding in May.

Here is the link - long way www.refresheverything.com/relationshipsmatternow or the shortened link http://pep.si/ap8Zao when you tweet.

If you are not following me on twitter - please go and do it now - find me under DeniseWBarreto - that way you can hear updates and get reminders to vote frequently.

Finally - I am open to any ideas you may have to help get votes to get the funding. Leave me a note here or reach out on one of the other channels of communication.

Thanks for believing in me and my idea.

Relationships: Key to "Having It All."

Wife. Mother. Marketer. Public Servant.

In that order.

That is one aspect of my brand, if you will. For me, it clearly shows the world the priorities that I must manage day-in and day-out.

Imagine my surprise when watching the ABC News Nightline Face-Off from this week entitled "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?" and one of the audience members said this and I quote:

"You cannot be a great wife, a great mother AND have a powerful career all at the same time. You cannot. It is not possible. I believe that anybody that thinks that 'oh I can balance that all together' is not being realistic about what it takes to do two or even one of those things well and correctly"

Go see the whole series here - You can watch this woman in segment 10, entitled "Love Will Never Go Out of Style"

Hmmph.

This took me by surprise for a number of reasons but most of all because of all the applause of the audience at the conclusion of the statement. Generally speaking, it seemed that everyone in that audience (and some of the panelists Sherri Shepherd and Jacque Reid) all agreed with this one single mom's assessment of the situation. As a collective society, we have lost hope. We don't believe that it is possible to be married, raise a family and have a successful career.

Perhaps, I am one of those delusional souls.

Or is it possible that I have found a way to make all of the above work in a healthy way for me, my family and my employer (s). For example... Let's take a closer look at my priorities in reverse order:

I enjoy a healthy political career as an elected official for the village I live in - speaking in Central Illinois at a Parks and Recreation conference just last Thursday. I had a fantastic meeting with a community member yesterday to look at how we can work together to motivate qualified women to get involved in municipal government.

Earlier last week - I got a stellar review (in 2 out of the five ratings criteria I received 5 out of a possible 5 in scoring) and promotion in my corporate job. Meanwhile in my SPARE TIME, I am building a movement to revolutionize relationships on this planet - if you are not aware - see more here

Both my children are well-behaved and adjusted (this can be documented through their schools if you don't believe me) with my oldest getting straight As in all subjects since she's been on the letter grading system this past fall. They are also music whizzes both playing piano and my 4 year old playing guitar as well. We hang out cuddling every chance we get and they both declare that I will be their "bestest friend forever." (here is where I am delusional but leave me alone - I'll take it as long as they dish it)

My husband and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage on Tuesday and we are enjoying and appreciating one another more and more each day. We continue to build traditions and fun into our lives as a couple but also as a family. We had a catastrophic (I use this word because many people break up for much less) event in our relationship in 2008 but were gracious to one another in the eye of the storm and did not damage the relationship further with drama - we buckled down, dug our heels in, LEANED INTO EACH OTHER and worked it out. We're still working it out. We are not perfect but we get stronger with each passing day.

I am not saying all of this to brag but I am puzzled that someone out there thinks that it is "not possible" or that I am not "being realistic" to think I can be the:

Wife. Mother. Marketer. Public Servant.

In that order. And do it well.

Ultimately - it all boils down to my favorite topic: Relationships.

Self-awareness is at the core plus a clear and healthy relationship with oneself.

Hang with me, everyone. I am not saying that my Relationship Revolution (I love the sound of this) is going to solve this. However, I am certain that we will restore hope in the dream of "Having it All".


We are starting the conversation. We will raise the questions and work on the answers.


We are going to find and raise the visibility on families that are "making it work."


We are going to help people with healing and repairing broken intimate relationships. When we succeed, we are going publicize and celebrate these victories and show people that as Steve Harvey said "Love is not going out of style." Nor are thriving healthy business and social relationships extinct.


We will find companies who are progressive in their relationships with their employees (Zappos - I'm callin' your name) and enable them to raise their level of service to those employees by further equipping them to build and maintain vibrant working and personal relationships.

We are going to equip everyday people with the basic tools to pro-actively care for all relationships in their lives - starting with their relationship with themselves.


We are going to show the world that with a little consistent work and effort -you, too, can have healthy relationships, which are at the core of "Having it All."

And doing it well.